Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Gear

The Horror! One of the Released Marines says: "I was tortured! They gave me a fake Hugo Boss shirt!"

The gifts the Iranians gave the crew were a load of junk - and nothing in comparison to what they stole, including Arthur Batchelor's iPod, he said yesterday.

Before their release the Brits were given shabby grey three-piece suits made by a local designer and a fake Hugo Boss shirt.

They also got a "granny bag" full of tat including toffees with a label saying "containing pistachio", a CD and DVD that don't work and 11 books.

These were in English and mostly aimed at trying to convert the reader to Islam with titles like Youth and Morals by Sayid Lari.

Calculator

Can this note stamp out corruption in a land where it's the norm?

In the secret language of corruption in India, an official expecting a bribe will ask for Mahatma Gandhi to "smile" at him. The revered leader of the independence movement is on all denominations of rupee notes.

With rampant dishonesty ingrained in the bureaucratic culture, an anticorruption group has decided to interpret the euphemism literally by issuing a zero-rupee note.

A direct copy of the 50-rupee note, including Gandhi's portrait, it is designed to be handed out to officials who demand backhanders.

In the place of the usual promise of redemption by the central bank governor, the new pledge is: "I promise to neither accept nor give bribe."

Wolf

Easter Bunny Arrested, Charged With Stealing

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- Police said an 18-year-old who worked as the Easter Bunny at a northwest Columbus mall allegedly stole a woman's credit card and used it while on the job.

Life Preserver

Slovenian ends Amazon swim after 65 days

After 3,272 miles of exhaustion, sunburn, delirium and piranhas, a 52-year-old Slovenian successfully completed a swim down the Amazon river Saturday that could set a new world record for distance - one he's broken three times already.

After nine weeks, Martin Strel arrived near the city of Belem, the capital of the jungle state of Para, ending a swim almost as long as the drive from Miami to Seattle. Strel averaged about 50 miles a day since beginning his odyssey at the source of the world's second-longest river in Peru on Feb. 1.

By Thursday evening, he was struggling with dizziness, vertigo, high blood pressure, diarrhea, nausea and delirium, his Web site said. But despite having difficulty standing and being ordered by the doctor not to swim, Strel was obsessed with finishing the course and insisted on night swimming.

Coffee

The afterlife located

Where, in the opinion of various religious leaders and their followers is Heaven or Paradise situated?

Video

Google thwarts al-Qaeda kamikaze strike on US embassy

Google has quite brilliantly denied al-Qaeda the possibility of using Google Maps UK to identify the US embassy in London and subsequently launching a devastating kamikaze assault on the building.

Indeed, were Ozzie bin Laden to search for "US embassy London", he'd be directed here:

Eagle

Parrot rescued by helicopter

US coastguards had to use a helicopter to rescue a man who climbed a 60ft pine tree to retrieve his pet parrot.

William Hart, 35, from Montgomery County, near Houston, Texas, followed his £1,000 white cockatoo Geronimo after it escaped its cage.

After he got stuck, about 30 Sheriff's deputies and firefighters converged on the tree but the ground was too wet to get a ladder near the tree.

Houston Police Department's water rescue team then tried to reach Mr Hart with a rope, but it was not long enough.

Question

Disease underlies Hatfield-McCoy feud

The most infamous feud in American folklore, the long-running battle between the Hatfields and McCoys, may be partly explained by a rare, inherited disease that can lead to hair-trigger rage and violent outbursts.

Heart

Wave of Japanese divorces feared as baby-boomers retire. Women dread having husbands home.

Japan expects a significant rise in the number of divorces from April, particularly among older people, because of a change in the pension rules coming into effect.


Hobbies can sometimes be an escape

The new system will for the first time allow women to claim up to half of their husband's pension if they end their marriage.

Experts say the fact that millions of baby boomers are due to give up work this year, forcing husbands and wives to spend a lot more time together than they ever have before, is likely to put extra strain on marriage too.

Sheeple

Kim Jong II ate my rabbits for his birthday

The offspring of the 12 giant rabbits were supposed to help to feed starving North Koreans. Now doubts about their fate have brought an abrupt halt to one of the more unlikely hunger-alleviating projects.

Karl Szmolinsky sold the rabbits to Pyongyang so that they could be used to set up a breeding programme to boost meat production in the Hermit Kingdom.

However, amid concerns that they have been eaten by the country's leaders, Mr Szmolinsky will not be sending any more.