© Babylon BeeJustin sneaking past the truckers in a clever disguise.
Dear Justin Trudeau,
How do you do it? It's like you're a psychic gifted with an intuitive capacity far beyond the range of normal people. I would never have known the truckers were racist just by looking at them, but apparently you can spot it from a mile away!
And how did you know that they have "unacceptable views" without ever talking to them? Genius! Is this the result of special training or were you born this way?
I must confess I'm so old-fashioned I still need racists to actually do or say something racist before I know I'm dealing with one. I was singing your praises to Mrs Trevor in Trimley only this morning and she agreed you have special gifts. (Actually she said you have special needs, she gets mixed up sometimes.)
My Great Aunt Mabel had the gift too, but sadly those were different times and she was institutionalised. Perhaps when you die you should leave your brain to 'the science?'
But I know you're a busy man so I shall get to my point. I should tell you that it is Mrs Trevor in Trimley who prompted me to pen you this letter.
She rightly brought to my attention that she has recently sent money (ยฃ20 as a birthday gift) to a cousin who emigrated to Canada in 1983, and she is now understandably concerned that Laurence may have gone off the rails since then and joined the ranks of the many hundreds of thousands of Canadians who have become racists, misogynists and terrorists during your premiership.
Between you and me, I always had misgivings about "long haired Larry" and would not be the least bit surprised to see him flying a banner inscribed with provocative white supremacist language on it like, 'freedom!' (Yeah, sure Larry, freedom for whites like you but what about freedom for people who like to black up on social occasions?)
Mrs Trevor in Trimley's concern, of course, is that her largesse may be mistaken for funding terrorism and that her bank account could be frozen, or worse, that she might be kicked out of the Women's Institute if her name emerges on a list of supporters of working-class struggles against the powerful, and all as a result of her being thoughtlessly generous to a person without first checking the acceptability of his current views.
I offer my sincere apologies for my wife's generous nature and would like to make a suggestion that I hope makes up for it.
To help us, and other non-Canadians, avoid making similar missteps in future, may I ask that you put in place a clear system that clarifies the views held by Canadian people we may come into contact with.