Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
Geller, the world-famous Israeli spoon-bender, decided last year to do a television program in Israel in order to name an heir.
"Uri Geller Looks for a Successor" was an instant hit - with viewer ratings of nearly 40 percent. More than 1 million people tune in to see conjurers compete by performing stunts ranging from stopping watches to reading minds.
The figures, draped in the stars and stripes, were placed next to a waxwork of George W Bush holding a sign saying "Welcome to America".
David has signed a five-year, £128m contract with LA Galaxy football team.
Victoria has already been seen on the celebrity circuit, partying with the stars after the Golden Globe Awards.
David's move has caused a flurry of excitement, with the footballer being described as a "celebrity supernova" and the biggest British invasion "since the Beatles" by the press.
The waxwork couple stand arm in arm, with David dressed in a black tuxedo and Victoria wearing a pale green sparkling evening gown.
Visitors are encouraged to embrace and kiss the figures as well as take photos.
"Once a year we go to Austria to hunt with our dogs, and at the end of the day we sit on the verandah and drink a beer. So we thought, my dog also has earned it," she said.
Joshua Hanson, 29, landed on a roof awning and suffered multiple broken bones with some internal injuries, but is expected to recover.
Mr Hanson crashed through the floor-to-ceiling window at the end of a corridor after returning to the Hyatt Regency after a night of drinking.
Hotel managers said they would investigate the unprecedented incident.
An amateur Italian historian said yesterday he has found the final resting place of the woman some believe inspired Leonardo da Vinci's most renowned painting, the "Mona Lisa."
A death certificate shows Lisa Gherardini -- the Renaissance woman some believe was the model for the "Mona Lisa" -- died July 15, 1542, in Florence and is buried in a convent in central Florence, Giuseppe Pallanti said.
Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe House and Museum, said 55 people braved a chilly morning to catch a glimpse of the annual visit of a man known as the Poe toaster to the writer's grave.
As he has done previously to mark Poe's birthday, the visitor arrived to place his half-empty bottle of cognac and three red roses at the grave, Jerome said.
Comment:
But if you want to make some real money, you need to have some real psychic skills and you need to be able to demonstrate them under specific conditions. There must be real psychics out there that know next Monday's Lotto numbers, or know which three horses will win the Trifecta down at the track. That should be a pretty simple task for anyone who can "see" into the future. It's strange that you never hear about them.Clearly such a challenge was created by an idiot who is incapable of understanding the laws of physics. Psychic's predictions are not repeatable and are unpredictable predictions, otherwise they would have been already described by equations. They are like events with probability 0 - they happen all the time, but we realize it only after they have happened.
Comment: The reason we included this spurious article in today's news is in order to highlight the following sentence: which we feel is a perfect example of the incredibly vacuous nature of modern culture.
"Kiss and embrace the plastic celebrities! Maybe you'll be famous too!"
If you hear a long drawn out wail in the next few moments, don't be alarmed, that'll be us plummeting towards the bottom of the cliff over which we are about to throw ourselves.