Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Vader

Watch out! Cheney Going Hunting in New York State


Associated Press
Fri, 26 Oct 2007 16:16 UTC
Attention, late-night talk show hosts: Vice President Dick Cheney is going hunting on Monday.

Cheney became the butt of jokes for shooting a companion in 2006. On Monday, the vice president is picking up his shotgun for an outing in New York's Hudson River Valley. He is expected to spend the day at a hunting club in Dutchess County before returning to Washington.
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Magic Hat

Harry Potter a 'Thatcher satire', says philosopher

Hugh Schofield
Agence France-Presse
Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:00 UTC
HARRY Potter is a left-winger and the seven books by JK Rowling are a diatribe against Thatcherite Britain, a French philosopher said on the day of the last novel's publication in French.

Comment:
"One can equally say that modern England is a world where the Muggles have indeed taken power, first with Margaret Thatcher and then with Tony Blair - a world where the omnipotence of the middle class is given free rein," he said.
What a load of horsehockey! It's not the middle class that has taken over, it is the pathological minority that has forced the middle class to become slaves and mindless drones.

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Smiley

Well, you don't see something like this every day


Reuters
Thu, 25 Oct 2007 00:56 UTC
An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, police said Wednesday.

Police in Western Australia said the 31-year old barmaid pleaded guilty in the local magistrate's court to twice exposing her breasts to patrons at the Premier Hotel in Pinjarra, south of the state capital, Perth.
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Smiley

Navy's Definition of Ignorance: US Signs Maritime Pact With Mongolia

Matthew Lee
Associated Press
Wed, 24 Oct 2007 06:57 UTC
Somebody should have looked at a map.

The State Department with great fanfare on Tuesday signed an agreement with landlocked Mongolia that will allow Mongolian ships to be boarded and searched if they are suspected of carrying weapons of mass destruction.

This despite the fact that Mongolia - a vast land that's home to the Gobi Desert, windswept steppes and largely populated by nomadic yak herders - has no navy at all and lies thousands of miles from open waters.

Still, its tiny merchant marine is recognized as one of 32 "flag of convenience" countries by international maritime authorities.
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Smiley

Ecuador Demands Military Base in Miami


Reuters
Mon, 22 Oct 2007 23:06 UTC
Ecuador's President Rafael Correa, who has refused to renew the lease on the Manta air base on Ecuador's coast which is set to expire in 2009, has demanded a military base in Miami in return.

Correa said "We'll renew the base on one condition: that they let us put a base in Miami - an Ecuadorean base" adding "If there's no problem having foreign soldiers on a country's soil, surely they'll let us have an Ecuadorean base in the US."

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Life Preserver

US: Firefighter revives cat after house fire


Associated Press
Tue, 23 Oct 2007 15:53 UTC
A southern Illinois firefighter is proof that saving lives doesn't just involve people. Firefighter Dave Chambers helped rescue several animals during a house fire last week, including a kitten that wasn't breathing when it was carried out of the home.

Chambers performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on the cat. He said the cat came out of it and, perhaps as a show of gratitude, jumped on his lap and started purring.
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Smiley

Gives new meaning to "going in the car"


Reuters
Tue, 23 Oct 2007 14:21 UTC
If you're stuck in traffic when Mother Nature calls, Japan's Kaneko Sangyo Co. has developed the loo for you.

The manufacturer of plastic car accessories drew back the curtain on Tuesday on its new portable toilet for cars.

The toilet comes with a curtain large enough to conceal users and a plastic bag to collect waste.
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Smiley

Wild turkeys take to Massachusetts cities, towns

Keith O'Brien
Boston Globe
Tue, 23 Oct 2007 13:16 UTC
BROOKLINE - On a recent afternoon, Kettly Jean-Felix parked her car on Beacon Street in Brookline, fed the parking meter, wheeled around to go to the optician and came face to face with a wild turkey.

©Boston Globe/Mark Wilson
A wild turkey strolled along a sidewalk on Beacon Street in Brookline. The birds can grow to weigh roughly 20 pounds and stand 4 feet tall.
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Padlock

Boy's Calls to 911 Lead to Mom's Arrest


Associated Press
Mon, 22 Oct 2007 23:17 UTC
VANCOUVER, Wash. - An 8-year-old boy riding in a car with his mom called 911 several times to report that she wasn't "acting normal," leading to her arrest for investigation of drunken driving and other charges, authorities said.
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Star

Parrot Imitates Fire Alarm, Saves Family


Associated Press
Mon, 22 Oct 2007 23:12 UTC
MUNCIE, Ind. - A noisy parrot that likes to imitate sounds helped save a man and his son from a house fire by mocking a smoke alarm, the bird's owner says.
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