Don't Panic! Lighten Up!

Stock Up

Corporate love: Nike legally adopts thousands of undocumented immigrant children

These newly adopted boys enjoy some arts and crafts time
Beaverton, Oregon - Nike, one of the world's largest shoe and apparel makers, has also proven that it possesses one of the world's largest and most loving hearts by legally adopting over 12,000 undocumented immigrant children who were being detained on the U.S./Mexico border.

The children, most of whom are between ages 6 and 16, came to this country from Central American nations such as Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador seeking better opportunities and a loving family life, which is just what Nike will provide, according to Chairman Phil Knight.

"Nike has always been focused on making children's lives better," says Knight, "Traditionally, we have done that by providing state-of-the art footwear that gives kids a greater sense of self-worth. Now, by adopting these kids, we can do so much more."

Knight says the children will be housed on a compound outside Washington County, where they will be provided with an education and job training.

"We're going to help these kids prepare to be productive members of American society," Knight says, "By the time they reach adulthood they will all have marketable skills."

Knight adds that all the children have legally changed their surnames to Nike, and that their well being will be overseen by a special child welfare division the company has just launched. Knight also says that Nike will be moving all overseas production back to the U.S.
2 + 2 = 4

Teacher: Mother bear helping her cubs get off the highway

Grizzly mother and her two cubs
Grizzly mother helps her children to safety
The video featured in the Telegraph's Weird News Video section has since been posted on YouTube and is generating online buzz.

The Telegraph's article says tornado hunter Ricky Forbes was driving through Kootenay National Park when he spotted a black bear cub sitting dangerously close to the highway.

Dog faints from excitement at reunion with owner after two years

dog faints
Everyone can see the affection dog owners have for their pets because humans have many ways of expressing it. When it comes to the affection dogs have for owners, though, things get a little trickier. People who are familiar with how dogs behave can spot certain things, but there is a world of people out there who wouldn't know a tail wag from a doggy twerk.
Bad Guys

Revealed! The latest sport for the 'psychopaths in power': Putin baiting

Obama and Netanyahu
© Global Research
PSYCHOPATHS IN POWER: With much of the controlled Western media already blaming Putin and Russia on the MH17 tragedy, Obama and Netanyahu discuss the next planned provocation in their sick 'Putin-baiting' sport.
Washington D.C, USA - Just do it Vlad, they want you to pull the trigger, so the next stage can commence.

"Just invade already, we know you want to, what's keeping you Mr Putin? Next you're going to tell us you want multi million dollar holidays every few months and to play golf all the frickin' time," professor of political science, Ian Nesbit from Chickataw University in Washington told Reuters.

"It is plain to see the MH17 shooting is being used as a pawn and a tool in a dirty propaganda war by the West, as the hypocritical Western powers are using the sordid death of civilians to solidify negative press on Russia.

"You don't fly passenger jets over war zones period, secondly, someone gave the order to the pilot to divert course over the war zone, whoever that person or entity was is the real murderer," the professor added.

"Unfortunately, for Uncle Vlad, he is now caught between a rock and a hard place, with the media calling him a 'baby killer' but he must consider this fact, the hypocritical Western hierarchy do not actually care about civilian lives, to them a few hundred civilians on a plane could easily be a bunch of fruit flies. The elite controllers do not see human civilians as anything but little pieces of software or tax fodder so they can live their privileged expense account lifestyles.

"Again, like 911, who benefited from MH17? Cui bono? Not Putin.

"The West has been poking the bear with a stick for a while now, firstly it is the West that provoked Putin by meddling in Ukraine right on Russia's doorstep, this resulted in Russia invading Crimea. The sanctions are further provocations angering the bear further. By backing Putin into a corner, he is an angry bear and he will conduct a full scale invasion soon enough. This is what the West wants."

Meanwhile if anyone has any sense, they won't be boarding a plane that starts with the letters MH any time soon.

Breaking News: God appears in the sky over Norfolk, UK

God-like: This incredible picture was taken on a beach in Norfolk
Nobody can argue there's something heavenly about a cluster of clouds on a summer's day.

And by the look of this stunning picture, that is certainly the case, if you look closely.

Amateur photographer Jeremy Fletcher took this extraordinary photograph which appears to show a God-like bearded man in the clouds.

The 56-year-old took the image during recent turbulent weather conditions and says the clouds momentarily parted at sunset to reveal the image.

