Science of the SpiritS


2 + 2 = 4

What 90-somethings regret most

Lydia Sohn
Medium
Sat, 04 Aug 2018 22:59 UTC
I interviewed the oldest people I know. Their responses contradict popular research about aging and happiness.
elderly woman with hands folded
© Cristian Newman on Unsplash
My preconceptions about older people first began to crumble when one of my congregants, a woman in her 80s, came into my office seeking pastoral care. She had been widowed for several years but the reason for her distress was not the loss of her husband. It was her falling in love with a married man. As she shared her story with me over a cup of tea and Kleenex, I tried to keep a professional and compassionate countenance, though, internally, I was bewildered by the realization that even into their 80s, people still fall for one another in that teenage, butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of way.

One of the strange and wonderful features of my job as a minister is that I get to be a confidant and advisor to people at all stages of life. I've worked with people who are double and even triple my age. Experience like this is rare; our economic structure and workforce are stratified, and most people are employed within their own demographics. But because I'm a minister in a mainline denomination with an aging base, the people I primarily interact with are over the age of 60. I came into my job assuming that I, a Korean-American woman in my mid-30s, would not be able to connect with these people - they're from a completely different racial and cultural background than me. It did not take long for me to discover how very wrong I was.

Comment:

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People 2

How to talk to someone who won't accept reality

Jessica Stillman
Inc.
Sun, 03 Dec 2017 10:14 UTC
Broken rope knot
Holiday family gatherings are right around the corner, which means you may soon find yourself face to face with that one kooky relative who believes that Obama is a Muslim, 9/11 was an inside job, or NASA staged the moon landing. Is there anything to do in this situation except change the subject and pour another glass of wine?

And how about the less loony but still substantive disagreements about facts? Is there any way to breach the divide if you're faced with someone who simply doesn't accept reality in some important way?

Most of us view these sorts of exchanges as hopeless causes, but not Ohio State University behavioral scientist Gleb Tsipursky. On the blog Relatively Interesting he offered an in-depth guide to dealing with denialism, whether it's the outrageous political variety or a more day-to-day case of someone who refuses to pull their head out of the sand.

Facts Don't Win Arguments

To kick off his useful post, Tsipursky points out that while conspiracy theories might be fringe examples, denialism itself isn't at all uncommon. One four-year study that involved interviews with more than 1,000 board members, found that, when a CEO is ousted, 23 percent of the time it's because he or she was unwilling or unable to accept some basic aspect of reality. When faced with threatening information, people often stick their heads in the sand.

Comment: When it comes to argument and debate, often times it turns out that facts aren't what matters. As mentioned, presenting 'facts' will only cause people to cling harder to their beliefs on the subject. In Jonathan Haidt's book The Righteous Mind, he describes how it's a person's intuition, how they feel about the subject, comes first. Reasoning and logic follow. In the the book he uses the analogy of "the elephant and the rider". We (the rider) think we're in control of what is happening but it really is the elephant (intuition) that leads the way. When it comes to trying to convince someone of the 'facts', one needs to appeal to that person's elephant, rather than the rider. Although not easy to do, it is by working to find common ground with another that real dialogue can be had. Especially when it comes to delicate subjects such as politics. For more on Haidt see also: A cognitive theory and politics

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Light Saber

Facing adversity: How to stay motivated in the midst of challenging times


Darius Foroux
Tue, 10 Jul 2018 00:00 UTC
adversity, motivation
In the midst of challenging times, we often think we're going through the worst time ever.

And when we're in the middle of adversity, we think it never ends. That's why we always say things like, "my life is over!"

No, you're not dramatic. It's just one of our thinking errors. It's difficult for us to judge a crisis while we're in it.

In hindsight, it's much easier. We can look back and think, "I survived that. I will survive other difficult things in the future."

But when we face illness, financial problems, or adversity in our relationships, we're quick to think it's THE END. And once we get stuck in a negative thinking pattern, we lose motivation.

And what happens when we lose motivation? Right, we give up.

So how can we get over that? How can we stay motivated during tough times? After going through a lot of adversity (personally and professionally) myself, I've learned a few things about staying motivated.

Comment: More gems from Jordan Peterson - Life is suffering, so get your act together!



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Bulb

End of life dreams and visions may illuminate dying

Gary Rotstein
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Mon, 02 Jul 2018 19:42 UTC
Beth Roncevich a nurse for UMPC Family Hospice and Palliative care
© Stephanie Strasburg/Post-GazetteBeth Roncevich, a nurse for UMPC Family Hospice and Palliative care, has had experiences with patients and her own father who were comforted by visions in their final days, often of previously deceased loved ones.
Beth Roncevich's father was in his last few days of life, lying in bed in his Indiana Township home with her and her mother somberly by his side.

Though his eyes were closed while terminally ill from lung disease on that day four years ago, laughter unexpectedly emerged from Albin Langus.

