Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
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Magic Wand

Give 'Em Hell, Mr. Terkel

Studs Terkel, the great journalist, raconteur and listener, turns 95 this week. He was born in New York City on May 16, 1912, to a tailor and a seamstress. He says: "I was born in the year the Titanic sank. The Titanic went down, and I came up. That tells you a little about the fairness of life."
Coffee

Crumbs! Lancashire chocolate thieves take Flakes

A lorry-load of Cadbury's Flake bars worth about £140,000 has been stolen.

Bizarro Earth

Happy to entertain. Look at the smile on his face



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Battery

Internet Billboard Reads: "Will Think for Money"

It's like voicevertising, but quieter.

A couple of years ago, we posted a link to Floyd's eBay auction, which offered his exclusive VoiceVertising services. The high bidder was Halls Fruit Breezers. Millions of PR impressions ensued (more or less).

Years later, a quieter, more reflective Floyd has emerged. And he's willing to train his thoughts on your brand.

Light Sabers

Woman, Cops Exchange Pepper Spray Blasts

HOT SPRINGS, Ark. - A woman in Hot Springs has been arrested after she allegedly exchanged blasts of pepper spray with two police officers. Police said Lawanda Diane Clay, 38, produced a can of pepper spray when two officers were investigating a disturbance complaint Sunday.
Wine

Paris Hilton Headed For Tent City Chain Gang?

Heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, Paris Hilton, was recently ordered to 45 days in jail for violating her probation.

But because of some serious overcrowding in Los Angeles jails, she may not have to serve the complete sentence.

Comment: Boy that's good because we were getting a bit concerned that she might not get speshul treatment.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio says he's spoken to the chief of jails in Los Angeles and offered to house Hilton at Tent City.

Bizarro Earth

C-section birth on giant screen

A hospital screened footage of a baby being born by caesarian section on a giant screen at a shopping mall in China.

Anzhen Hospital, in Changsha city, broadcast the eight minute clip three times at the downtown Fashion Square mall.

"We wanted to do something special on Mother's Day. And we think broadcasting a C-section is a good idea," said a hospital spokesman.

"On the one hand it can remove the fear of future mothers, on the other hand we want people to see how great our own mothers are."
Wine

Wisconsin festival sells deep-fried testicles

Around here, it may be tough to pass up anything deep-fried.

Wisconsinites have deep-fried cheese curds, candy bars and Twinkies. They now have deep-fried livestock testicles, too.
Bomb

UFO Belief And Cognitive Dissonance

What happens when you have to change your view of "how things are?"
Wine

15 ways to tell there won't be a second date

Sometimes we consult our circle of friends to see if the weird stuff that's happening to us on our dates is also happening to them. (We can't decide if it's sad or comforting to find out things are weird everywhere.)

One common experience is getting stuck in a date we know is going to be a beating. We agreed that sometimes you just know. It might be something he says when he picks you up, or something she does when you meet her at the restaurant. Whatever it is, it turns us off right away.
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