Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bizarro Earth

Chinese teenager has 24 fingers and toes

A Chinese teenager was born with six fingers and toes on each hand and foot, China's Xinhua news agency said on Thursday.

Hao Hao, 16, who weighs in at a hefty 135 kilograms (297 lbs), says his extra digits do not interfere with his life and he runs and climbs trees like any ordinary teenager.

However, his extra fingers mean he has difficulty holding a pen and has been unable to continue his education.

Smiley

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Pass the Razor Blades

Consider Kwanzaa and Chanukkah mentioned. One of my favorite activities during the holiday season is going out among the common folk to see how much Fun they're having. And golly, they're having so much fun. I never saw so much fun. Probably termites don't have this much fun. But hold on there, pardner. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of these 'holiday malaise' types you see around. I don't get all despondent and start listening to The Smiths just because people have slapped a coat of glitter and some fairy lights over the smoking ruins of our nation, folks lurching around with manic grins smeared across their anxiety-ridden faces, trying this one last season to stave off the wolves of debt, homelessness, and shame. In fact I'm about as patriotic as they come, where Christmas is involved. Santa Claus, Baby Jesus, and Wal-Mart just about sums up the season for me, and not in any particular order. But there's something a little jaundiced about the proceedings this year, it seems. It could be something as minor as the voices in my head that tell me what I have to do to make the pain go away, or it could be something bigger, like the moral revulsion some people experience when they see millions of mindless zombies shopping their way to penury while the very planet convulses under the strain of their obscene lifestyles. But whatever the source, I find myself feeling kind of down this year. As always.

Beer

Santa in G-string arrested on DUI charge

LOS ANGELES - Some gifts from Kris Kringle are better kept wrapped.

A man in a Santa hat was arrested Sunday night for investigation of drunken driving after he was spotted outside Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood wearing a wig, a red lace camisole and a purple G-string, police said.

Mail

Cards from heaven have dead man talking

Ashland, Oregon - Even in death, Chet Fitch is a card. Fitch, known for his sense of humor, died in October at age 88 but gave his friends and family a start recently: Christmas cards, 34 of them, began arriving - written in his hand with a return address of "Heaven".

Heart

SOTT Focus: Winter Solstice: From Chaos to Creation



©Sott.net
A Gift from SOTT's French Editors (Thanks to all of you! It was excellent wine!)

I'm sitting here at my desk, Christmas Dinner for 17 is over and done with and the leftovers are all covered and arranged on the kitchen table. The dishes are washed and put away, and everyone but me and Ark are watching the Christmas movies. We are enjoying a second glass of a fine French wine - a gift from SOTT's French Crew. So far, it has been a relaxing and pleasant experience except for the one time I had to go out for some last minute items for dinner and had to deal with what the rest of the world is doing for Christmas... it wasn't pretty, I tell you! I was so glad that I don't do that anymore.

Sheeple

Sacrificial sheep row splits up Egyptian couple

A sacrificial sheep, or rather the absence of a sacrificial sheep, has caused the break up of a 16-year-old marriage in Egypt, national media said on Tuesday.

The woman asked a Cairo court to give her a divorce after the husband refused to buy a sheep for the Islamic festival of Eid al-Adha.

The woman, who has only been named as Khadidji, married her husband, Mohamed, when he was poor. However, when his fortunes saw an upturn, and he began to make a better living, she asked him to buy a sacrificial sheep. Mohamed refused.

Cow Skull

Is God's face in Leonardo da Vinci's work?

A new storm is brewing in the world of Leonardo da Vinci theorists after a mysterious group claimed it has used mirrors to uncover hidden biblical images in some of the great master's most famous works.

In recent years, art history scholars have unveiled Templar knights, Mary Magdalene, a child and a musical script hidden in the Italian's paintings.

Magic Wand

All I Want for Christmas Is a Shot of Paralyzing Toxins to the Forehead

Giving the gift of cosmetic change is now hotter than ever this holiday season!

Want to give the breast holiday present ever?

How about the gift that keeps on giving: Plastic surgery!

We've all heard about high schoolers begging for -- and getting -- nose jobs for graduation or sugar daddies funding their girlfriends' lunchtime lipo, but now, just in time for Christmas, you can give the one you love a BOTOX® Cosmetic (Botulinum Toxin Type A) gift card. Just wait until you see the (lack of) expression on her face when she unwraps what she thinks is a $50 Bed, Bath & Beyond gift certificate but is actually the pathway to three-to-six months of eternal youth.

House

Kyrgyzstan touted as ideal delivery hub for Santa

BISHKEK - Seeking a novel remedy to revive its rickety economy, the tiny ex-Soviet state of Kyrgyzstan has declared itself the new home of Santa Claus.

Citing Swedish engineering firm that determined the ideal spot for Santa's global toy delivery hub, officials in this predominantly Muslim country have quickly moved to capitalize on the finding.

Smiley

Baby Jesus statue gets GPS for Christmas

BAL HARBOUR, Fla. - A baby Jesus statue here is getting a Global Positioning System for Christmas. The statue, part of a nativity scene, will be equipped with the device after the previous statue went missing, even though it had been bolted down.

Comment:
"but we may need to rely on technology to save our savior."
Exactly who is saving who?