Mr Fletcher, of Bray, Berkshire, was in Norfolk for a three-month work attachment took the photograph on an evening stroll along the beach at Snettisham .

"I realised the image looked remarkably like a face of a man with a beard so I took a number of shots on my phone" he said.

Darth Vader is polling higher than presidential candidates for 2016

On Tuesday FiveThirtyEight released the results of a poll of Americans' opinions on the "Star Wars" universe. Not surprisingly, Jar Jar Binks is the most reviled character in the series. As Walt Hickey notes, the Gungan from Naboo posted lower favorability numbers than Emperor Palpatine, "the actual personification of evil in the galaxy."

On the other hand, with a net favorability of -8, Jar Jar is considerably more popular than the U.S. Congress, which currently enjoys a net favorability rating of -65. In fact, the last time congressional net favorability was above that was February 2005. Incidentally this was just before the release date of "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith," which marked Jar Jar's last appearance on the big screen.

But picking on Congress' unpopularity is a bit like beating a dead tauntaun. After all, the legislative branch has been less popular than lice, brussels sprouts and Nickelback for some time now. What if we compared the favorability of 2016 presidential hopefuls and other political leaders with that of "Star Wars" characters?

Hillary Clinton currently has the highest net favorability of any 2016 White House contender. But to put her 19 percent favorable rating in context, she's tied with Boba Fett, the bounty hunter who froze Harrison Ford in carbonite.
Grey Alien

Space program should end because aliens are going to hell anyway sez Creationist Ken Ham

© Rawstory
Creationist Ken Ham has said that the U.S. space program is a waste of money because any alien life that scientists found would be damned to hell.

"I'm shocked at the countless hundreds of millions of dollars that have been spent over the years in the desperate and fruitless search for extraterrestrial life," Ham wrote in a Sunday column on his Answers in Genesis website.

Ham argued that "secularists are desperate to find life in outer space" as a part of their "rebellion against God in a desperate attempt to supposedly prove evolution."

"Life did not evolve but was specially created by God, as Genesis clearly teaches. Christians certainly shouldn't expect alien life to be cropping up across the universe," he continued. "Now the Bible doesn't say whether there is or is not animal or plant life in outer space. I certainly suspect not."

But regardless of whether there was life in outer space, Ham asserted that it could not be truly "intelligent."

'NSA in da house': German artist illuminates US Embassy

The facade of the US embassy is illuminated with a light installation by German artist Oliver Bienkowski showing an image of US President Barack Obama wearing a baseball cap and reading "NSA in da House" in Berlin on early July 19, 2014
German artist, Oliver Bienkowski made a point of criticizing the USA's surveillance program by projecting the words 'NSA in da House' over the walls of the US Embassy in Berlin.

The image featured the US President in a back to front baseball cup, as well as him holding up a sign for peace.

The Friday stunt is not the first time that Bienkowski has tried to ridicule America. Just over a year ago, he projected the words 'United Stasi of America' together with a picture of Kim Dotcom on to the wall of the US embassy in Berlin.

He was making a point of comparing the United States to the notorious East German secret police force. The Stasi employed extensive surveillance tactics against East German citizens during the Cold War, which still holds unpleasant memories for Germans.
Black Cat 2

Smart cat feeder can recognize cat faces

© Discovery
At the risk of upsetting my cat Murphy - who I'm convinced can not only read, but speed-read - here's the latest bulletin from the world of cat feeder facial recognition technology.

The Bistro smart cat feeder, designed by a team called 42ARK out of Taiwan, is the sort of crazy idea that Just Might Work. Currently in crowdfunding stage, the device combines several different technologies to ensure your cat is eating properly.

That's "properly" as defined by humans, not by cats, which is why I just let Murphy outside and am typing this in the closet. Like other automated cat feeders, the Bistro lets owners dispense measured amounts of food when kitty is home alone.

But that's just the beginning. Weight sensors beneath both the food bowl and the platform in front calculate precisely how much food gets eaten. Information is sent wirelessly to the Bistro smartphone app, which logs all dietary data so you monitor or restrict your cat's intake.

Here's the ingenious part: For families with multiple cats, the Bistro incorporates a camera and a facial recognition system to identify which cat is eating what, and when. So if your alpha cat is bullying the others and stealing food, you can bust the furry little devil - with photographic evidence.
Grey Alien

Wierd Al 'goes there' with new parody video

Wow... He totally went there. Watch and you tell me: did you see it coming?