Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
Look how it intimidates those kitties.
They know who is boss!
Fri, 19 Aug 2016 19:28 UTC
Sun, 14 Aug 2016 15:54 UTC
Real News Right Now
Wed, 17 Aug 2016 20:53 UTC
The mishap began shortly after 12:15 a.m. on Sunday morning when police received a call about a possible homeless man lurking in the alley behind the Macy's department store on Viewmont Drive. Officers arrived on the scene to find what they believed was a muscular African-American man standing idly behind a dumpster. "The individual in question was dressed in a tan hoodie-style sweatshirt and appeared to be naked from the waist down," Major Howard Colvin told the Scranton Times.
This is a popular Swedish blogger, En Arg Blatte Talar, who goes by the name of Angry Foreigner. See what he has to say about the current situation in Sweden and realize that the rest of the West is only a few years behind.
Sweden is a poster child for liberal insanity and what happens when the cancer of Cultural Marxism reaches terminal mass.
But don't take my word for it... enjoy!
Michiel Rote was recording with his DJI Phantom above Castle Teylingen in Sassenheim, but 'Goose' didn't appreciate the invasion of privacy.
It flew straight for the drone sending it back down to the ground, before joining up with the other geese and presumably honking a smug remark.
Rote claims his equipment was unharmed and, from what he could tell, the goose was fine too.
"I lost a piece of my prop... the goose was just fine!" he said.
The Dutch sky is a dangerous place for drones with hawks and eagles employed by Dutch police to take down anything flying that poses a security risk - and they are more than pleased to help.
The New Yorker/The Borowitz Report
Fri, 12 Aug 2016 19:41 UTC
"People who are worried about me having the nuclear-launch codes should stop worrying, O.K.?" Trump told CNN's Wolf Blitzer. "If I ever used nuclear weapons, it would be really obvious that I was just being sarcastic."
Pressed by Blitzer to explain the difference between a sarcastic and non-sarcastic nuclear attack, Trump responded, "You'd use the weapons and everything, but then you'd say, 'Just kidding.' "
Trump did not specify which nations he would target for a sarcastic nuclear attack. "I can't say right now," he said. "But there are a lot of countries that need to lighten up."
The New York Times
Wed, 10 Aug 2016 14:52 UTC
The Games have always meant different things to different people, whether they are fans of popular sports, passionate adherents of niche activities like air rifle shooting or the hammer throw, or those who enjoy tracking any athletic endeavor at the championship level.
Another cohort following the Olympics, though, does so without much knowledge or even interest in the rules and arcana. They are the armchair voyeurs, excited by the sight of bodies at the peak of perfection. That those bodies are often clad in uniforms leaving little to the imagination is part of the appeal.
Speaking at a rally held in New York this afternoon, Satan said he would fully support the Clinton campaign, and stated that he will do everything in his power to help the 68-year-old secure her place as the first female president in America's short, but eventful history.
"I love America and everything it stands for," Satan opened his speech, "I love the way you guys just take what you want, when you want it, without fear of reprisals. Furthermore, I adore your country's corrupt behaviour and continuing propensity for violence, and your cunning ability to cover it up as some form of retribution for attacks on your soil, which you geniusly orchestrate yourselves," adding, "You guys are putting even me to shame here, and I could not think of anyone else more perfect than Hillary to guide you through the next 4 to 8 years, because, let's face it, it's going to be hell".
Following a roar from spectators, the devil incarnate went on to slam Donald Trump as an "amateur", claiming he's too soft and stupid to run for the American primary.
"What fool lets everybody know what he's thinking like that?" Satan pointed out, "At least Hillary keeps all her real emotions and ideals locked away from public knowledge. You can't have an openly racist president in this day and age, you've got to be cleverer than that. You've got to be Hillary smart".
Taking Mrs. Clinton by the hand, Satan raised her hand high into the air, as spectators stood up to clap.
"Vote Hillary number one! Vote Hillary number one! Vote Hillary number one!" they all cheered in unison, before Satan disappeared in a flash of fire.
Sat, 06 Aug 2016 21:44 UTC
The news emerged after it became clear Trump's campaign website would not allow supporters to cancel reoccurring donations, a move covered under Rule 239 as "Never be afraid to mislabel a product".
Trump, who believes he is running for the position of 'Grand Nagus' of the United States, has a personal motto of "A man is only worth the sum of his possessions", which is his favourite of the rules.
Others of his favourite rules include 'war is good for business' and 'Employees are rungs on the ladder of success - don't hesitate to step on them'.
Many supporters of Donald Trump already appear to be using at least the first three of the five stages of acquisition - infatuation, obsession, justification, appropriation and resale - to explain backing their candidate.
Speaking from the plush Ferenginar Casino on the Las Vegas Strip, a spokesman for Trump confirmed that all 285 of the rules would be added to the Constitution as amendments.
"We might shake up the order a bit," we were told.
"The first two amendments will be 'Females and finances don't mix' and 'It never hurts to suck up to the boss'.
"Donald was very clear about that for some reason."
The leak was described as 'Unsurprising, predictable and weak' by Trump's opponent in the race, Hillary Klingon.