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Sheeple

Kim Jong II ate my rabbits for his birthday

The offspring of the 12 giant rabbits were supposed to help to feed starving North Koreans. Now doubts about their fate have brought an abrupt halt to one of the more unlikely hunger-alleviating projects.

Karl Szmolinsky sold the rabbits to Pyongyang so that they could be used to set up a breeding programme to boost meat production in the Hermit Kingdom.

However, amid concerns that they have been eaten by the country's leaders, Mr Szmolinsky will not be sending any more.
Wolf

Wolf Whistles Are Banned

Construction workers have been banned from wolf whistling at women at their building sites.

George Wimpey South Wales is sending out instructions to all its building contractors this week, warning workers not to whistle at women.

The company's sales and marketing director Richard Goad, who wrote the memo, said he hoped the move would make women feel more comfortable when looking for a new home.

Mr Goad, based at the company's Cardiff headquarters, said: "There's no doubt that first impressions last. There's little point in having a super show home unless a woman can get out of her car and feel comfortable looking around.
Bizarro Earth

Beijinger buying flies to help clean up city

Retired restaurateur Guo Zhanqi is buying flies for two yuan ($0.259) apiece to help clean up Beijing for next year's Olympics, local media reported on Wednesday.

Echoing Mao Zedong's campaign against the "Four Harms" in the 1950s, Guo can be found outside the city's Chaoyang Park doling out his savings to anybody who hands over a dead fly.

"There were always a mass of flies around the entrance to my restaurant, and no fewer inside," the 60-year-old told Beijing Youth Daily. "It was extremely disgusting."
Bulb

Swedish Couple fights to name baby 'Metallica'

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Metallica may be a cool name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince officials it is also suitable for a baby girl.

Comment: Well, I suppose Metallica is better than Alice in Chains.

Bizarro Earth

BBQ is Evil! Belgium to impose tax on barbequing to fight global warming

The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.

Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, is emitted during barbequing. Beginning June 2007, residents of Wallonia will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling session.
Wolf

Pit bull dog owner bites policeman

The owner of a pit bull bit a policeman after his dog ran away during a confrontation with officers, daily Diario de Noticias reported on Tuesday.

Two policemen stopped the dog owner for walking the animal without a leash and a muzzle on Sunday in Cova da Moura -- a poor neighbourhood on the outskirts of Lisbon.

The man threatened the officers with his dog, but the animal bolted leaving the 35-year-old to grapple with both policemen. The owner bit one of the policemen on the wrist while the other suffered a broken finger in the scuffles, the newspaper reported.
Bulb

Police: Man Arrives at DUI Hearing Drunk

YORK, Pa. - A man who arrived at court drunk for a drunken-driving hearing was again charged with driving under the influence, police said.

Star

O'Donnell, O'Reilly, O'Feud

Welcome to the no-win zone.

Rosie O'Donnell and Bill O'Reilly were back in the proverbial ring over the weekend for round two of their burgeoning feud - this one, at least, over a slightly more highbrow matter than the drinking habits of a beauty queen.
Question

AF!! Secret Alien Autopsy laboratory discovered in Kresge Science Complex

Marsha Mellow, a recently hired custodial worker for the college, has seen a lot of strange things while working at colleges over the past 10 years.

However, nothing compares to what she found in the basement of the new Kresge Science Complex - an alien autopsy lab.
Eagle

Return of the lovesick swan

The swan that fell in love with a peddle boat is back courting its plastic lover after spending the winter in a local zoo.

Swans choose a partner for life but the rare Black Australian swan nicknamed Petra made the mistake of falling for a peddle boat designed to look like a swan.

And when Petra's peddle boat lover refused to fly south for the winter Petra also remained, a move that could have killed her as the cold weather arrived.
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