Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


RT's audience are 'socially inferior', its 'pundits' cranks and fanatics

© RT
Hooray for RT UK!
As RT UK launches, attacks on the channel in the British media have stepped up...

The latest is a piece by Mr. Cyril Waugh-Monger, a very important newspaper columnist for the NeoCon Daily, a patron of the Senator Joe McCarthy Appreciation Society and author of 'Why the Iraq War was a Brilliant Idea' and 'The Humanitarian Case for Bombing Syria.'

Dear socially inferior person reading this article. My name is Cyril Waugh-Monger (I'm called 'Mr Terribly Pompous Neo-Con' by my friends) and I'm here to tell you why on no account should you watch RT and why you should be making complaints to Ofcom about this dreadful channel so that in the interests of 'free speech' and 'democracy' we can get it off air.

1. RT doesn't peddle Russophobia

Outrageously, RT doesn't compare Vladimir Putin to Adolf Hitler. It doesn't join in with the demonization of Russia and its leader. How can we have a channel which is watched by people in Britain, which doesn't do that? We neocons say that demonization of Russia and its leader is compulsory. How dare RT not do as we say!

Comment: Keep watching the MSM!
© Unknown


Sarah Palin wrote a bunch of stupid words about some moronic thing for some dumb reason again

© facebook
Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin - the recurrent infection given to America by John McCain during his presidential campaign that crashed and burned like it was just another plane given to him by the Navy - is flaring up again.

Haven't we suffered enough already for whatever it was that we did, particularly if we didn't mean to do it, whatever it was?

Apparently not.

Okay. Now what, Sarah?

When we last heard from the matriarch of the Rock-em Sock'em Drunk'en Palin Partycrashers, she was very upset at America for laughing at her daughters who are apparently easily tipped over after a Zima or nine. Having thoroughly harangued the American media for lamestream "reporting" so-called "police reports" and "transcripts" of her daughter drunk-babbling "word-like sounds" at police officers, Palin has turned her disapproving eye on that colored Obamerbola guy for talking shit about someone's mom.

According to Sarah - who is the mother of either four or five children depending upon whether you're Andrew Sullivan or not - Oebolabunglermomhater, "Declares Stay-at-Home Moms Aren't Worth a Hill of Beans; Says It's a Choice 'We Don't Want Americans to Make"

Comment: Comedians like George Carlin and John Stewart need to analyze the words and deeds of politician and the media to expose the truth in a entertaining way. Clowns like Sarah Palin just need to open their mouths to expose their stupidity. Can we say how fortunate we are she was not elected as vice president, though nothing new came out of Bushama other than continued warmongering?


Man robs 4 Subways in 4 days because "Jared Diet" didn't work

© Hueytown Police
Zachary Torrance
The man was recognized by someone who saw a video of the robberies on Facebook.

A man who robbed four Subway restaurants in four days with a gun claims he did it because he was mad the "Jared Diet" didn't work for him.

Zachary Torrance, 18, was arrested Friday by Hueytown police after someone saw surveillance videos on the Hueytown Police Department's Facebook page and recognized Torrance from having witnessed him purchase a gun holster at a Walmart. Police say he was even wearing the same clothing and shoes as the suspect was the day of the robbery.

"He stated in the course of his interview he had tried the 'Jared Diet' and it hadn't worked for him like he thought it should have," Police Chief Chuck Hagler told WJBF. "He was trying to get his money back."


Florida man tried to steal chainsaw by sneaking it underneath shirt

© St. Lucie County Jail
Anthony Brian Ballard
Police charged homeless man and chainsaw-thief Anthony Brian Ballard with grand theft.

Police say a homeless man was arrested Thursday for trying to steal a chainsaw by stuffing it under his shirt.

WPTV reports that Anthony Brian Ballard was charged with grand theft by police in Port St. Lucie, Fla., after authorities accused him of stealing the tool.

Ballard is said to have entered a lawn maintenance store and asked to break a dollar into change. He then placed a chainsaw under his shirt and left the store without paying.

After fleeing on a bicycle, Ballard was eventually found by an employee from the business, who tracked the 28-year-old man down and held him until police arrived. The chainsaw was recovered in a vacant lot nearby.


Bizarre mass pants-ripping at Chinese military reserve training

Chinese military uniforms: with a new twist on "fatigues."
Chinese media is abuzz with serious concerns about the combat effectiveness of China's military as it was revealed that, at a recent college military reserve training session, over 100 reservists' camouflage pants simultaneously ripped out of nowhere.

The explosive rippage was apparently triggered when around 4,500 reservists - both men and women - were commanded by a drill instructor to sit down. We can only assume the drill instructor was the Chinese equivalent of R. Lee Ermy, as some of the reservists apparently took his command so seriously that they sat down with enough force to utterly destroy the stitching in their standard issue pants.

Of the 4,500 reservists at the training session, a little over 100 of them suffered catastrophic pants failure. That accounts for approximately 2% of those in attendance and, according to witnesses, the mass pants-ripping event was accompanied by a clearly audible RRRRRIIIIIIPPPPP that we're certain would have made Hanna and/or Barbera fiercely proud.

