I will be 84 next month — even though I have smoked since I was sixteen. I started with five Woodbines and now I smoke Davidoff magnums which I have to get from Germany.
I recently told my doctor I smoke twenty a day, then about ten in the evenings — and I try and keep it down to five during the night. I also told him that I have had three doctors in the last fifty years. Each of them recommended I give up. But each of them has now died; the last one only a year older than me. My new doctor laughed and said nothing. He has a good sense of humour.
My father was a very keen anti-smoker, but he died at 75 because he ate too many chocolate biscuits. He was a diabetic who would walk up the street to buy a packet of chocolate biscuits and then eat them all in the park. This caused him to go into comas, which he did once too often and died of a heart attack in the hospital. He knew that going into a coma damages your heart, but he was a lot more worried about the smokers.
I knew this was completely irrational, but I also knew that he wasn't alone. One of the reasons I moved to Normandy was because there are many people in England like him who are now trying to ban smoking. All of them are humourless bossy boots.
They are now trying it in Oxfordshire, which wants to become England's first "smoke-free" county. I have no plans to go there. I was once invited by the Oxford Union to a debate on smoking, but I had to decline because of my deafness — although I did also point out that there's not a hotel in Oxford where you can smoke.
It is the relentlessness of these people that has demonised smoking in England and America. Why are they listened to? It wouldn't happen in France, Germany, Italy or Spain.
The Guardian published a report last week about how there were now 1.1 billion smokers in the world — but it also mentioned that 8 million had "died" from smoking, and how terrible that was. I had to remind them that 8 million was 0.73% of 1.1 billion, so what about the 99.27 % that hadn't?
It's all madness to me and something should be said. I have always thought the world to be mad and it has been madder at other points in my lifetime. I was, after all, born in 1937. I would normally be willing to take on the anti-smokers, but at the moment I'm living a very quiet life in Normandy, working away because I've something to do. I have a purpose in life.
Not many people in England will defend smoking. They are intimidated by the medical profession and "social pressure". Well, I'm lucky I can't hear the "social pressure", let alone what the doctors have to say. Their obsession with health is unhealthy. Longevity shouldn't be an aim in life; that to me seems to be life-denying.
I know the World Health Organisation is also part of this madness. They might relentlessly go on about it, but why are they listened to? They are completely irrational. They won't give up, just like my father.
In my profession, Picasso smoked and died at 91, Matisse smoked and died at 84 and Monet chain-smoked and died at 86. I don't smoke much when I'm painting, but I light a cigarette every fifteen minutes when I stop to check what I have done. Monet smoked while he painted, but kept them in his mouth all the time. I can't do that. I take a drag then hold it in my hand.
Renoir also smoked: if you go on YouTube and type in "Renoir smoking and painting", you will see an old man painting with difficulty because of his arthritic hands. And then he lights a cigarette. I can tell he enjoys it enormously, and all these bossy boots would deny him that pleasure.
I know there will always be bossy people. Anne Applebaum says that 30% of people in every country have an "authoritarian disposition" — but doesn't she just mean "bossy"? Smoking for me is a deep pleasure and 1.1 billion people in the world seem to agree. It can never be stopped; smokers would just start growing their own tobacco. But we need more people to defend it, otherwise the bossy boots will win in England.
I'm 100% sure that I am going to die of a smoking-related illness or a non-smoking related illness. But I couldn't imagine not smoking, and when people tell me to stop I always point this out. I've done it for 68 years, so are you telling me I'm doing something wrong? F*ck off.
Laugh a lot. It clears the lungs.
About The Author
David Hockney is an English painter.
Reader Comments
Groucho Marx had to be taught this lesson (at 17:21): [Link]
You sound a bit like a self-righteous vegan complaining about the smell of meat.
Of course, vegans would like to ban meat eating in public too.
Bottom line: it's none of your damn business if someone smokes in public or not.
How could it be?
Looking at your comments about LKJ the other day made me wonder why you've parked up here.
I notice no one's trying to ban you.
Perhaps it would be good to consider that said cult, if a cult it is (and I don't have enough info to determine yea or nay on that), is a subset of the people who post here, not a requirement for participation. It does alarm me a bit to have stirred up comments such as yours, since my thoughts, if you care to read and consider them once again, were about channeling and the tendency to naively take that phenomenon at face value, not about LKJ.
