Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Nathan the dog goes Gangnam Style for adoption

© YouTube
Greenville - You probably wouldn't want to watch yet another Gangnam Style parody video, there's been so many. But hey, you haven't seen Nathan doing his thing yet. He's the very best so far!

The cutest Chinese Crested dog ever, Nathan is famous for his dancing. A former resident at Bald is Beautiful Dog Rescue, this cute little guy was up for adoption for quite some time.

The good news is, after being fostered in several different homes over the four years of his life and getting the label "unadoptable," this little guy has finally found his forever home with his latest foster mom.

Could be his incredible moves that did the trick, as according to the dog rescue, he just loves to "wiggle it" in the chair for treats!

Pet parrot squeals on drink-driving suspect

Pet parrot squeals on drink-driving suspect
Police in Mexico City said a drunken driving suspect stopped at an alcohol checkpoint was betrayed by his pet parrot, which told police "he's drunk."

Investigators said Guillermo Reyes, 49, was pulled over last week at a routine checkpoint in the city and officers heard a voice in the car repeating "he's drunk, he's drunk," Spanish-language newspaper El Universal reported Tuesday.

Police said they looked inside the vehicle, expecting to find another person, but instead discovered Reyes' pet parrot.

Reyes failed a sobriety test and was arrested on a drunken driving charge. The parrot was supposed to be taken away by Animal Surveillance Brigade officers, but Reyes told them the bird is with him at all times and could suffer stress if separated.

The parrot was allowed to accompany Reyes to jail.
Arrow Down

Society cannot be dumbed down any further say experts - human intelligence on downward trajectory

G I Joe: Retaliation already seems deep
Culture is reaching a point of maximum dumbness, it has been claimed.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies have warned that it will soon be impossible to dumb down news and entertainment media any further.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: "Most television is about cooking, the paranormal or poor people having arguments. The news is just opinions punctuated with pictures of 'extreme weather'.

"The only books being published are ghost-written celebrity biographies or thrillers about serial killers called things like 'The Face Collector'. Apart from that people just read lists of '10 facts about muscle growth' off websites.

"The problem is that although our culture cannot get any stupider, human intelligence may continue on its downward trajectory.

"The result will be a world in which nobody understands anything. Even a film about The Rock driving a jeep into explosions will leave viewers confused and angry at its pretentiousness."

However TV channel boss Mary Fisher said: "Don't worry, I've just commissioned Jamie & Jimmy's Paranormal Antiques Auction Sex News.

"And I'm confident we can go even lower. We must keep striving to find new depths of idiocy."

Tortoise beats rabbit in China pet ski-off

Rabbit and Tortoise
© AFP Photo
A pet rabbit and a pet tortoise take part in a skiing competition for pets and their owners in Sanmenxia, north China's Henan province.
Beijing: A tortoise beat a rabbit in a skiing competition held for pets and their owners in northern China, a report said on Tuesday.

Cats and dogs faced off against a menagerie including a rooster and a yellow duck in a race to the finish line on snowy slopes in China's Hebei province, the state-run China News Service said.

The 40 human competitors were allowed to place their animals on skis or sledges, or could guide the pet with a lead while skiing, the report said.

In an unexpected outcome akin to an ancient Greek fable, a tortoise beat a rabbit, with the shelled reptile eventually claiming third place overall, the report said.

"Because the rabbit loved jumping and didn't follow its owner's commands, it was overtaken by the tortoise," it said.

Crowds flock to cash machine after it starts spewing out free notes

© Getty
Windfall: Dozens of people queued for free money (ATM not pictured)
Around 60 people queued up at the ATM in Mansfield Woodhouse, Notts, before the fault was spotted by bosses and the cash machine put of service

Dozens of people flocked to a cash machine after word spread that it had started giving out free money.

The Lloyds Bank ATM in Mansfield Woodhouse, Notts, malfunctioned and began spewing out notes as customers withdrew cash yesterday morning.

