Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Robot

Don't finish stutterer's sentences, UK police told among others in their new handbook

Murray Wardrop
The Telegraph
Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:56 UTC
Police have been ordered not to finish off the sentences of people with a stutter to prevent them appearing politically incorrect.

Officers have been given a new "diversity handbook" advising them how to avoid offensive faux pas when dealing with members of the public.

Other nuggets of wisdom contained in the 140-page guide include not moving people's walking sticks or leaning on people's wheelchairs.

The booklet even reminds officers that it is legal for members of the public "to wear clothing and accessories of any gender in public so long as their genitals are covered".

When dealing with people who can only communicate through sign language, police are advised not to use their handcuffs "inappropriately".
Read More...
Bell

Dog owners do look like their pets, say psychologists

Kate Devlin
Telegraph
Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:13 UTC
Researchers found that members of the public could predict which breed of dog a person would own almost twice as accurately as they should be able to, just by looking at a photograph of their owners.

Image
© ReutersWomen with long, glossy hair stand with their Afghan hound during the Crufts dog show
Volunteers rightly connected poodles, labradors and Staffordshire bull terriers with their masters.

There were a number of physical reasons why owners looks suggested which dog they would have, including what clothes they wore and their build, said Dr Lance Workman, from Bath Spa University.

"There is a little bit of truth in the theory that owners look like their dogs, but if you are of a robust build you will probably have a more robust dog so that you can gets lots of exercise. If you are more slight you may want a poodle as you think that they need less exercise," he said.
Read More...
Smiley

Robert Crumb Set To Publish 'Scandalous' Bible Satire

Allison Flood
Guardian.co.uk.
Tue, 31 Mar 2009 01:56 UTC
Image
© Sarah LeeRobert Crumb being interviewed at the National Film Theater.
The famously subversive US cartoonist Robert Crumb has announced the completion of his long-awaited take on the Book of Genesis.

The acclaimed satirist revealed on his personal website that he had finished the project, which is out this autumn, and which his UK publisher is predicting will "provoke the religious right". Four years in the making, Crumb worked from the King James Bible and Robert Alter's translation to reinterpret the Book of Genesis, from the Creation via Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to Noah boarding his ark.
Read More...
Beer

Ohio Man Charged With Drunk Driving On Bar Stool


Dallas News
Tue, 31 Mar 2009 01:51 UTC
Image
The Newark (Ohio) Police Department say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries in early March, they found a man who had wrecked this bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.
Newark, Ohio - Authorities in Ohio say a man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.
Read More...
Cut

Stephen Colbert Rips Apart Glenn Beck: Building His Career On 9/11 (VIDEO)


Huffington Post
Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:06 UTC
Stephen Colbert ripped apart Fox News host (and New York Times cover boy) Glenn Beck Tuesday night, mocking his 9-12 project, meant to conjure the spirit of compassion and camaraderie Americans felt on September 12, 2001.

"We weren't told how to behave that day after 9/11, we just knew," Beck says to describe the project. "It was right, it was the opposite of what we feel today. Are you ready to be the person you were that day after 9/11, on 9/12?"

"Ready!" Colbert shouted, decked out in a gas mask, holding a gun, and wearing adult diapers.

Colbert then used a classic "Daily Show" tactic, exposing the hypocrisy of Beck's 9-12 project by highlighting comments he made on September 9, 2005.

"This is horrible to say, and I wonder if I'm alone in this," Beck said on his radio program that day, "you know it took me about a year to start hating the 9/11 victims' families? I don't hate all of them. I hate probably about 10 of them. But when I see a 9-11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh, shut up!' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining. And we did our best for them."

"The 9-12 project is not for families directly affected by 9/11, just people building their careers on it," Colbert said.

Colbert went on to mock Beck's now infamous tendency to cry, and to launch his own "democratic experiment, the 10-31 project."

"It will be scare and balanced!" he joked.
Read More...
Pumpkin

The dog ate my party


Reuters
Thu, 02 Apr 2009 11:34 UTC
Koni Putin's Dog
© REUTERS/RIA Novosti/PoolRussian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin watches his dog Koni that wears a GPS device on its collar in the Novo-Ogaryovo residence outside Moscow October 17, 2008.
Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's pet dog gobbled up a special tea prepared for bosses of Russia's ruling party Wednesday.

While Putin discussed ways to help the local food industry, his favorite black Labrador Koni slinked into a room at his residence and tucked into delicacies prepared for leaders of his United Russia party.
Read More...
Beer

Taking the fizz out of Coke ad claims

Rob Taylor
Reuters
Thu, 02 Apr 2009 11:36 UTC
Coca-Cola Fizz in Oz
© REUTERS/Tami Chappell
Claims Coke will not make children fat or rot their teeth have landed Coca-Cola in trouble with Australia's consumer watchdog, which Thursday ordered the soft drink company to correct its advertising.

Coca-Cola South Pacific (CCSP) last year ran advertising titled "Motherhood & Myth-Busting," featuring popular Australian actress Kerry Armstrong and claiming Coke was "kiddy-safe."

As well as claiming Coke did not make children fat or harm their teeth, the full-page print ads sought to combat public perceptions that Coke was packed with large amounts of caffeine.
Read More...
Brick Wall

Satire: David Addington and John Yoo Cancel Plans to Backpack across Europe

Will Menaker
The Huffington Post
Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:37 UTC
Washington DC -- A Spanish court has agreed to consider a criminal case against six former Bush Administration officials over allegations they helped craft the legal means with which to torture prisoners in US custody. With arrest warrants likely to be issued, this criminal complaint brought before one of Europe's leading counter-terrorist courts has lead to renewed questions about America, the rule of law, and human rights as well as raised a serious road-block in the way of two of the targets' summer vacation plans.
Read More...
Wolf

South Park - Stan Marsh takes us through the mortgage crisis


South Park
Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:07 UTC

From this week's episode of South Park, "Margaritaville," Stan Marsh and others get hit with the backlash of the credit crunch.
Read More...
Smiley

The best April Fool's pranks go beyond the ordinary

James Foster
Times & Transcript
Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:33 UTC
April Fool's Day pranks were always a hoot at our house, as long as it was someone else being pranked.

Dad was a favourite target, as dads always are, and poor Papa Foster soon grew to regret the day he raised a house full of kids that were far, far more inventive than to simply switch the contents of the sugar bowl for salt before he got up to make coffee on April 1. Pfft, that stuff was for amateurs.

Chinese food was a rare luxury at our house, so on those special occasions when we'd order in, Dad would dive in with great gusto, making a big production of the feast.
Read More...