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Fri, 03 Feb 2023
The World for People who Think

Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Advice on calamities

Gather round, young people, because it's back-to-school time, and Uncle Dave wants to give you some important advice to help you excel in the classroom and have successful, rewarding careers, assuming that the Earth is not destroyed by giant comet chunks.

©Painting by James Christensen

Arrow Up

Dancing with an oligarch bear: World's most expensive book

A British entrepreneur is selling what is believed to be the world's most expensive book - for £3 million. Roger Shashoua is offering a diamond-encrusted edition of his new book Dancing With The Bear. He says Russian tycoons are the target readers for the made-to-order book which features more than 600 flawless diamonds. The book is an account of how the author made £100m through business in post-Soviet Russia.


Have some sympathy for the devil - Smoking With the Stones

The world as we know it almost came to an end this week when Keith Richards and Ron Wood defied Britain's new anti-smoking law and lit up during a concert in Greenwich. We were surprised to learn that these two aging artists had any bad habits at all -- but that should be more of a concern to their respective families and their physicians.


Panda gives birth to cub at Austria zoo

VIENNA - A giant panda on loan from China gave her Austrian zookeepers a surprise Thursday: the first panda cub born in Europe in 25 years. Caretakers at the Schoenbrunn Zoo detected the cub on a surveillance camera after hearing little squeals coming from an enclosed compound where the mother, Yang Yang, had retreated. Zookeepers had not been certain Yang Yang was pregnant.

A photograph released by the zoo showed Yang Yang, a first-time mother, holding the tiny creature in her mouth and looking up toward the camera.

©AP/Tiergarten Schoenbrunn
In this photo taken by a surveillance camera and released by the Schoenbrunn zoo in Vienna, female panda Yang Yang holds her newborn baby in her mouth, on Thursday, Aug. 23, 2007. For the next two or three month Yang Yang and her baby will spend in the enclosed area where she gave birth.


Woman, 71, Arrested for 'Special' Plant

GREENSBORO, N.C. - A 71-year-old woman was arrested on drug charges after a chest-high marijuana plant was found in her yard, a plant she said was meant to keep animals away from her garden.


Belching moose emit greenhouse gases

A grown moose belches out methane gas equivalent to 2,100 kilograms of carbon dioxide a year, contributing to global warming, Norwegian researchers said yesterday.

Magic Wand

Spoon Drop Saves Woman From House Blast

SODUS, N.Y. - Dropping something may have saved Joy Horton's life. The 73-year-old woman was preparing some food in her western New York home on Monday morning when she dropped a spoon on the floor of her kitchen. When she bent down, her house exploded.


Catholic Priest on Fox News suggests 'Allah' is god of terrorism

Fox News reported Monday that a Roman Catholic bishop in the Netherlands has suggested that Christians start referring to "God" as Allah as a way of bridging the cultural divide. Fox then invited Father Jonathan Morris, a Catholic priest, and Imam Shamsi Ali of the Jamaica Muslim Center to debate this proposal.

Comment: Thank you Fox for offering yet another "enlightened" commentary on which deranged ceator demiurge is better.


Les' bizarre record

He spent 15 years, from 1983 to 1998, typing out all of the numbers from one to one million (in letters not numerals), simply because he "wanted something to do."

It's official, Les Stewart has done something very bizarre.

In fact, he has done something so strange that nine years after the Mudjimba resident finished doing it, he is still getting notoriety.

Magic Hat

Blind woman tees off, hits Hole-In-One

LEHIGHTON, Pa. - Sheila Drummond didn't need to see her hole-in-one. She heard it.

Drummond, blinded by diabetes 26 years ago, experienced the highlight of her golfing career Sunday, recording an ace on the 144-yard, par-3 fourth hole at Mahoning Valley Country Club.

Playing with her husband and coach, Keith, and two friends in a steady rain, the 53-year-old Drummond hit a driver on the hole. The shot cleared a water hazard, flew between traps and landed on the green, where it hit the flagstick before dropping into the hole.