In our TODAY Moms and Parenting.com poll of more than 26,000 mothers, one in five admitted to giving their children medicine such as Benadryl or Dramamine to get through a big event, like a long car ride or plane trip.
More disturbing: One in 12 moms confessed to regularly dosing their kids with sleep-inducing medication, just to get some peace and quiet on a normal night.
Moms wrote to us anonymously:
"I give my younger daughter Benadryl and Tylenol almost every night - she loves the taste and begs for it.""I suspect that one in five is low," said Dr. Nancy Snyderman, NBC's chief medical editor, who says parents should talk to their pediatricians about proper dosage. (She adds that every doctor she knows who's also a parent has tried this trick at some point, so don't feel shy about telling your doctor.)
"I gave my child Benadryl to go to sleep - years later now, I am still embarrassed to admit it."
"I gave my child Benadryl when he was mildly congested to guarantee he would fall asleep on time so I could get to bed at a decent hour."
A hit of Benadryl before a long trip is pretty standard practice, though it may not win you Mother of the Year award (except maybe from your fellow passengers on a cross-country flight).
"The biggest risk is overdose or an adverse reaction," Snyderman said.
Of course, there are other dangers: "Not all kids get drowsy on Benadryl," Snyderman noted. "My kids used to get hyper on it. So it can backfire."
But turning to medication just to get your kid to sleep indicates a deeper problem. "Every day is not OK. Drugs are never an OK substitute for parenting," Snyderman said. "If a mother is drugging a kid that much, it's a parenting issue."
So, what's going on here? For the most part, it's desperation, not malice. Moms are so starved for a little downtime that they're resorting to extreme and maybe even unsafe measures at the end of a long day. Elsewhere in our survey, moms told us how they crave peace and quiet:
- 23 percent miss alone time more than anything else from their pre-baby life; 14 percent miss sleep the most.
- 53 percent would rather have a night of uninterrupted sleep rather than a night of mind-blowing sex.
- 30 percent use their jobs to avoid child care (not that work is peaceful or quiet - but sometimes it feels that way, compared to a house full of kids).
"Moms are so nervous - what if she doesn't get to sleep, then she'll be tired and she has a math test tomorrow and then after the math test we have to go right to soccer practice..." Mogel told TODAY.com, her voice trailing off to indicate the never-ending to-do list that lives in every mom's mind. "We're taking shortcuts because parents are desperate."
Besides the health concerns, Mogel said, the problem is that by medicating kids to sleep, moms are depriving them of the chance to learn how to calm down and put themselves to sleep.
"We're not giving them a chance to learn how to manage themselves," Mogel said. Ironically, that just escalates the stress cycle for the moms, because when your 8-year-old can't fall asleep on his own, whose problem is that? You guessed it, mom to the rescue. Moms feel overwhelmed because they are overwhelmed -- they're doing more for their kids than they should be, Mogel said, and medicating them to sleep is just one example.
Reader Comments
Carefully, and minimally, medicating a child for a trans-Pacific flight may be in the child's best interest. 14 hours in a small space with strangers and unable to sleep is an extremely stressful experience for the young...
I can't tell you how many couples I know that opt for a 7pm or thereabouts bedtime for their children. While I understand the desire for peace and quiet after a day's paper shuffling, I feel that my kids need not only a solid family dinnertime, but also several hours of time interacting with siblings and family. That doesn't mean same room as parents, or other siblings, all the time every night. But it does mean vicinity and within the control/influence of the family unit.
I don't have problem children. I don't know what that's about so I cannot make an accurate comment about it. I do know that all of my children have their own quirks, they all get uppity from time to time, but they all react well to expectation. It's not about conditioning in the basic sense. It's honoring the family and the human being one stands before, or for. I also, as a dad, had the opportunity (which I asked for, and was given) to raise both of my boys sans day care or preschool, and it has worked well for both. I also have 100% control over grocery and kitchen/cooking, with a blessed wife as my partner and the bread maker.
My children are different from one another, and imperfect, but they are respectful and knowing. They are beings of love and that is more important than anything else.
IMHO it is quintessential to deny any un-natural substance to enter any hole in your head unless absolutely necessary. The necessity of that is determined by individual and parent. Pharmaceutical chemical agents have no other purpose than treating symptoms, ad infinitum. For every chemical agent produced in a factory, there are natural substitutes that are more effective, have no side effects, and actually aid the body in a cure of the the underlying dis-ease. If you don't believe this, then go ahead and send your child to a well paid scientific clinician, or doctor as you may know them.
Many a lab rat has...