"I said 'Dad, what are you laughing at?' He said, 'Oh, we're all together.' "

Comment:

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Boat

On the acceptance of life's disappointments

Quintus Curtius
Qcurtius
Sat, 28 Jul 2018 18:46 UTC
sailboat on sea
© Jean Désiré Gustave Courbet
There is no man who can boast of having enjoyed an unbroken string of successes. The variability of Fortune, a pervasive theme in these pages, is a force of nature that ensures success will be liberally interspersed by failure. So it seems to me that we ought to spent just as much time-perhaps even more time-in equipping ourselves with the tools needed to deal with defeats and disappointments, than we do in preparing ourselves for short-lived victory parades. The seasoned, mature mind will wave to the crowd, and enjoy his moment of reflected glory, remembering all the while that dejection is waiting for him just around the next corner. I believe it was Theodore Roosevelt who said that, nearly as soon as man passes through the triumphal arches of his victory parade, the crowd will be ready to pelt him in the back with bricks. And this is undoubtedly true.

Most of the problem lies in the fact that we are creatures of expectancy. Anticipation of glory tricks our minds into believing that glory has already arrived. The riches that might require years of sustained effort to acquire will often seem closer than they really are, tantalizing our minds and oppressing our focus on what matters at the present moment. That which we desire, we believe we are owed. Herodotus (I.187-190) tells us of a Babylonian queen named Nitocris who sought to make this very point as her final statement to the living. He says that the queen constructed a tomb for herself over one of the main gateways leading into Babylon, so that it towered over the entrance that people walked through. On the outside of the tomb she had inscribed the following words:
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SOTT Logo Radio

SOTT Focus: The Truth Perspective: The Great Debate: Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson's Epic 4-Night Battle of Ideas

Harrison Koehli and Corey Schink
Sott.net
Sat, 28 Jul 2018 16:00 UTC
Jordan Peterson speaks to an audience of nearly 3,000 in Portland on June 25, 2018
Jordan Peterson speaks to an audience of nearly 3,000 in Portland on June 25, 2018
Jordan Peterson and Sam Harris meet to debate what it would take to create universal morality. Brett Weinstein joins as moderator, putting the entire discussion into context. That context? That society's 'sense-making mechanisms' are breaking down. The worldview offered by the news media, universities, churches, and government has proven to be a house of cards that cannot stand scrutiny. Inquiring minds find only more and greater confusion. Moral chaos has ensued. How can we find our way out?

Sam Harris, author of The End of Faith and The Moral Landscape, argues that humanity, caught between dogmatic fundamentalism on one side and postmodern nihilism on the other, must forge a new morality based on facts derived from science. Jordan Peterson argues that the very human psyche, evolutionarily, neurobiologically, and only then culturally speaking, has a specific structure, and that this is the 'beast' we must contend before defining any sort of universal moral theory.

Today on the Truth Perspective we share our thoughts on the first two nights of debate, what we think each speaker gets right, where they're vague, and what might provide the solution to their disagreements.

Listen to the Harris/Peterson talks here: night 1, night 2, night 3, night 4.

Running Time: 01:28:33

Download: MP3

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People 2

Are the guilt-prone more trustworthy?

Karen Foster
Prevent Disease
Mon, 23 Jul 2018 13:41 UTC
lonely man
New research from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business finds that when it comes to predicting who is most likely to act in a trustworthy manner, one of the most important factors is the anticipation of guilt.

While some people can tell the difference between feeling angry and guilty, others may not be able to separate the two. It turns out your mother was right: guilt is a powerful motivator.

Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person believes or realizes--accurately or not--that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a universal moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation.

It's accurate to think of guilt as an internal state. In the overall scheme of emotions, guilt is in the general category of negative feeling states. It's one of the "sad" emotions, which also include agony, grief, and loneliness. But it's not really negative at all. In fact it can lead to many positive aspects of ourselves, especially if we reprogram ourselves.
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People

Study of hundreds of nuns and monks reveals personality trait that cuts Alzheimer's risk in half


PsyBlog
Tue, 24 Jul 2018 16:30 UTC
monk hands
Being conscientious cuts the risk of developing Alzheimer's disease in half, research finds.

People who are conscientious tend to be more organised, responsible and in control of their impulses.

The study's authors explain:
"Conscientiousness (eg, "I am a productive person who always gets the job done") refers to a tendency to be self-disciplined, scrupulous, and purposeful."

Comment: See also:

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People 2

Research suggests talk therapy could permanently change depressive personality traits

Jeremy Dean
PsyBlog
Sun, 22 Jul 2018 00:00 UTC
talk therapy, depression
Around 13% of the population has depressive personality traits - but they do not have to be permanent.

Talking therapies can help to change depressive personality traits, research finds.

Although personality is sometimes thought of as fixed, psychotherapy can actually change it.

Around 13% of the population have depressive personality traits - but they do not have to be permanent.

Comment: More information on ways to alleviate depression:

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Flashlight

Avoid these common traps that can lead to unhappiness

Dr. Travis Bradberry
LinkedIn
Tue, 17 Jul 2018 00:00 UTC
traps, mousetraps
Almost every action we take in life is aimed at achieving or maintaining "happiness" - that elusive state where we feel contentment, satisfaction, and even bliss.

Still, happiness can be a bit hard to define. Unhappiness, on the other hand, is easy to identify; you know it when you see it, and you definitely know when it's taken ahold of you.

Happiness has much less to do with life circumstances than you might think. A University of Illinois study found that people who earn the most (more than $10 million annually) are only a smidge happier than the average Joes and Janes who work for them.

Life circumstances have little to do with happiness because much happiness is under your control - the product of your habits and your outlook on life. Psychologists from the University of California who study happiness found that genetics and life circumstances only account for about 50% of a person's happiness. The rest is up to you.
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