Despite chuckle-inducing sound effects, concerns are being raised about the general quality of the Chinese military's standard issue camouflage. The pants the trainees were wearing at the time apparently cost around 100 yuan (approx. US$15) - supposedly a somewhat high price to pay for a pair of pants in China.

We certainly hope the Chinese military takes note and changes their provider for fatigues. While we're sure there's nothing wrong with the camo pattern itself, it sort of defeats the purpose of the camouflage when the enemy can hear the thunderous sound of hundreds of pairs of pants tearing as you attempt to flank them.

Comment: Military uniforms "Made in China" - sounds "em-bare-assingly" like a rip off!


George Carlin Way: City block in New York named after legendary comedian

At a public unveiling ceremony today, October 22 at 1:00pm, the 400 block of West 121st street between Morningside Drive and Amsterdam Avenue will officially be co-named "George Carlin Way," after the celebrated comedian, actor and author, George Carlin, who grew up on West 121 Street. Confirmed attendees include Colin Quinn and Keith Olbermann, along with Carlin's daughter Kelly, older brother Patrick, comedian Kevin Bartini, who headed the efforts in the co-naming of street.

The process to get a street named in Carlin's honor begun in June of 2011 and finally became a reality on July 9, 2014 when Mayor DeBlasio signed the law allowing the co-naming to be official. Comedian Bartini would pass by West 121 Street and realized that there was no recognition of one on the communities' most celebrated residents. Bartini researched the process and went into action collecting over 9000 signatures in support of the name changing.

Although George Carlin is the most esteemed alumni of Corpus Christi School located at 529 West 121 Street, just a few doors away from his childhood home, Bartini met staunch opposition by the church, but with overwhelming support from the neighborhood and as well as local council persons, the church dropped their opposition to the bill. Manhattan Community Board 9 Voted 24-4 in support of "George Carlin Way," the bill then went on to the NYC City Council for a final affirming vote.

"The neighborhood my dad grew up in meant the world to him. He often spoke about his friends and life on the streets of "Irish Harlem." I'm so thrilled that the current and future residents of Morningside Heights will know about that connection through the sign that hangs there. Yay for George Carlin Way!!," says daughter Kelly.

Comment: You are missed George!
  • George Carlin and the Illusion of Freedom
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India gets last laugh against America's 'elite space club'

The Orbital Sciences Corporation Antares rocket, with the Cygnus spacecraft onboard suffers a catastrophic anomaly moments after launch from the Mid-Atlantic Regional Spaceport Pad 0A, October 28, 2014, at NASA's Wallops Flight Facility in Virginia.
Following India's successful attempt to put a vehicle in Mars orbit, the New York Times published a cartoon acknowledging the event that some called racist. But India did not have to wait long to issue a comic rebuttal.

On September 24, India's fledgling space program got a historic first: The country's Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) probe achieved the grand finale of its 10-month mission when it entered the Red Planet's gravitational field, thus making India just the fourth country to successfully send a space vehicle into Mars orbit.

The New York Times, however, could not resist taking a cheap shot with a stereotypical cartoon:



Drivers scramble for flying cash on Maryland highway

© File photo
Drivers scrambled to grab money flying around a Maryland highway after an armored truck's door burst open.

Maryland State Police say a lock on the truck seems to have malfunctioned, causing the door to open Friday morning. A bag of cash fell onto Interstate 270 near Urbana and the bills flew in the air.

Police say a number of drivers stopped on the interstate and grabbed what cash they could before a fire department vehicle arrived and turned on its emergency lights.

Responding troopers were able to help the truck's driver recover about $200. It's not known how much cash was lost.


Definitive proof that Nostradamus predicted Star Wars

© Tara Jacoby/Getty
The prophecies of the French astrologer Nostradamus remain famous more than 400 years after his death. He has been credited with predicting events like the French Revolution and World War II. But, after careful scrutiny, we present evidence that his prophecies were, in fact, plot spoilers for the Star Wars films.

Nostradamus' prophecies were written in such vague, metaphorical language, that, over the years, people have selectively quoted and interpreted them to prove that he could see centuries into the future.

But, did it ever occur to anyone that Nostradamus wasn't predicting events, but film plots? More specifically, that Nostradamus, through his visions, saw the entire Star Wars saga before it was even made? We believe his writings were those of an enthusiastic fan and, as proof, we present his prophecies and - for the first time in history - interpret them for what they really are.


Black bears fight on residential street in Rockaway, New Jersery

Watch as these two large predators engage in an epic six-minute long brawl on a residential street in Rockaway, New Jersey

© J Domzalski
Two black bears were recorded wrestling and striking each other with huge blows in the middle of a suburban US town.

The shaky video - recorded from the safety of a car - lasts six minutes and follows the two heavy weights as they brawl their way down the street in Rockaway, New Jersey.

The video was reportedly captured in August but was uploaded to YouTube this month and has gone viral.