Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Magic Wand

We know where the bees have gone! And they won't leave without a fight

Matthew Danchanko has squatters in his new home. And they won't leave without a fight. They're honeybees - tens of thousands of of them. They buzz through the four-bedroom house, creating a low hum and an estimated 100 pounds of honey.

Bizarro Earth

Doh! Homer Painting Upsets Pagans

Pagans have pledged to perform "rain magic" to wash away cartoon character Homer Simpson after he was painted next to their famous fertility symbol - the Cerne Abbas giant.

The 17th century chalk outline of the naked, sexually aroused, club-wielding giant is believed by many to be a symbol of ancient spirituality.

Many couples also believe the 180ft giant, which is carved in the hillside above Cerne Abbas, Dorset, is an aid to fertility.

A giant 180ft Homer Simpson brandishing a doughnut was painted next to the well-endowed figure in a publicity stunt to promote The Simpsons Movie released later this month.

Heart

Britain And America to see other countries (satire)

BRITAIN and America have announced a trial separation during which they will be free to see other countries.

Tensions have been building between the two since the ill-fated decision to buy and refurbish a run-down Middle Eastern state together.

Bulb

Bored Fireman Accused of Fake 911 Calls

GLASGOW, Ky. - A volunteer firefighter in south-central Kentucky was arrested after allegedly making false 911 calls because he was bored, police said.

Ambulance

Ariz. hospital sends patient a $49M bill

Hundreds of people who were treated at a southern Arizona hospital received exorbitant medical bills as high as $49 million because of a computer error.

A malfunction in new computer software occurred July 2 and affected statements for 587 patients who were treated at Northern Cochise Community Hospital in Willcox, said Kim Aguirre, director of patient financial service for the hospital.

Bomb

It's a miracle! Elvis' face found in a rock

You can't think about rock without thinking of Elvis. Not this rock, anyway.

©AP Photo/ The Coloradoan
LaDell Alexander displays a rock with an image resembling Elvis Presley, circled, July 12, 2007, in Estes Park, Colo. Placed next to the rock is a photo of Elvis Presley. Alexander, 60, plans to sell it on eBay on the 30th anniversary of Presley's death.

Comment: You have to admit. It does look a lot like Elvis. But, who is that peaking out from behind the rock? Jimmy Hoffa?


Bulb

Man Calls 911 to Save Him From Police

LARGO, Fla. - A 38-year-old man was arrested after he called 911 and told a dispatcher he was surrounded by police officers and needed help, authorities said.

USA

Couple: 'Angels' Spotted In Florida Sky Photos

A couple from South Carolina vacationing in Florida said family photos of the sky show angels in the clouds.

Rev. Glenn Fulton and his wife Linda were celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary in Amelia Island, Fla. during the Fourth of July weekend when they went for a walk to pray.

As the couple asked God for guidance, they said they snapped some photographs of the sunrise.

©Local6.com

Magnify

Squirrel Spy Ring in Iran? Thats Nuts!

Police in Iran are reported to have taken 14 squirrels into custody - because they are suspected of spying.

The rodents were found near the Iranian border allegedly equipped with eavesdropping devices.

The reports have come from the official Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA).

When asked about the confiscation of the spy squirrels, the national police chief said: "I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information."

The IRNA said that the squirrels were kitted out by foreign intelligence services - but they were captured two weeks ago by police officers.

Light Saber

Iceland ranks top in happy citizen table

Iceland is the leader in a league table judging the European country best able to give citizens a long and happy life. Estonia comes bottom of the 30-nation survey while the UK lurks below Romania, at number 21 in the chart.