Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Hello Kitty to punish bad-boy Thai police

Thai police said Monday they have recruited Hello Kitty, the moon-faced global icon of cuteness, as a new disciplinary tool for officers found engaging in "inappropriate" behaviour.

Officers who speak too aggressively to civilians, who fail to turn off their engines when they park their cars, or commit other minor violations of proper conduct will be forced to wear bright pink Hello Kitty armbands as punishment, police Colonel Pongpat Chayaphan told AFP.

Previously such offences were punished by a written reprimand, but Pongpat said that seemed to do little to deter future breaches of conduct.

Health

Woman has pencil removed from head

A 59-year-old German woman has had most of a pencil removed from inside her head after suffering nearly her whole life with the headaches and nosebleeds it caused, Bild newspaper reported on Monday.

Margret Wegner fell over carrying the pencil in her hand when she was four.

Propaganda

Israeli propaganda: Che Guevara and Ariel Sharon are cousins

Funny but its not a joke, this Israeli propaganda is circulating in South-America for few days, an article appeared on South-American newspapers claims that Che Guevara's mother (Celia la Serna) is a Russia-Jew immigrated to Argentina.

Smiley

Exposed undercover reporter flees hackers conference

An undercover television reporter Friday fled from outraged computer hackers that caught her spying on their Las Vegas gathering with a camera hidden in her handbag.

Dateline NBC associate producer Michelle Madigan was heckled and derided as she ran from DefCon, the world's largest computer hackers conference, and raced away in a car.

"They sent a moderately attractive young lady with a purse cam whose mission was to first capture someone on film admitting to a felony, which is really not cool, and second to catch a fed on film," said DefCon spokesman "Priest."

"She was basically trying to do a slam piece."

Stop

Counsellor feels heat after roasting squirrel at camp

Parents complain after kids witness animal grilled and eaten

CHRISTOPHER LAKE, Sask. - A counsellor at a northern Saskatchewan Bible camp is feeling the heat for killing and roasting a squirrel over a campfire.

The bushy-tailed rodent was injured recently after the counsellor at Camp Kadesh, 48 kilometres northwest of Prince Albert, threw a stick in its direction.

Camp director Curtis Anderson said the counsellor destroyed the injured animal and wanted to prove that nothing should go to waste by skinning and roasting it.

Smiley

Never too late to learn! Australian, 94, earns master's degree

A 94-year-old great-great-grandmother who left school at the age of 12 appears to be the world's oldest recipient of a master's degree, an official with Guinness World Records said Friday.

University of Adelaide graduate Phyllis Turner was awarded her master's degree in medical science earlier this week at a ceremony in her hometown of Adelaide, surrounded by generations of offspring.

Life Preserver

First treatment centre for nail biters

The world's first treatment centre for nail biters is to open in the Netherlands next month.

Director of the new centre in Venlo, Alain-Raymond van Abbe of the Institute for Pathological Onychophagy (IPO) says he and his team have invented an aid to make nail-biting impossible.

"This is the first place ever to tackle this very serious problem," he explained. "We are expecting clients from all over the world."

Wolf

Dog Pees On Computer Server Rack And Shuts Down Business

After working at her new job for only 2 weeks receptionist Lori Stint managed to shut down the daily operations of Action Tools in Lancaster S.C.

After taking her small lap dog to the vet on her day off Stint stopped by Action Tools to pick up her first paycheck. She sat her dog down to talk to another employee in the back office. While the dog was unattended it walked over to the company's small floor computer rack server and did its business all over the set up.

Crusader

Shopkeeper sounds a WWII air-raid siren when a traffic warden is spotted

When traffic wardens started to blitz a quiet corner of suburban London, one shopkeeper decided it was his duty to fight back.

Martin Herdman put up a 1,000-watt public address system outside his shop near Twickenham and recruited a network of "spies" to alert him the instant they spotted a parking attendant in the area.

©Daily Mail
Siren warning: Martin Herdman and his PA system, which alerts customers to parking wardens.

Then, as soon as the alarm was raised, he started playing a recording of a Second World War-style air raid siren over the system.

Evil Rays

Invincible America Assembly Sends Vibes to Bring U.S. Utopia

U.S. stocks had a tough week with the Dow Jones Industrial Average suffering its worst one-week point drop in five years, but a group of meditators promise their good vibrations will send the index past 17,000 within a year.

A group called the Invincible America Assembly made that claim and more on Friday, insisting they have America's prosperity under control and their positive vibes will bring fewer hurricanes and better U.S.-North Korean relations.

Comment: Meanwhile a record number of Americans are suffering the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression while Iraqis and Afghanis are being bombed to oblivion. Maybe you better turn the vibes down before you knock down another bridge.