I'm a bit alarmed on your behalf, quite honestly. I suspect your cigs might be reducing the oxygenation of your brain cells and affecting your capacity for critical thinking!
Another pinchmouth cry for help?
As long as I don't have to breath it in or pay for his medical bills good for him!
Kinda like seatbelts.... They've saved my life twice in major accidents but I totally disagree with seatbelt laws.
"And was it good for you folks too?"
R.C.
In fact, I have a neighbor, that is an ex smoker now smokes "weed" every time he goes out, coughs his gut out, clears his throat, spits on the pavement, makes me wonder who has the greater benefit.
Something strikes me. the amount of clay pipes, discovered, by Mudllarks, traversing the Thames Estuary, in the 21sr century, is nothing more than remarkable, dating clay pipes from the 1600's to the early 19th century, as clay pipes go, guess, where was the lung cancer? They are controlled, and need a permit to traverse the waterways.
[Link]
Why do I find so many BLIMMING CLAY PIPES on the Thames Foreshore? MUDLARKING with Nicola White
Hm lung cancer, a modern disease?
RC
Me, I once found two scrapers and an arrowhead while wading in a river in KS/MO. RC
Normal cigarette smoke is fine. I have to be reminded that it bothers people sometimes.
Pharmaceutical caused road accidents never see the light of day much..hmm
But yeah,I innerstand your concern.
In a study in the UK they discovered that canabis smokers when driving drove slower and took less chances, unlike drinkers, amphetamine user or any other drug group. This annoyed the government that paid for this research and it's results only emerged after that government was dismissed. This was within the last twenty years in the UK.
Banning smoking outside is draconian and pathetic. I loath medical tyranny and pseudo medical tyranny even more so.
peace.
"I cannot sign zee papers." (I don't know if there was ever a video from that though I wouldn't be surprised if there was; I remember it from a Cheech & Chong LP.) [Link]
RC
But it does put my trials into perspective.
I think cigarettes became the scapegoat for 60+ years of cancer causing nuclear test fallout
So,I break everyone of them up,& re roll them with premium papers & filters
They are vastly improved of the smell you mentioned after this
fyi for anyone interested
How much does a f***ing leaf cost, FFS?
Its obscene
"Comorbidities "
Because in my eyes that's the same as stopping people smoking in public.
And I see smokers living to ripe old ages. I can't ever remember a fat old person, can you?
Hurts my eyes.
.. depressed people smoke. ... depressed people eat peanut butter
Hungover people also eat peanut butter 🤣😂😜
And "they" know the easiest way they can achieve that is to use "public health grounds" as an excuse.
As can clearly be seen "they" care not one whit about public health.
SOTT Focus:A comprehensive review of the many health benefits of smoking Tobacco
Smoking is surely detrimental to one's health, right? People are often bombarded with warnings about the negative effects of smoking and are persuaded to quit by health authorities. It has even...Brain Researchers: Smoking increases intelligence
Quitting smoking results in a decrease in brain activity, says professor. Positive effects of nicotine on the brain's performance is now confirmed by the Danish nicotine research at the Panum...Could be a clue.
Shark Tank - Out For a Rip
"Every 20 minutes or so, Smoke Break!"
[Link]
The sequel, Out For a Sip: [Link]
I smoke some stuff but haven't had an actual cigarette in months. Generally I just smoke cannabis packed on top of tobacco through a bong aka "poppers". As a result sometimes my breathing is a bit stifled and I get congested.
The author is right on about laughing clearing the lungs. Good medicine. My go-to expectorant combo when available is a moderate amount of coffee (too much gives me pasties), some spicy pepper/hot sauce, some beer, and steam inhalation. I find beer goes particularly well with smoking, soothing the respiratory system and encouraging loogie expulsion. I also find peppermint tea, maybe with chamomile, or a drop or two peppermint essential oil on my tongue to be soothing antitussives when I smoke, though too much feels rough and can be counterproductive and contribute to coughing.
You can take it those figures are absolute nonsense.
I say, "well my Grandpa lived to be 92."
They say, ..."and he smoked his whole life?"
and I say, " No, he minded his own fucking business"
Ps, My great grandpa made it to 98? and smoked.
rc