A few exercises to help increase your feelings of empathy:
Building empathy for your intimate partnerEnvision a characteristic or behavior of yours that you know your partner dislikes. Imagine shifting your consciousness into your partner's perspective, even though you may disagree with that perspective.
Immerse yourself in your partner's perceptions of you. Try to experience them fully. At the same time, hold on to your own views.
Then try to understand your partner's attitudes as a reflection of who he or she is, based on all the influences and choices that have shaped him or her. Don't judge.