Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Alaska rehab facility takes in orphaned walrus

A young walrus is exploring new surroundings at the Alaska SeaLife Center after first appearing without its mother about a month ago near the Red Dog Mine port facility south of Kivalina.

The walrus, born last year and weighing over 400 pounds, seemed exhausted and lethargic, hauling out on the backs of zinc ships as they were loaded. It eluded several attempts to capture it, until last Thursday.

©AP Photo/Alaska SeaLife Center
In this photo released by the Alaska SeaLife Center shows young walrus at the Alaska SeaLife Center in Seward, Alaska Friday Sept. 21, 2007. The walrus was found without its mother in late August near the Red Dog Mine port facility south of Kivalina, Alaska.

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Nudity and Everest don't mix

Nudity could be outlawed on the world's tallest mountain complaints about the number of climbers attempting to reach its summit without clothes

Nepalese mountaineering authorities are reportedly outraged that people were ditching their clothes on Mount Everest, which is worshipped by some villagers.

Penis Pump

Speak 'Bush' in one easy lesson

US President George W. Bush says "nuke-you-lar" not "nuclear," but on Tuesday visitors to the United Nations Internet site could get a handy, abbreviated presidential pronunciation guide for other challenging words.

A quickly remedied glitch momentarily gave visitors to the UN website a version of Bush's UN General Assembly speech that included phonetic spellings for world leaders, a former Soviet satellite, and at least one capital.

Life Preserver

Coach stops runaway horse by biting ear

OKLAHOMA CITY - The coach of Oklahoma City's minor-league hockey team helped prevent a possible stampede of Belgian horses at the Oklahoma State Fair by biting one of the animals on its ear.

Doug Sauter, who coaches the Oklahoma City Blazers of the Central Hockey League, was at the fair Saturday attending the Centennial Expo's Draft Horse Show when he saw a Belgian horse break free from its reins. That caused a chain reaction that spooked other horses, he said Monday.

Comment: A novel way to do the Work!


Sheeple

Oh my...! Pope's robe cut up for 100,000 'holy relics'

Fragments of a cassock worn by Pope John Paul II are being offered for sale to the faithful, causing concern in the Vatican over the resurgence in the veneration of relics.

Devotees of John Paul can apply via e-mail, fax or post for fragments of a white cassock to augment their prayers. A cassock worn by John Paul has reportedly been cut into 100,000 pieces to satisfy demand.

USA

Family's License Plates Deemed Offensive

MERLIN, Oregon - The state of Oregon has ordered a family to turn in the vanity license plates on its cars because their Dutch last name, which is written on the plates, is similar to an offensive word.

Bomb

Flashback Bush Demands That Iran Halt Production of Long Letters

Days after receiving an 18-page letter from Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President George W. Bush called the lengthy missive "an act of war" and demanded that Iran halt its production of long letters at once.

At the White House, aides said that writing a letter of such length to President Bush, who is known for his extreme distaste for reading, was the most provocative act Mr. Ahmadinejad could have possibly committed.

Bad Guys

Satire: Beggars can be choosers! Israel asks U.S. foreign aid be paid in EUROS

Secretary of State Rice has acknowledged a communique from Israeli foreign minister Tzipi Levni which requests that all foreign aid payments and loans from the United States be made in Euros rather than in Dollars. Foreign Minister Levni cited the rapidly declining dollar and it's disfavor as a world currency as reasons for the request.

Propaganda

Bridges for sale! South Carolina mom scoops al-Qaida, bests NSA

Once her son is off to school, Laura Mansfield settles in at her dining room table with her laptop and begins trolling Arabic-language message boards and chat rooms popular with jihadists.

Fluent in Arabic, the self-employed terror analyst often hacks into the sites, translates the material, puts it together and sends her analysis via a subscription service to intelligence agencies, law enforcement and academics.

©AP


Comment: The least MSM could do is make their propaganda interesting. Maybe drape an American flag over her shoulders. Throw I picture of 'Madman' Bush behind her. Throw in a line that everyone needs to sacrifice and give their firstborn to the empire, to spread the War of Terror.


Bomb

Flashback Berlusconi says 'I am like Jesus'

The Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, has caused a political storm by comparing himself to Jesus Christ.

©AP
Berlusconi has also likened himself to Napoleon, drawing warnings that he might meet his Waterloo