Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Mr. Potato

Michigan Man Claims He's Cockroach King

A Michigan man says he expects Guinness World Records to award him the world record for fitting the most cockroaches in his mouth.

Sean Murphy of Lansing, whose age was not reported, said it likely will be weeks until he officially learns whether the 16 Madagascar hissing cockroaches he held in his mouth for 10 seconds will be recognized as a world record, the Lansing State Journal reported Sunday.

Murphy apparently broke the record of 11 cockroaches Friday night by holding 12 in his mouth for the mandated 10 seconds. Then he sought to extend his unofficial record to 16.

"I've never gotten it in one try so that was a big surprise," he said of his unusual feat.

Murphy told the State Journal his days of putting cockroaches in his mouth are not yet behind him.

Mr. Potato

George W. Bush set to become motivational speaker

george bush

He left office with the US embroiled in two wars, a Great Recession and with his approval rating a toxic 22 per cent. So the next stage in his career is obvious. George W Bush - who last year inspired millions of people to vote Democrat - is about to become a highly-paid motivational speaker.

On Monday the former Republican President will appear as the headline speaker on the popular Get Motivated seminar programme, which describes itself as an "action-packed, fun-filled, explosive, exciting, inspiring, skill-building business event that is world famous for its mega-watt superstar speakers and spectacular stage production." He will appear again in San Antonio in December.

The Forth Worth event, in Mr Bush's home state of Texas, will also feature Colin Powell, the former Secretary of State, Rudy Giuliani, the former New York Mayor, and Rick Belluzzo, a former Microsoft executive.

The Get Motivated programme has been a huge business success, but the appearance of Mr Bush at a seminar about, among other things, "How to Master the Art of Effective Leadership" has produced guffaws.

Smiley

US: For Alabama man, XXXXXXX license plate marks spot for ticket-magnet

"Racer X's" vanity plate just does not compute in city computers - and it's helped him rack up about $19,000 in tickets in Birmingham, Ala.

Scottie Roberson bought a vanity plate with seven X's to pay homage to his racer nickname. But that causes a bit of a snafu when parking patrols put the plate into the system. Officials usually put seven X's in place of the number for cars without license plates.

Roberson said the mix-up has led him to get as many as 10 tickets in a day.

Mr. Potato

Switzerland: Police Stop Driver for 15 Violations in 11 Minutes

Authorities say an Italian man took reckless driving to new heights in 11 frantic minutes of traffic violations in eastern Switzerland.

They say they first spotted the 47-year-old driver as he sped his jeep past an unmarked police car at 160 kph (100 mph) in a rainstorm Sunday.

Driving dangerously close to other cars on the autobahn, he then allegedly ignored police attempts to pull him over - first with a stop sign, and then with flashing lights and sirens.

Police say the man drove through a construction zone at 140 kmh (87 mph), nearly twice the speed limit, before being stopped.

They seized the man's driver's license, and a judge ordered him tested for medications and illegal drugs.

Smiley

Do the Global Handwashing dance!


Tokyo, Japan - Today, millions of children and adults in over 80 countries are marking the second annual Global Handwashing Day with special events and activities. As part of this effort, UNICEF Japan and its partners have launched a project to promote handwashing among children in Japan and around the world.

Smiley

Bear Run! Black Bear Chills in Wisconsin Beer Cooler

Shoppers in a Wisconsin grocery store got an unexpected surprise when a 125-pound black bear wandered inside and headed straight for the beer cooler.

The bear stopped Friday night at Marketplace Foods in Hayward, about 140 miles northeast of Minneapolis, sauntering through the automatic doors and heading straight for the liquor department.

It calmly climbed up 12 feet onto a shelf in the beer cooler where it sat for about an hour while employees helped evacuate customers and summoned wildlife officials.

Officials from the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources tranquilized the animal and took it out of the store.

Fish

Jellyfish Pay the Penalty in Ocean Version of Football

bottlenose dolphins
© newsteam / Sea Watch FoundationThe bottlenose dolphins, which were off the Welsh coastline at the time, were caught on video for the first time playing jellyfish football.
Scientists working off the Welsh coastline have made an astonishing discovery - dolphins playing football using jellyfish as a ball.

A team of marine biologists working in Cardigan Bay were amazed to see dolphins swim under a jellyfish and, with a sudden flick of their tails, shoot it out of the water.

The wild bottlenose dolphins were caught on video at Tremadog Bay for the first time playing "jellyfish football".

And - in an impressive aquatic bid to bend it like Beckham - one dolphin is seen flipping the barrel jellyfish as high as six feet into the air.

Experts believe the game goes back hundreds of thousands of years and that it may go some way towards explaining why dolphins in captivity are so skillful with balls at sea life parks across the world.

Sheeple

Massachusetts Town Using Goats as Lawn Mowers

Officials in Andover, Massachusetts, say they are using goats to keep one of the town's public meadows trimmed, even as they trim a bit of government spending.

Bob Decelle, special projects manager for the Andover Conservation Commission, said by allowing six goats to eat their fill of the grass at a public meadow, the town is saving money and helping the environment, The Boston Globe reported Saturday.

"Everyone benefits," Decelle said. "The town benefits, the goats benefit, and the environment benefits."

Instead of using town funds to hire people to mow the 3-acre meadow with heavy equipment, the town has dairy goat club leader Lucy McKain bring the goats to the site each day for an all-natural buffet.

"They're very good browsers," McKain said. "It's a win-win. It's pretty neat."

Telephone

Netherlands: Rotterdam installs 'cynicism hotline'

The city of Rotterdam is encouraging its civil servants to report 'cynical' colleagues.

Since last week civil servants in Rotterdam can report ill-tempered colleagues to an online 'cynicism' hotline. The city says the move is part of a drive to improve the working environment.

Smiley

An Open Letter to Rep. Alan Grayson in Defense of Neanderthals

Dear Rep. Grayson,

Although I applaud your stand on health care and you efforts to take the offensive against the Republicans, I do have to take exception to your characterization of Republicans as "...foot-dragging, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals..." This is a gross mischaracterization of Neanderthals on several levels. First, Neanderthals did not drag their feet or knuckles. They walked in a fully erect bipedal fashion just like you or I do. Second, Neanderthals took care of their sick or injured fellows. Take Shanidar I for example: