Science of the SpiritS


People 2

The one word that can ruin an apology

Cari Romm
Science of Us
Tue, 31 Jan 2017 18:23 UTC
old movie
© Vintage Images/Getty Images
The upside of apologizing is pretty obvious: You patch things up, you offload your guilt, and you move on from any tension or awkwardness that's been plaguing your relationship with the person you hurt.

But the worst part of apologizing is obvious, too: It's deeply uncomfortable. No one likes to talk about how they screwed up, nor does anyone enjoy making themselves vulnerable. Which means that we often make clumsy attempts to get to the good stuff without the requisite unpleasantness, offering up a non-apology that doesn't require you to acknowledge any hard truths, but doesn't really smooth things over, either. In a New York Times column earlier this week, writer Jane Brody highlighted one easy way to render an apology ineffective: Using the word "but." As in, "I'm sorry, but ..."

"Offering an apology is an admission of guilt that admittedly leaves people vulnerable," Brody wrote, citing therapist Harriet Lerner's recent book Why Won't You Apologize? (Science of Us has previously interviewed Lerner about how rushing to forgiveness can be worse than holding a grudge, another topic covered in her book). Adding a "but" to the end, then, is "an excuse that counters the sincerity of the original message. The best apologies are short and don't include explanations that can undo them."

Comment: A Perfect Apology: Acknowledgment of responsibility and fixing what is wrong

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Family

Having a purpose in life makes you healthier

Teal Burrell
Prevent Disease
Wed, 01 Feb 2017 18:09 UTC
eclipse woman
It helps prevent heart attack and stroke, staves off dementia, enables people to sleep better, have better sex and live longer. Oh, and it's free.

Something to live for. This simple idea is at the heart of our greatest stories, driving our heroes on. It is the thread from which more complex philosophies are woven. As Nietzsche once wrote, "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how".

As human beings, it is hard for us to shake the idea that our existence must have significance beyond the here and now. Life begins and ends, yes, but surely there is a greater meaning. The trouble is, these stories we tell ourselves do nothing to soften the harsh reality: as far as the universe is concerned, we are nothing but fleeting and randomly assembled collections of energy and matter. One day, we will all be dust.

One day, but not yet. Just because life is ultimately meaningless doesn't stop us searching for meaning while we are alive. Some seek it in religion, others in a career, money, family or pure escapism. But all who find it seem to stumble across the same thing -- a thing psychologists call "purpose".

Comment: Helping others can protect you from the stress of getting lost in your own problems

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Butterfly

Near death experience reports include timeless review of life and other perspectives

Laura Donnelly
The Telegraph
Sun, 29 Jan 2017 10:08 UTC
brain alive
© ALAMYResearchers said the parts of the brain which store memory were the last affected by trauma such as oxygen or blood loss
Your life really does flash before your eyes when you die, a study suggests - with the parts of the brain that store memories last to be affected as other functions fail.

Research on those who have had "near death" experiences suggests that the phenomenon rarely involves flashbacks in chronological order, as happens in Hollywood films.

Participants said that there was rarely any order to their life memories and that they seemed to come at random, and sometimes simultaneously.

Often, the mind played tricks - with people reliving their own experiences from the point of view of others who had been involved.

Comment: Could it be that all life is lessons, and those lessons are reviewed upon death when one reaches a timeless/spaceless 'rest zone'?

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Info

Loneliness actually hurts us on a cellular level

Brian Resnick
Vox
Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:48 UTC
loneliness
Loneliness is a vicious cycle. The more isolated we are, the more threatened we feel. The more threatened we feel, the more we seek isolation.
"Humans are social animals" is a phrase often repeated by psychologists to sum up why we've been such a successful species. Our ability to live, work, and cooperate in groups is the key to our survival.

But it comes with a tradeoff. Companionship is an asset for human survival, but its mirror twin, isolation, can be toxic.

Loneliness is associated with higher blood pressure and heart disease — it literally breaks our hearts. A 2015 meta-review of 70 studies showed that loneliness increases the risk of your chance of dying by 26 percent. (Compare that to depression and anxiety, which is associated with a comparable 21 percent increase in mortality.)

Comment: Loneliness: The deadly truth

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Family

Human connection and its profound role to addiction (VIDEO)

Amanda Froelich
True Activist
Fri, 27 Jan 2017 00:00 UTC
addiction connection
Everything we thought we knew about addiction is wrong.

It's easy to judge others based on the types of addictions they might form to various substances, including caffeine, alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, and even food. What most people don't understand, however, is that there are deep, underlying reasons some are more prone to becoming addicts than others.

The following animated video, which was created by Kurzgesagt - In a Nutshell and is adapted from Johann Hari's New York Times best-selling book 'Chasing The Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs', explains why everything we, as a society, thought we knew about addiction is wrong.
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Hearts

Parkinson's patients improve with group drumming

Sayer Ji
Greenmedinfo.com
Wed, 18 Jan 2017 18:09 UTC
drum circle
A new study published in the journal Movement Disorders Clinical Practice reveals that group drumming improves the condition of those with Parkinson's disease; a condition largely considered by conventional medical authorities to be irreversible and lethal.

