Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S

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Frustrated Ryanair passenger eats โ‚ฌ10,000 winning scratchcard

An angry airline passenger ate a โ‚ฌ10,000 winning scratchcard after he was told he could not claim the money immediately.

The unnamed man was flying with Ryanair from Krakow, in Poland, to East Midlands Airport when he won โ‚ฌ10,000 with the scratch card.

Cabin crew on the flight confirmed he had a winning card, but told the passenger he would have to collect the jackpot directly from the company that runs the competition as they did not have enough cash on board the plane.

Ryanair said the man then became frustrated and started to eat his winning ticket while on the flight on Thursday.

His rash actions mean he has lost any chance of claiming the prize money, which will now be donated to charity.

Shoe

Joke of the day: Psychopath Blair haunted by bloodshed in Iraq

Tony Blair was so depressed after the Iraq war that the then British premier told Gordon Brown he would quit the following summer, only to renege on his pledge, a newspaper reported Sunday.

The physical and mental stress on Blair was so profound that he confided to friends he "spaced out" several times during his weekly session of parliamentary questions, according to a new book serialised in The Observer.

The End of the Party, by political journalist Andrew Rawnsley, claims Blair was haunted by the chaos and bloodshed in Iraq, coupled with the constant pressure from Brown, the then finance minister, to step aside.

Meteor

Space Impact: Meteor Shield lands on Ovi Store

Nokia Game
© Mobiletor.comSpace Impact Game
The sky is set on fire and meteors start to rain down on Earth. Bringing a tour of what's happening in galaxy, Space Impact: Meteor Shield has just landed on planet Ovi Store for Nokia N97 and N97 Mini. Using the Nokia N97's digital compass the virtual world spins with the player.

The concept for the game is a simple arcade affair - players are planet Earth's last hope, and are tasked with taking the controls of a gun turret to protect the world from incoming showers of meteors and alien hordes.

Sheeple

Bill Hicks: You are free, to do as we tell you!

"Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye." - Bill Hicks 1961 - 1994 R.I.P.


Eye 1

Best of the Web: The Love Police - Undercover Anti-Terror Squad

A compilation of clips by the 'Love Police' (Also known as the 'Everything is OK guys').

Mr. Potato

Emergency shipment of condoms headed to Olympic athletes

Rowdy curling crowds; spontaneous street parties; public drunkeness. You don't have to look far for evidence that the crowds at Winter Games in Vancouver know how to have a good time.

And, as if anymore proof is needed that a wild Olympic atmosphere permeates B.C.'s largest city, now there's an apparent condom shortage.

That's right. As you read this, an emergency shipment of condoms is desperately making its way across Canada to the West Coast city.

Attention

Warning to Miss Piggy: Cover that cleavage!

Image

Colorado Springs, Colorado - Puppet cleavage has been ruled out for advertising posters in Colorado Springs bus shelters.

Lamar Advertising rejected posters for a touring production of the Broadway show Avenue Q because they show the cleavage of a fuzzy pink puppet.

Lamar account executive Jeff Moore said the company takes a conservative approach in Colorado Springs. The city is known for its political conservatism, and some conservative Christian groups have their headquarters there.

Mr. Potato

New Jersey: Escaped Cat Holds Up Airport Security

Newark - Officials at a New Jersey airport said a security checkpoint was closed temporarily when a 25-pound cat crawled under an X-ray machine.

Newark Liberty International Airport said passengers in Terminal A were redirected to different checkpoints and the woman who owned the cat missed her flight after the heavy tabby crawled into the 4-inch gap between the machine and the floor and refused to come out at about 6:30 a.m. Tuesday, The (Newark) New Jersey Star-Ledger reported Wednesday.

Port Authority police said the cat was let out of its carrier so the container could be screened, but the startled cat got away from its owner and hid under the machine. The officers said they used a hydraulic device to lift the CTX explosive-detection machine and free the cat about 20 minutes after the start of the incident.

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Jon Stewart 'proves' Glenn Beck is a commie

What's that saying about glass houses?

It turns out that a popular Fox News host may owe his career to the very socialist policies that he is paid to condemn (not that this should be any kind of news flash).

Fox's Glenn Beck took the stage at CPAC Saturday where he railed against socialism and progressivism. On Monday, Jon Stewart "uncovered" the truth: Beck educated himself at public libraries paid for with socialist taxes.