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Wed, 22 Mar 2023
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Speak 'Bush' in one easy lesson

US President George W. Bush says "nuke-you-lar" not "nuclear," but on Tuesday visitors to the United Nations Internet site could get a handy, abbreviated presidential pronunciation guide for other challenging words.

A quickly remedied glitch momentarily gave visitors to the UN website a version of Bush's UN General Assembly speech that included phonetic spellings for world leaders, a former Soviet satellite, and at least one capital.

Life Preserver

Coach stops runaway horse by biting ear

OKLAHOMA CITY - The coach of Oklahoma City's minor-league hockey team helped prevent a possible stampede of Belgian horses at the Oklahoma State Fair by biting one of the animals on its ear.

Doug Sauter, who coaches the Oklahoma City Blazers of the Central Hockey League, was at the fair Saturday attending the Centennial Expo's Draft Horse Show when he saw a Belgian horse break free from its reins. That caused a chain reaction that spooked other horses, he said Monday.

Comment: A novel way to do the Work!


Oh my...! Pope's robe cut up for 100,000 'holy relics'

Fragments of a cassock worn by Pope John Paul II are being offered for sale to the faithful, causing concern in the Vatican over the resurgence in the veneration of relics.

Devotees of John Paul can apply via e-mail, fax or post for fragments of a white cassock to augment their prayers. A cassock worn by John Paul has reportedly been cut into 100,000 pieces to satisfy demand.


Family's License Plates Deemed Offensive

MERLIN, Oregon - The state of Oregon has ordered a family to turn in the vanity license plates on its cars because their Dutch last name, which is written on the plates, is similar to an offensive word.


Bush Demands That Iran Halt Production of Long Letters

Days after receiving an 18-page letter from Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President George W. Bush called the lengthy missive "an act of war" and demanded that Iran halt its production of long letters at once.

At the White House, aides said that writing a letter of such length to President Bush, who is known for his extreme distaste for reading, was the most provocative act Mr. Ahmadinejad could have possibly committed.

Bad Guys

Satire: Beggars can be choosers! Israel asks U.S. foreign aid be paid in EUROS

Secretary of State Rice has acknowledged a communique from Israeli foreign minister Tzipi Levni which requests that all foreign aid payments and loans from the United States be made in Euros rather than in Dollars. Foreign Minister Levni cited the rapidly declining dollar and it's disfavor as a world currency as reasons for the request.


Bridges for sale! South Carolina mom scoops al-Qaida, bests NSA

Once her son is off to school, Laura Mansfield settles in at her dining room table with her laptop and begins trolling Arabic-language message boards and chat rooms popular with jihadists.

Fluent in Arabic, the self-employed terror analyst often hacks into the sites, translates the material, puts it together and sends her analysis via a subscription service to intelligence agencies, law enforcement and academics.


Comment: The least MSM could do is make their propaganda interesting. Maybe drape an American flag over her shoulders. Throw I picture of 'Madman' Bush behind her. Throw in a line that everyone needs to sacrifice and give their firstborn to the empire, to spread the War of Terror.


Berlusconi says 'I am like Jesus'

The Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, has caused a political storm by comparing himself to Jesus Christ.

Berlusconi has also likened himself to Napoleon, drawing warnings that he might meet his Waterloo


Jesus sandals ditched by Danes

A supermarket chain in Denmark has withdrawn from sale sandals with the images of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary on them after criticism from religious groups.

Local Catholic priests said the image was blasphemous


Pot-bellied Jesus ad irks Church

Catholic bishops in Belgium have protested against a TV ad depicting Jesus as a pot-bellied hippy picking up half-naked women in a nightclub.