Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Coffee

The afterlife located

Where, in the opinion of various religious leaders and their followers is Heaven or Paradise situated?

Video

Google thwarts al-Qaeda kamikaze strike on US embassy

Google has quite brilliantly denied al-Qaeda the possibility of using Google Maps UK to identify the US embassy in London and subsequently launching a devastating kamikaze assault on the building.

Indeed, were Ozzie bin Laden to search for "US embassy London", he'd be directed here:

Eagle

Parrot rescued by helicopter

US coastguards had to use a helicopter to rescue a man who climbed a 60ft pine tree to retrieve his pet parrot.

William Hart, 35, from Montgomery County, near Houston, Texas, followed his £1,000 white cockatoo Geronimo after it escaped its cage.

After he got stuck, about 30 Sheriff's deputies and firefighters converged on the tree but the ground was too wet to get a ladder near the tree.

Houston Police Department's water rescue team then tried to reach Mr Hart with a rope, but it was not long enough.

Question

Disease underlies Hatfield-McCoy feud

The most infamous feud in American folklore, the long-running battle between the Hatfields and McCoys, may be partly explained by a rare, inherited disease that can lead to hair-trigger rage and violent outbursts.

Heart

Wave of Japanese divorces feared as baby-boomers retire. Women dread having husbands home.

Japan expects a significant rise in the number of divorces from April, particularly among older people, because of a change in the pension rules coming into effect.


Hobbies can sometimes be an escape

The new system will for the first time allow women to claim up to half of their husband's pension if they end their marriage.

Experts say the fact that millions of baby boomers are due to give up work this year, forcing husbands and wives to spend a lot more time together than they ever have before, is likely to put extra strain on marriage too.

Sheeple

Kim Jong II ate my rabbits for his birthday

The offspring of the 12 giant rabbits were supposed to help to feed starving North Koreans. Now doubts about their fate have brought an abrupt halt to one of the more unlikely hunger-alleviating projects.

Karl Szmolinsky sold the rabbits to Pyongyang so that they could be used to set up a breeding programme to boost meat production in the Hermit Kingdom.

However, amid concerns that they have been eaten by the country's leaders, Mr Szmolinsky will not be sending any more.

Wolf

Wolf Whistles Are Banned

Construction workers have been banned from wolf whistling at women at their building sites.

George Wimpey South Wales is sending out instructions to all its building contractors this week, warning workers not to whistle at women.

The company's sales and marketing director Richard Goad, who wrote the memo, said he hoped the move would make women feel more comfortable when looking for a new home.

Mr Goad, based at the company's Cardiff headquarters, said: "There's no doubt that first impressions last. There's little point in having a super show home unless a woman can get out of her car and feel comfortable looking around.

Bizarro Earth

Beijinger buying flies to help clean up city

Retired restaurateur Guo Zhanqi is buying flies for two yuan ($0.259) apiece to help clean up Beijing for next year's Olympics, local media reported on Wednesday.

Echoing Mao Zedong's campaign against the "Four Harms" in the 1950s, Guo can be found outside the city's Chaoyang Park doling out his savings to anybody who hands over a dead fly.

"There were always a mass of flies around the entrance to my restaurant, and no fewer inside," the 60-year-old told Beijing Youth Daily. "It was extremely disgusting."

Bulb

Swedish Couple fights to name baby 'Metallica'

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Metallica may be a cool name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince officials it is also suitable for a baby girl.

Comment: Well, I suppose Metallica is better than Alice in Chains.


Bizarro Earth

BBQ is Evil! Belgium to impose tax on barbequing to fight global warming

The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.

Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, is emitted during barbequing. Beginning June 2007, residents of Wallonia will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling session.