Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Magic Hat

Fred, Fred, Fred: Thompson's Challenge Has a Name

In the swampy soup of hopefuls for the 2008 presidential election, there is a man with a funny name. (No, not that one.)

We're thinking of the one named Fred (Thompson).

Say it out loud. Do it. Fred. Fred. In the South, Fray-ud.

Fur-red-duh.

It has the tonal quality of something being dropped on the floor, something heavy and damp-ish.

Waterlogged paper towel.

Fred.

Heart

Twist of fate

A father posed for a publicity picture in a desperate attempt to find the daughter he has not seen for ten years unaware she was just a few yards behind him.

©Suffolk Free Press
Stunning fluke - long-lost daughter Lisa (circled) was passing with her mother and daughter just at the moment her father, Londoner Michael Dick, posed for our picture with other daughters Samantha (right) and Shannon.

UFO

Haiti UFO Video Hoax Exposed!


Star

Angry owl fowls up burglars, causes car crash

Addy the owl is recovering from a dislocated leg after foiling burglars who stole her from her owner's home - by biting them until they hurled her out the window of their getaway car and crashed.

The three-year-old bird was snatched on July 25 by crook Jason Denton, 23, who sped away in a stolen car.

Police gave chase and the bird began pecking at Denton's face and arms until he lost patience and threw her out of the window.

But the thief and his accomplice had their feathers ruffled so much the car, that had reached speeds of 65mph, then spun out of control and crashed in a car park.

Ambulance

Politicians risk waking up: Ottawa to shut off fluoride to water

Ottawa's drinking water has been without cavity-fighting fluoride for extended periods in recent months because of a shortage of the chemical across North America.

Wine

Drink-Drive Suspect Eats His Socks

A suspected drunk driver has shocked police in Canada by using some strange tactics to avoid a breath test.

The 19-year-old man drank contact lens solution and tried to eat his socks when he was stopped by an officer in Walkerton, Ontario.

The suspect has been found sitting in his car with the lights off on a country road.

He was arrested when a police officer approached the vehicle and concluded the man was drunk.

As the officer prepared breath test equipment, the suspect grabbed a contact lens case in his car.

Smiley

Rural climate change sceptics shock kayaker

A man paddling and pulling his kayak from Brisbane to Adelaide to promote the need for action on climate change says he is disappointed with the sceptical nature of outback Australians.

Battery

Beheaded snake sends man to hospital

PROSSER - Turns out, even beheaded rattlesnakes can be dangerous. That's what 53-year-old Danny Anderson learned as he was feeding his horses Monday night, when a 5-foot rattler slithered onto his central Washington property, about 50 miles southeast of Yakima.

Anderson and his 27-year-old son, Benjamin, pinned the snake with an irrigation pipe and cut off its head with a shovel. A few more strikes to the head left it sitting under a pickup truck.

Smiley

Man Living in Car Since '00 Upsets City

PITTSBURG, Kan. - Steve Graham might not be in the doghouse over a dispute with his wife, but as far as his neighbors are concerned, he's not far from it. For the past seven years, Graham, 55, has been living in his car parked in the backyard of a house he and his wife, La Donna Graham, own.

Wine

UK Great white shark lie exposed

A great white shark allegedly seen off the coast of Britain has turned out to be a great white lie.

Nightclub bouncer Kevin Keeble this week admitted that frightening photos he claimed were taken near Cornwall were snapped on a fishing trip off the coast of South Africa.