© The Babylon Bee"So much more comfortable!"
"This is awkward," Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel said when he noticed dozens of senators wearing the same exact thing. "One of us has got to change."
Officially, loosening the Senate's informal dress code was motivated by a need to accommodate Sen John Fetterman's famous hoodie and sweatpants. However, sources confirm Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer had an ulterior motive — he prefers the comfort and convenience of a hospital gown.
"I wear the gown under my normal clothes so I can change into them quickly. Like a superhero," Schumer said. "But now I can drop the facade and just be me. It's loose-fitting so you can have easy access to my backside to administer vaccines, suppositories, and other medications. It's great!"
Bernie Sanders confirmed that the new dress code allows him to live a truth he previously hid from the world. "The gown is open in the back. It's very breezy, which I like," he said. "Ooooo, I feel it now."
Sen Lindsey Graham, however, bucked the hospital gown trend by dressing in drag. "It's time for Lindsey Graham 3.0!" he said. "Fabuloooouuuus!"
At publishing time, the policy had been quickly reversed after Rand Paul showed up in his buffalo hat.
Reader Comments
The quick head-of-state succession in the last decade of the Soviet Union is legend, mostly for biological reasons.
I have a hunch this will not be the only eery similiarity between the final days of the Soviet Union and the contemporary US ...
What is the narrative? The senate is showing its inclusivity. The reality, the senate is mostly crime family puppets that don't want the media seeing Fetterman is multiple actors.