Why do women find sexist men appealing?
Women like bad boys. At least, that's the story. And there's lots of writing and anecdotal experience to back that up. Men frequently complain about being "friendzoned," the idea being that men who are respectful toward their female interests get placed into the role of friend, rather than potential boyfriend. The "pickup artist" community has embraced this concept, teaching men how to behave in assertive, dominant ways that, allegedly, are more successful with women. Many of these concepts and dynamics themselves have been called sexist and misogynistic, reflecting underlying beliefs that women "owe" men sex. The "incel" community, a group of online males who complain bitterly, violently, and angrily about being "involuntary celibates" attack women for choosing "Alpha males" rather than softer, kinder men. . . like themselves.
Women who admit to liking bad boys - being attracted to men who are assertive or dominant - are sometimes criticized as having "internalized" misogynistic attitudes, or simply as naïve and foolish, failing to recognize or admit that sexism is damaging. During the 2016 presidential campaign, female fans of then-candidate Trump proudly invited their candidate to grab them, following release of tapes of Trump discussing grabbing women without consent. These women were proclaimed traitors to other women, or decried as simply deluded. Others have suggested that women may choose bad boy types in order to acquire protection from other, more aggressive and hostile men, a theory referred to as the "protection racket." Some simply suggest that sexism is insidious, and that these dynamics infiltrate our choices without us noticing.
Comment: It's amazing that we live in an age where chivalry and respect are equated with sexism. Men have traditionally played a courteous and protective role towards women, yet today we find women complaining that men are holding the door for them, as it it suggests they aren't capable of opening the door themselves. Yet the study mentioned above suggests that "benevolent sexism" is actually more attractive to women, feminist or not. Perhaps our in-built drives outweigh culturally "progressive" programming after all.
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