Cows on the loose in Boxford, Mass., crashed a backyard party last weekend, and went right for the beer.

"They enjoyed it. There's no doubt about it. They went right for the beer and then when one was done, they'd knock another one over and take care of that beer," Lt. James Riter of the Boxford Police Department told NBC affiliate WHDH.com.

Police said they heard reports of screams from a group of women as five or six cows stumbled into the yard, eagerly hurtling toward the beers.

"They got up as the cows went toward the table. They stepped back and the cows took over the table, knocking over the beers with their noses, drinking the beer off the table. They went to the recycling bin to find any leftovers," Riter told the TV station.

A caller told the 911 dispatcher: "We thought they were deer, but they're huge, huge, huge cows. There's got to be five or six of them."

Andrea Poritzky also called 911 after spotting "about six cows" in her yard.

"I don't own cows," she said.

"I was initially a little nervous. And then after I found it very comical and not very surprising due to the fact that we live in the country here," Poritzky said.

A police escort rounded up the cows and returned them to a farm about a mile away.

There will be a little less congregation and a little more action for this former vicar from now on following his decision to quit the church to become an Elvis impersonator.

Reverend Andy Kelso made the shock decision after he received a message from God to spread the word of the King while he was out walking his dogs.

The 64-year-old has now swapped the Church of England for that of Elvis after setting up the Elvis Gospel Tribute Act.

'One day I was out walking the dogs in between church services and I felt God say to me very strongly "take Elvis to the church", revealed Elvis Prayersley.

'It was a shock but after one concert there was a lot of interest from churches who wanted to connect with their communities and my tribute act seems to connect.

'When I play, the venues are packed out and I've not looked back since.'

Entrepreneur Roy Hobbs has made £180 trillion from the idea of sending group emails instead of using Facebook.

The much-publicised search for the 'new Facebook' ended when 67-year-old Hobbs realised there was a gap in the market for a communication tool that doesn't pester you to meet local singles, become an elf or buy an anti-bacterial floor cleaner.

Group emails visionary Hobbs said: "It's just like social networking, but without the legions of strangers.

"The business model needs some work but everyone agrees that the most important thing initially is to get a massive, really cool office full of robots and 80s arcade machines."

The group emails concept has caused a sensation in the online community.

They may have different friends and different interests but nothing brings high school students together like alphabetical order.

For the eight students at a California high school with the same last name-Nguyen- it was obvious their wallet-size snapshots would be sharing the same yearbook page.

So instead of exerting their individuality with the standard Grateful Dead quote and a prom-worthy up-do, they decided to join forces for the ultimate prank. Alexandra, Angela, Angelica, Elizabeth, Emily, Isabella, Madeline and Vi Nguyen all wore the same black off-shoulder dresses and the same hairstyles. Then they went for the win.

For 12 hours, two herds of wild South African elephants slowly made their way through the Zululand bush until they reached the house of late author Lawrence Anthony, the conservationist who saved their lives.

The formerly violent, rogue elephants, destined to be shot a few years ago as pests, were rescued and rehabilitated by Anthony, who had grown up in the bush and was known as the "Elephant Whisperer."

For two days the herds loitered at Anthony's rural compound on the vast Thula Thula game reserve in the South African KwaZulu - to say good-bye to the man they loved. But how did they know he had died March 7?

Known for his unique ability to calm traumatized elephants, Anthony had become a legend. He is the author of three books, Baghdad Ark, detailing his efforts to rescue the animals at Baghdad Zoo during the Iraqi war, the forthcoming The Last Rhinos, and his bestselling The Elephant Whisperer.

A family of six orangutans at Miami's Jungle Island Zoological Park have been introduced to Apple iPads in an effort to bridge the communication gap between humans and the endangered animals. Finally, a believable explanation for how apes will get smart enough to enslave their human overlords -- had we only taken 20th Century Fox's Planet of the Apes franchise seriously.

Today, the Herald Sun reported the orangutans -- who share 97% of their DNA with humans--have been using the iPads to "draw, play games and expand their vocabulary."

It might not come as a surprise to learn the apes' interests in the tablets aren't too different from our own. Among the ape clan, the 8-year-old twins are obsessed with it. Their teenage sibling is, too. But senior members of the group aren't so enthralled with the new technology. Maybe they'd feel more comfortable using a Galaxy Tablet instead?

"I think they just figure, 'I've gotten along just fine in this world without this communication skill here and the iPad, and I don't need a computer,' " explains Linda Jacobs, who oversees the program. Sounds like your older relative who still thinks you have to sign into AOL to get on the internet, doesn't it?

The Guardian has revealed that Underwear Bomber II, who was about to blow up a passenger jet with an undetectable explosive codpiece when he was somehow detected, was actually a CIA agent.

Based on a number of interviews with those involved (zero is a number, right?) and my expertise as a Ph.D. Arabist and terror expert, I can tell you pretty much what happened.

Underwear Bomber II - let's call him Kharah Ibnulkilab - was a CIA agent provocateur. His controller at Langley handed him fifty thousand dollars in cash and sent him to Yemen, with the promise of another fifty thousand if he could create a Return-of-Son-of-Underwear-Bomber incident to help keep the phony War on Terror going.

Kharah arrived in Yemen and started going to mosques and waving around fistfuls of cash. "All of this, plus a bevy of heavenly virgins, will be yours if you promise to wire some explosives to your testicles and detonate them on an airplane," he inveighed.

After he was 86ed from seventeen mosques, beaten up eleven times, robbed twice, and laughed out of thirteen of Yemen's eighteen provinces, Kharah finally took his third wad of CIA-furnished, US-taxpayer-supplied hundred dollar bills back to CIA headquarters. "Couldn't you guys just build the bomb? Then I'll turn it in and say I got it from al-Qaeda."

"The CIA doesn't build bombs for terrorists," his case officer snapped.

"What about the World Trade Center demolitions?'

"That was the Mossad."

"What about the first World Trade Center bomb, and the Oklahoma City bombs?"

"That was the FBI."

"Well, then send in the FBI!"

So thanks to the new inter-agency cooperation protocol established by the Patriot Act, an FBI terrorist-bomb-construction team was sent to Yemen to create a detection-proof exploding codpiece.

This is probably the coolest video we've ever posted. This woman reunites with the wild wolves she once socialized, and it's a great and loving reunion. It'll put a smile on your face. :)

If you didn't think American civilization was in trouble already, this ought to worry you: Americans are hiring psychics to communicate with their pets.

According to Benjamin Radford of Discovery News, pet psychics claim they can use telepathy to communicate with animals, living and dead -- for about $85 an hour.

I can tell pet owners what their dog is thinking for half that amount: Rover wants you to scratch him on the belly and give him a treat. I'll pop my invoice in the mail.

But this isn't about telepathy so much as it is about our obsession with pets -- a reflection of a country gone nutty and soft, confused by our emotions.

Look: Pets, generally, are a great thing. Social scientists explain that in our fast-paced, transient society, pets help fill the void that was once filled by close friends and extended family.

I love dogs and wish I wasn't away from home so often or I'd get one.

But our obsession with pets is getting out of hand. Despite our sour economy, the pet-service industry continues to grow by $2 billion a year -- to $52 billion this year.

Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft.

Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due the problem.

While many airlines might choose to tackle the problem by, say, having engineers fix the problem, Nepal Airlines opted for a more goat-centric approach.