Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Einstein

Dough! Hapless thieves mistake bread for cash

MELBOURNE, Australia - Two Australian robbers thought they were hauling away a big sack of cash from the Cuckoo Restaurant, but it turned out to be bread rolls - and one of them accidentally shot the other in the buttocks during the heist.

Smiley

Man Spends Night Homeless As Sentence

Painesville, Ohio - A Salvation Army worker who was ordered by a judge to spend a night homeless for stealing a holiday kettle containing about $250 returned to court Friday with red eyes and red cheeks.

Eye 1

Hotel guest gets an eyeful in the night

A hotel guest got an eyeful in the middle of the night when he was delivered a human eyeball.

The eyeball had been meant to go to a hospital for a transplant operation, but was wrongly delivered to the hotel.

The guest, at a hotel in Hobart, Tasmania in Australia, was shocked when he received the foam box containing a single human eyeball.

Display

US: Angry Employee Deletes All of Company's Data

When Marie Lupe Cooley, 41, of Jacksonville, Fla., saw a help-wanted ad in the newspaper for a position that looked suspiciously like her current job - and with her boss's phone number listed - she assumed she was about to be fired.

So, police say, she went to the architectural office where she works late Sunday night and erased 7 years' worth of drawings and blueprints, estimated to be worth $2.5 million.

"She decided to mess up everything for everybody," Jacksonville Sheriff's Office spokesman Ken Jefferson told reporters. "She just sabotaged the entire business, thinking she was going to get axed."

©Jacksonville Sheriff's Office
A mug shot of Marie Lupe Cooley released by the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office.

Smiley

Using a Car Might Have Been Better...

A bank robbery suspect was arrested while waiting at a bus stop to make her getaway, police said. Channel Monae Gaskin, 22, was arrested Wednesday after a police officer saw her waiting for a bus and matched her to the description of the robbery suspect. She has been charged with robbery.

''That just wasn't too bright,'' Sandy Springs police Lt. Steve Rose said of the escape plan.

A woman went into a bank shortly after 1 p.m. Wednesday and demanded money, police said. She did not show a weapon.

Book

US: Library Gets Book Back After 57 Years

It's a novel but it's created a mystery - where has the overdue book been for the past 57 years? "We don't have records that go back that far," said Lori Belongia, director of the Marshfield Public Library. "We don't know who checked it out."

The book "Northern Lights" by Roger Vercel turned up in the book drop about a month ago.

Published in 1948, its most recent checkout stamp reads either March or May 10 of 1950.

House

Hmmm. Didn't I Have a House Here?

Moscow - Returning home after an absence can mean unpleasant surprises - a leaky roof, a pet's mess, even a break-in. But a Russian woman got a nastier surprise when she returned from her country house: her home was gone, torn down mistakenly by construction workers clearing a site, according to a report Thursday on NTV television.

Stormtrooper

Navy lose cool with £325m carrier

A £325million Navy aircraft carrier had to turn back two days into a mission - after its fridge broke down.

HMS Illustrious, complete with hi-tech weaponry, was heading for the Indian Ocean with nearly 1,000 crew on board when it returned to port yesterday.

Staff had discovered a fault in the giant fridge so chiefs set a course for Portsmouth dockyard where refrigeration experts were waiting to start the £10,000 repair, reports The Sun.

Black Cat

Update! Cat Stowaway Makes It Home Again



©AP Photo/Sun-Sentinel, Rhonda Vanover
Seth and Kelly Levy, of Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. holds their 10 month old cat, Gracie Mae at home in Palm Beach Gardens.

Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly picked up by a stranger far from home?


Comment: How did a cat get through an airport x-ray and not be seen???


Arrow Down

Satire: Idiot stockbrokers continue to ruin your life

STOCKBROKERS are preparing for a third day of running around and waving their hands in the air, shouting 'nooooooooooooooooooo!!!'.

©Unknown
Look at this picture of a meadow for a while.

In London, the FTSE 100 ate all its clothes and crashed its Aston Martin into the Bank of England before running around the Monument shouting 'nooooooooooooo!!!'.