Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Vader

Cheney playing human: Cheney goes for laughs at media dinner

Vice President Dick Cheney has shown off his lighter side, filling in for his boss Wednesday night at the annual Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner in Washington.

By tradition, the guest of honor pokes a little fun at himself before the audience of media members and guests.

The vice president worked in a reference to Democrat Barack Obama's controversial comments about "bitter" voters and his own hunting mishap. He thanked the attendees for the kind welcome, saying, "You're not the kind to look down on a bitter man who clings to his guns."

Bizarro Earth

Israel: Man strips in protest of bread sales during Passover

Young man dressed as yeshiva student undresses at non-kosher supermarket chain, remaining only with sock covering his private parts.

A 27-year-old man, claiming to be a yeshiva student, decided to launch an unusual protest against a court ruling allowing stores and restaurants to sell leavened food during the holiday of Passover.

The man, dressed as a haredi, arrived Monday afternoon at a store belonging to the non-kosher Tiv Taam supermarket chain in the city of Bat Yam, just south of Tel Aviv. Upon his arrival, he undressed and remained with only a sock covering his private parts.

Ambulance

Why the great British breakfast is a killer

The news that Heston "Bacon and Egg Ice-Cream" Blumenthal is to have a hand in revamping the Little Chef chain of service station restaurants has thrown Britain's gastronomic reactionaries - and believe me, they are legion - into a ferment.

"Eggs and bacon were made for the breakfast table, not some poncy ice-cream," roared The Daily Telegraph, no doubt suppressing a florid belch as its morning kippers turned in its stomach.

Crusader

Police break up unholy brawl in revered Jerusalem church

Israeli police rushed into Jerusalem's Church of the Holy Sepulchre to break up fist fights between dozens of Greek and Armenian worshippers on Orthodox Palm Sunday, witnesses said.

Some 20 officers intervened after Armenian worshippers threw a Greek Orthodox priest out of the church, sparking a free-for-all, they said.

Life Preserver

US: New York police on Pope watch snatch river beaver

New York police guarding the United Nations during Pope Benedict's visit on Friday made a rare discovery and rescue -- of a beaver struggling to swim past the world body's headquarters.

Soon after the pope left the United Nations, police harbour and scuba units patrolling the East River spotted the four-foot (1.20 metre) long, 40-pound (18-kg) animal. Beavers have only recently returned to the city with the first sighting of one in more than 200 years made in February 2007.

Magic Wand

Psychics see big trouble over new laws

Fortune-tellers, mediums and spiritual healers marched on the home of the British prime minister at Downing Street on Friday to protest against new laws they fear will lead to them being "persecuted and prosecuted".

priesthnd
©Reuters/Brian Snyder
Priests hold hands at an altar in Salem, Massachusetts

Wolf

Nevada dog finds its way home after a week, 77 miles

Ely, Nevada - A dog that ran off during a road-trip rest stop in north-central Nevada apparently made its way nearly 80 miles across Nevada's high desert and two mountain ranges to return home to Ely a week later.

Pocket Knife

Drunk Russian sleeps off knifing

A Russian man trying to sleep off a night of after-work drinking failed to notice a six-inch (15-cm) knife in his back - until his wife woke him up.

Cow Skull

For sale: Triceratops, 65,000,000, one careful owner

The rare skeleton of a Triceratops which roamed the plains of North America some 65 million years ago will go under the hammer at Christie's in Paris tonight, only the second dinosaur fossil of its size to be sold at auction.

Triceratops
©Philippe Wojazer/Reuters
Whoever buys the Triceratops will get the chance to name it

Smiley

UK: Heathrow Terminal 5 song is web hit

Two disgruntled British Airways passengers have heaped more embarrassment on the airline by a posting a musical video mocking Terminal 5 on the internet.

Tim Soong turned to satire after BA managed to wreck his wedding plans by losing his luggage, leaving he and his best man, Andy Baynes, without their suits. His fiancée, Sokha Nhim, was also left minus her dress.

The 29-year-old decided to take revenge by filming a covert video in Terminal 5 after claiming the airline denied him compensation.