Alien vs. Predator

I feel the need to preface this short movie review with some background information and a confession. ...I am a recovering comic book junky nerd. There, I said it. I rejected comics in my very early youth because I wanted the praise of reading books that were for "older" kids and I saw comics as meant for babies and therefore beneath me. But my teenage hormones got the better of me and I found myself wrapped up in the X-Men and other associated "X people" comics. This carried over into my adulthood, though I have recovered from that fascination in recent years.

So, having finally "come out" on this list, I want to admit that I have been a fan of the Alien and Predator movies and comics since their inception. Naturally, I was very excited in the 90's when rumor was made of an Alien vs. Predator movie that would be released imminently. And equally disappointed when said movie failed to materialize. So it was with great enthusiasm and giddiness that I ventured to my local "stadium-style seating" movie theatre and purchased a ticket for the newly released Alien vs. Predator movie. Finally, my action dreams of vicious clashes between the vile aliens and wily predators would be realized on a thirty foot tall screen with dolby surround sound!

Before the usual theatre commercials (helpfully labeled "pre-show entertainment") and endless movie previews began, the air was tense. Seated around me were a few hundred of my fellow comic book nerd friends, and all of us were showing signs of giddiness. The atmosphere reminded me of a comic book and gaming convention or a Star Trek convention (... not that I've ever been to one of those before...) Several (verbal) fights about who was better, the aliens or the predators, threatened to break out at any moment. Fortunately, Father Time was kind and the show (or rather previews) began, quelling any such catastrophic conflicts.

So there I was, half-way through the movie, watching with baited breath the two different types of creatures ripping each other to shreds with a gaggle of unfortunate humans in the middle and a revelation proceeded to break upon my mind like the new tide on a beach. It all made sense now. The authors really intended the movie to be a sort of philosophical allegory. The end of the movie trailer states about the war between aliens and predators: "No matter who wins... We lose." Watching the camera quickly switch back and forth between the drooling horrific maw of an alien and the demonic visage of a predator, I realized what the movie was really about: U.S. Republicans and Democrats!

With that realization in hand, the rest of the movie was quite a bit more entertaining than it otherwise would have been. Although the detonation of the predator's mass destruction device near the end was a bit disconcerting given the allegorical nature of the film.

So who won? That would spoil the end of the movie. You'll have to wait until November 2nd to find out! In any event, No Matter Who Wins...

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