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Wed, 27 Oct 2021
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Prepare for a new round of crying game: Paris Hilton loses inheritance

Party princess Paris Hilton is $60 million out of pocket after her billionaire grandfather - appalled by her jail term for drink-driving offences - axed her inheritance.

Family patriarch Barron Hilton was already embarrassed by his granddaughter's wild behaviour - notably when her home sex video was leaked on the internet.

But the 79-year-old considered her 23-day sentence last month the last straw.

Sheeple

Meditators say vibrations will raise Dow, ward off hurricanes, create utopia

U.S. stocks had a tough week with the Dow Jones Industrial Average suffering its worst one-week point drop in five years, but a group of meditators promise their good vibrations will send the index past 17,000 within a year.

A group called the Invincible America Assembly made that claim and more Friday, insisting they have America's prosperity under control and their positive vibes will bring fewer hurricanes and better U.S.-North Korean relations.

USA

Soliciting sex draws fowl sentence for 3

PAINESVILLE, Ohio - A judge known for giving unusual sentences has ordered three men who pleaded guilty to soliciting sex to take turns dressing in a bright yellow chicken costume.

Painesville Municipal Judge Michael Cicconetti agreed to suspend a 30-day jail sentence if they wear the costume between 4 and 7 p.m. Friday outside the court while carrying a sign that reads "No Chicken Ranch in Painesville."

Wine

Quit horsing around!

She may be standing in the shadows but one little horse is reaching heights of her own.

At a mere 17 inches, the miniature brown mare known as Thumbelina takes pride in the lofty title of the World's Smallest Living Horse.

Her companion, Radar, is a Belgian draught horse with his own big claim to fame - as the Worlds Tallest Living Horse.

©Getty
Big heights: Radar, a Belgian draft horse towers over Thumbelina, a miniature who is the world's smallest living horse.

Coffee

Excuse Me, Is This Your Phone?

We dropped 30 phones in 32 cities. How many would we get back?

Bulb

Agency Offers AIDS Education to Elderly



©AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews
Joy Antonella, 91, center, reads a handout during an HIV/AIDS educational presentation and screening for seniors at the Peter Cardella Senior Center in Ridgewood, New York

NEW YORK - While volunteers passed out cups of Jell-O to the white-haired lunch crowd at a senior center, another group was distributing something that didn't quite fit amid the card games and daily gossip: condoms. "You're giving out condoms," 82-year-old Rose Crescenzo said with a wistful smile, "but who's going to give us a guy?"

But this was no joke.

Light Sabers

Police lose scooter in blazing 8 mph chase

This plucky pensioner led police on a low-speed chase around Middlesbrough - and then gave officers the slip.

The lukewarm pursuit started after he caused traffic chaos by crawling down the fast lane of a busy dual carriageway.

Police asked the stubborn senior citizen to pull over. But he defiantly cranked his battery-powered mobility scooter up to its top speed - 8mph - and somehow managed to escape their attention.

©Gazette Live

Comment: Man on the run... Man on the run...


Question

Pool and water stolen from New Jersey yard

Someone stole 1,000 gallons of water from Daisy Valdivia's backyard. And they didn't spill a drop.

Valdivia woke Wednesday morning to find that her family's inflatable pool, hip high and 10 feet in diameter and filled with water, was stolen from her backyard in the middle of the night. There is no evidence that the water was poured out, pumped out, evaporated or drunk.

©Leslie Barbaro / Herald News
Daisy Valdivia, of Paterson, is trying to figure out how thieves managed to steal the family's backyard inflatable pool and the 1,000 gallons of water in it during the night Wednesday.

Wine

Taxi panel won't retire 666

The devil gets to keep riding around in a San Francisco cab, the San Francisco taxi commission decreed on Tuesday.

After nearly half an hour of discussion and debate, the commission brought the weight of government to the question of whether to grant a request by a San Francisco cab driver seeking to retire Medallion No. 666 because of the number's association with Satan.

Telescope

Spying squirrels

Also in the animal world . . . From the BBC translators, an editorial by Saleh Eskandari headlined "spying squirrels," published July 10 by the Iranian newspaper Resalat.

"A few weeks ago, 14 squirrels equipped with espionage systems of foreign intelligence services were captured by [Iranian] intelligence forces along the country's borders. These trained squirrels, each of which weighed just over 700 grams, were released on the borders of the country for intelligence and espionage purposes. According to the announcement made by Iranian intelligence officials, alert police officials caught these squirrels before they could carry out any task.

Comment: According to various reports, the camera-wielding squirrels turned out to be American tourists. Iranians admit it was an honest mistake.