Around 60 people are reported to have queued up at the hole-in-the-wall as word spread of the possible windfall.

The fault was spotted by bosses and the cash machine put of service around 3pm.

A spokesman for Lloyds Bank said investigations had begun into how the error occurred and the group would not be able to provide details on how much cash was taken from the ATM.

It is not thought that individuals who cashed in will not be pursued to reimburse the bank.

The spokesman said: "We're aware that an error occurred with a Lloyds Bank ATM in Mansfield Woodhouse, resulting in the ATM distributing incorrect amounts of cash.

"The ATM is now out of service and the error is being investigated."


Woman at red light hit by car driven by chihuahua

Chihuahua Driving Car!
Spokane, Washington - A woman on her way home from work was hit at a red light by a car with a Chihuahua behind the wheel.

The dog had apparently knocked the parked car out of gear and coasted into traffic.

When the woman looked up to see who had hit her, she couldn't believe what she saw.

"I was shocked. I didn't know if I was crazy, if there was just this little dog that had taken a joyride," said victim Tabitha Ormaechea.

No one was hurt in the accident and the damage was minimal.

Ariel Sharon's burial plot set to displace 15,000 Palestinians

Ariel Sharon
© Inconnu
Following the death of former Israel prime minister Ariel Sharon - who has been in a coma since 2006 - plans for the 85-year-old's state funeral have now been released.

According to arrangements made by the Israeli government, Sharon's burial plot is set to displace over 15,000 Palestinians living in the West Bank. The plot, located on the outskirts of Hebron, will take over land lived and farmed by Arabs for at least four centuries and will be surrounded by a five-metre tall concrete wall with armed sentry posts on each corner. It will also be connected to Israel by a four-lane commemorative highway.

"It's what he would have wanted," said a source.

Comment: Satire, but believable, nonetheless...


Bigfoot is wandering Michigan man's property and eating pizza, he claims in police report

© Andrew Rich via Getty Images
It's a run-of-the-mill case: Man claims assailant vandalized his estate, requests assistance from law enforcement.

Only the accused, in this instance, is Bigfoot, who has allegedly been wandering around a Michigan property for more than a decade, shape-shifting and eating pizza.

On Saturday, a 52-year-old Breckendridge, Mich. man came to the Midland law enforcement center armed with evidence, including photo albums, empty food containers, dirt and alleged Bigfoot scat, to ask for help verifying the existence of the mythical creature, according to a report from the Midland County Sheriff's Office.

Overwhelming number of applicants for Ariel Sharon funeral sign language translator

TEL AVIV: Organisers of the state funeral for former Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon - who passed away earlier today - have revealed that they have been "overwhelmed" by the number of applicants for the position of sign language interpreter.

"Honestly, when we put out the call this afternoon, we thought we'd get a couple of people interested, but the response has been truly remarkable and we've been inundated with applications," said a source from the Israeli Prime Minister's office. "To be honest, I didn't even think there were that many sign language speakers in the region."

Politician quits town council with a resignation letter written in KLINGON

Councillor David Waddell wrote his resignation letter in the fictional language of Star Trek - and quit the council with his honour intact

© Rex
Qapla' (that mean 'success' in Klingon): David Waddell left his council position in style
A politician decided to quit his local council in the most honourable way possible - by submitting his resignation in KLINGON.

David Waddell, a town councillor in Indian Trail, North Carolina, no longer wanted to live long and prosper on the town's council.

He submitted his resignation letter to Mayor Michael Alvarez in the fictional language invented for the race of alien warriors in the Star Trek films and TV series.

The original letter was even written using the Klingon language's pointed characters, rather than the roman alphabet - although he did include a translation in case the Mayor wasn't fluent.

The translation reads: "Teach the city the constitution. I will return next time to witness victory. Resignation occurs in 2014 the 31st of January.

"Perhaps today is a good day to resign."

A complete and comprehensive Klingon language was developed for Star Trek by linguist Marc Okrand. Since then, the Works of Shakespeare and the Bible have been translated into Klingon.