WASHINGTON - In a surprise turn of events, a joint FBI, CIA, ATF, FDA and RIAA taskforce arrested a frozen fish, hiding out in the tenement slums of Detroit yesterday.

WASHINGTON - In a surprise turn of events, a joint FBI, CIA, ATF, FDA and RIAA taskforce arrested a frozen fish, hiding out in the tenement slums of Detroit yesterday.

The taskforce, working on tips from the Recording Industry Artists of America's "Fink out your neighbor" program, got reports of a frozen fish downloading copyrighted music. He had bragged to a friend that "His iPod had every Barry Manilow song in existance".

With this information, the taskforce didn't need a warrant, or any evidence, so they used a thermite grenade to blow open his door where they found a sordid "harem" of pirated Barry Manilow and Beach Boy's CDs, and some suspiciouly professionally printed blue prints, maps, IDs, a Journal making allusions to the "Day those capitalist heathen infidels met justice", and 2 and 1/2 hour video of a public recycling bin infront of a Jack in the Box.

He was immediately escorted to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where he confessed to flying into the Pentagon. A transcription of the "interview" was leaked, yet again, by someone in the Bush Administration when it was posted to a fishlover's cooking forum.