Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S

Life Preserver

Congo rangers treat rare gorilla orphaned in shooting

KINSHASA - National park rangers in the
Democratic Republic of Congo are battling to save a 2-month-old gorilla found clinging to its dead mother, who was shot dead through the back of the head, conservationists said on Sunday.

File photo shows a mountain Gorilla named Baby Ndeze resting on her mother's lap in Mikeno sector, north of Goma in the Democratic Republic of Congo, February 17, 2007.


McDonald's to pay Chinese student 147 pounds for rat bite

The world's largest restaurant chain, McDonald's Corp., has been ordered to pay a student some 2,200 yuan (147 pounds) after a rat bit her at one of its outlets in northeastern China, media reported on Sunday.

A local court in Shenyang city in Liaoning province ordered the payment -- covering costs that included $130 for psychological injury -- for the incident last year, the China Merchant Morning Post said.

The woman, whose name was not disclosed, said a rat had climbed up her leg and bit her on the thigh while she was eating a meal at the restaurant.


French Citizens Rename Capital City To Distance Themselves From American Heiress (a parody)

Green Acres, France (Formerly known as Paris) - In a highly mobilized effort to save face for France's multi-billion dollar tourism industry, French telecommunication corporations, national internet providers and everyday common citizens joined forces yesterday, to fight for the reputation and dignity of it's most historic and beloved city.


Hungarians reclaim world record for kissing

Hungarians broke the world record for simultaneous kissing on Saturday when more than 6,400 couples joined lips for a few seconds at a party outside the country's parliament, the organizers said.

Hungary has been engaged in a kissing duel with the Philippines since 2004, when 5,327 couples kissed in Manila, followed by new records in Budapest in 2005 and 6,124 couples in Manila again this February.


Brace yourself!

The struggle between yes and no
©Dmitry Astakhov

German Chancellor Angela Merkel and British Prime Minister Tony Blair at the G8 summit.

Magic Wand

Archaeologists discover Iron Age Mickey Mouse

Swedish archaeologists have uncovered signs of a Viking precursor to Mickey Mouse. Among the objects found during excavations at Uppåkra in southern Sweden is an iron age figure bearing a strong resemblance to the classic cartoon character.



Want to phone a glacier in Iceland?

A unique work of art, unveiled today, invites viewers to phone a glacier in Iceland - and listen to its death throes, live, through a microphone submerged deep in the bitterly cold lagoon which relays the splashes, creaks and groans as great masses of melting ice sheer off and crash into the water.

The dying glacier sounds clearer than the snuffly artist, Katie Paterson, who has been camping out in torrential rain and bitter cold installing the piece.


Prince William Spends Nearly $1,700 On Alcohol

Britain's Prince William shocked staff at a Dorset supermarket by splashing out nearly $1,700 on alcohol. The prince - dressed in a T-Shirt, baseball cap and jeans - filled four trolleys with wines, spirits, beer and snacks during his hour-long shopping spree at Weymouth's Asda store.

The 24-year-old royal even cleared the supermarket out of the popular summer drink Pimms. Store manager Darren Rideout told the Dorset Echo newspaper: "He came in the store at 2:10 p.m. with two bodyguards."He had four trolley loads of shopping which was mainly alcohol and snacks. He cleared us out of Pimm's."

Comment: The kid is obviously preparing for a party... kinda normal, don't you think?


Stolen keys delay start of military mission

Poland's 1,200 troops assigned to NATO forces in Afghanistan will not achieve full combat readiness for up to several weeks due to stolen vehicle keys, the defense ministry said Thursday.

"We had been told a 10 percent theft rate was likely in convoys brought in from Pakistan, but we had not expected the spare car keys to go missing," defense ministry spokesman Jaroslaw Rybak told news channel TVN24.

"We shall have to send away for spares, so it may take from several days to several weeks for our contingent to become combat ready."

Bizarro Earth

NY analyst sues over Borat film

Borat's efforts to glean cultural learnings from the US have upset a New York financial analyst, who is suing 20th Century Fox over a scene in which he was chased down the street by the spoof Kazakh journalist.

Jeffrey Lemerond, a former healthcare analyst at the Carlyle Group , who now works for SAB, a hedge fund in New York, has filed a lawsuit claiming he suffered "public ridicule, degradation and humiliation" in the hit movie, which starred the British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.