The war on people who are working harder than us.

That's right folks, the U.S. is officially peeved at China. Why? Because they work harder than us. At the core of the issue is all of the jobs going to China, the U.S. is essentially whining because...They're making us look like bums. Never mind, of course, that it is our own U.S. Corporations who have outsourced these jobs to make higher profits off of us selling Chinese made goods back to us, while stealing our jobs.

Power outage at Cleveland Airport. This is big news because: Anything that happens at an Airport should be reported to everyone, and it should scare you. If this doesn't get blamed on some random dude who was supposed to be on a no-fly list but magically made it through airport security to an employees only area after getting into the country without a passport or airplane ticket, then we'll probably blame it on China.

The housing market still hasn't hit bottom. Probably because the Bush administration's main economic strategy was more or less to tie a giant rock to the housing markets feet and drop it off the nearest pier. Tonight the housing market sleeps with the fishes.

Apparently people sell blood. One, Two, Three billion, mwaahaha! Cerberus Capital pulled down 1.8 billion dollars by buying blood from people and then selling it at a massive markup. They went even as far as caching the blood and restricting it's supply in order to make more money. Conspiracy theorists everywhere finally get to say I told you so; apparently they do keep it all on ice in some secret warehouse! They pay around $20-$40 dollars, I guess based on the "quality" of your plasma. I suppose that's per liter, which means according to these guys, the average person is worth about $200. Which apparently is then resold at twice the price of gold last summer.

I swear, it's gotten so creepy... We are like 2 steps away from a news story about homeless people disappearing, then we find out that Cerberus Capital has a warehouse somewhere with all of these people hooked up to machines draining them slowly of blood. (How much does it cost to incorporate?)

In Florida, my home state, a woman was arrested for allegedly using a stun gun on some other lady. Details are sketchy, but apparently, as a result of this act, she was charged with battery, petty theft, and violation of pretrial release.

I have a hard time figuring this one out: I get the battery charge, but the petty theft and pretrial release? I guess getting arrested today is like playing slots, you pull the lever and you could win up to three criminal charges, at random! Everybody's a Winner!

Again in Florida (Sheesh), a boy was arrested for holding up a convenience store with a toy gun. My personal hero, Carmen San Diego, would be so proud! The one thing I'd like to point out in his favor is this, he had the culture and good breeding to say "thank you" after receiving the money (kids are raised right in the South... did I mention I'm a Southerner?). Personally, that store clerk was out of line reporting him to the police. You have no idea how hard it is to get kids to be respectful to their elders these days! Now the next time he robs a convenience store he certainly isn't going to be polite about it!

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani lashed out at the Obama administration's anti-terrorism strategy Friday, saying in an interview with ABC News that the White House was making a grave mistake by trying the Christmas Day bombing suspect in civilian rather than military court. But Giuliani also attracted some criticism of his own from Democrats and media watchdogs, after saying during his Good Morning America appearance, "We had no domestic attacks under Bush. We've had one under Obama."

Giuliani has a pretty short memory. Apparently he lambasted Obama for the Christmas "attack", saying that there were no domestic attacks under Bush. Really? Really really? So 9/11 was what?

Just saying...it's called thinking. Before speaking.

And, you were Mayor of New York...So...yeah.

And that's all you get.