Drumming has been an integral part of traditional healing rituals worldwide since time immemorial. In fact, in a previous article, entitled 6 Ways Drumming Heals Body, Mind, and Soul, we explore the evolutionary roots of drumming behavior (percussive musicality) that goes so far back in time, as to be found in other species, such as chimpanzees and even insects.

Recently, there has been renewed interest in drumming as a therapeutic intervention in a wide range of disease; a development, no doubt, related to the failure of conventional, drug-based therapies to decelerate in any meaningful way chronic diseases. But more specifically, drumming may be an ideal therapeutic modality for addressing psychospiritual and emotional issues that are difficult, or we would say, impossible to treat chemically; that is to say, if we mean by "treat" heal, and not simply suppress symptoms. Learn more by reading our recent report, "Group Drumming Better Than Prozac, Study Suggest."
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Brain

Split brain study reveals surprising new insight

Bruce B. Vanderburg
Reliawire
Wed, 25 Jan 2017 22:07 UTC
corpus collosum
The established view that so-called split-brain patients have a split consciousness is being challenged by a new study offering evidence to the contrary. University of Amsterdam researchers report that despite being characterised by little to no communication between the right and left brain hemispheres, a split brain does not cause two independent conscious perceivers in one brain.

Split brain refers to the result of a corpus callosotomy, a surgical procedure first performed in the 1940s to alleviate severe epilepsy among patients. During this procedure, the corpus callosum, a bundle of neural fibres connecting the left and right cerebral hemispheres, is severed to prevent the spread of epileptic activity between the two brain halves.

While mostly successful in relieving epilepsy, the procedure also virtually eliminates all communication between the cerebral hemispheres, thereby resulting in a 'split brain'.

TWIN CONSCIOUSNESS

This condition was made famous by the work of Nobel laureate Roger Sperry and Michael Gazzaniga. In their canonical work, Sperry and Gazzaniga discovered that split-brain patients can only respond to stimuli in the right visual field with their right hand and vice versa.
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People 2

Extreme agreeing: The unexpected way to win an argument


PsyBlog
Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:53 UTC
argument
Don't just contradict them — try a more radical approach. Extreme agreeing could be the answer to getting people to change their minds, psychological research suggests.

The natural reaction when arguing with someone is to contradict them. However, showing people a very extreme version of their own deeply held opinions can make them think again.

It seems that the absurdity of extreme agreeing helps to foster a rethink.
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Music

Addressing memory loss with music & meditation

Josh Richardson
Prevent Disease
Tue, 24 Jan 2017 00:37 UTC
music
Meditation training programs can have measurable effects on how the brain functions even when someone is not actively meditating. The effects are even more pronounced with music. In a recent study of adults with early memory loss, a West Virginia University research team lead by Dr. Kim Innes found that practice of a simple meditation or music listening program may have multiple benefits for older adults with preclinical memory loss.

Published research has demonstrated that the practice of regular meditation can increase brain density, boost connections between neurons, decrease symptoms of depression and anxiety, provide clarity of thought, and increase positive mood endorphins. Other published studies have shown meditation can improve physical functioning, decrease chronic disease risks, and enhance overall quality of life.

In this randomized controlled trial, 60 older adults with subjective cognitive decline (SCD), a condition that may represent a preclinical stage of Alzheimer's disease, were assigned to either a beginner meditation (Kirtan Kriya) or music listening program and asked to practice 12 minutes/day for 12 weeks. As detailed in a paper recently published by the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease, both the meditation and music groups showed marked and significant improvements in subjective memory function and objective cognitive performance at 3 months. These included domains of cognitive functioning most likely to be affected in preclinical and early stages of dementia (e.g., attention, executive function, processing speed, and subjective memory function). The substantial gains observed in memory and cognition were maintained or further increased at 6 months (3 months post-intervention).

Comment: Listening to music enhances activity of genes involved in learning and memory while down-regulating genes associated with neurodegeneration

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People

How Does Personality Affect Your Level of Happiness?

Kira M. Newman
Berkeley University of California
Wed, 25 Jan 2017 18:30 UTC
happy memory, couple in love
According to a new study, the relationship between happiness and personality is more complex than we thought.

Extraverts are happier, and so are the emotionally stable, personality researchers tell us. It also pays to be more open to new experiences, more agreeable, and more conscientious. What does that mean for the rest of us—the introverts, the neurotics, the disorganized?

You may recognize these personality dimensions as part of the Big Five, the traits that researchers are often referring to when they talk about personality. According to a 2008 review, the Big Five explain anywhere from 39 to 63 percent of the variation in well-being between people.

That's enough to be discouraging, if you don't fall into one of the "beneficial" categories. But don't lose heart yet, the authors of a new study say. Each Big Five domain can be divided into two "aspects"—enthusiasm and assertiveness rather than simply "extraversion," for example—and, it turns out, one of each pair is more predictive of well-being than the other.

Comment: Further reading:

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