Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
'The calf has six legs, two vaginas and six nipples,' explained the animal's owner, Salvador Vanegas.
Vanegas, who has been raising cattle for many years, said it was the first time he has seen a calf born with that many legs and vaginas.
Dozens of residents of Villa Vieja - in Colombia's central Huila province - gathered at Vanega's ranch at the weekend to see the leggy, double-vagina'd animal.
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The future's so bright, we gotta wear shades |
When Alexander Pope said, 'hope springs eternal in the human breast', he followed it with:
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.
Unfortunately, most people never get past the first line. If they did, they would understand that Pope's message in this case was not exactly one of optimism, unless an optimist is someone who wins every argument with "hey, at least there's heaven!"
That means "I'm hungry. I'm hungry. HEY, I'M HUNGRY!" in newborn.
That's according to Priscilla Dunstan, a woman who believes she's cracked the code of infants up to 3 months old.
Dunstan, an Australian mom who recently described her findings on "The Oprah Winfrey Show," has come up with a five-word blueprint for what the world's little tykes are trying to tell their folks. Her theory is that all babies have the same physical needs - hunger, sleep, relief of discomfort, relief from gas - so their bodies produce the same sounds, or words, based on those needs.
For example, the "neh" sound is made when a baby positions its mouth to suck, with its tongue on the roof of its mouth - all babies eat the same way - and then starts its pre-cry noise.
Advertisements appearing this week in British, U.S., Australian, German and Norwegian newspapers will ask "Can you trace your family tree back to 1066? Might your ancestors have claimed the English throne?"
She had no forewarning that a mugger would reach through the open passenger window of her husband's car, punch her in the face and grab her bag containing two wallets, R2 500 in cash, bank cards, her telephone and ID books, two cellphones and her heart tablets.
The hog hung snout down from a tree Friday in William Coursey's front yard, not far from where the avid hunter said he shot the beast. He said he hauled it to a truck weight station, which recorded the hairy hog at 1,100 pounds.
Comment: Oh, puh-leeeeeze!