Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bomb

Flashback Berlusconi says 'I am like Jesus'

The Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, has caused a political storm by comparing himself to Jesus Christ.

©AP
Berlusconi has also likened himself to Napoleon, drawing warnings that he might meet his Waterloo

Bomb

Flashback Jesus sandals ditched by Danes

A supermarket chain in Denmark has withdrawn from sale sandals with the images of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary on them after criticism from religious groups.

©AP
Local Catholic priests said the image was blasphemous

Bomb

Pot-bellied Jesus ad irks Church

Catholic bishops in Belgium have protested against a TV ad depicting Jesus as a pot-bellied hippy picking up half-naked women in a nightclub.

Smiley

Seven-year hitch

A German politician has proposed a law making marriage contracts null and void after seven years, with the option to renew for those not feeling the proverbial itch.
"I propose that marriages lapse after seven years,''
Gabriele Pauli told reporters in Munich, the capital of the largely Catholic southern state of Bavaria.

Magic Wand

Seagull becomes cheese Doritos shoplifter

A seagull has turned shoplifter by wandering into a shop and helping itself to crisps.

©BBC
The seagull has been nicknamed Sam by locals

Smiley

'God' Apparently Responds to Lawsuit

LINCOLN, Neb. - A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response. One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

©AP Photo/Nati Harnik, file
Nebraska's longest-serving state senator says he is suing the Almighty to make a legal point.

Bulb

Man Calls Feds About His Lost Cocaine

SEATTLE - Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr. On four occasions since last December, Carr either crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.

Bizarro Earth

US: Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers Sues God

State Sen. Ernie Chambers is suing God. He said on Monday that it is to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.

Chambers said senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all.

"Thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody -- even God," Chambers said.

Calculator

Unhappy Belgian puts his country on eBay

The keys of the kingdom were posted on eBay.

Fed up with a three-month political standoff, a Belgian teacher posted an ad on the online auction site: "For Sale: Belgium, a Kingdom in three parts ... free premium: the king and his court (costs not included)."

Gerrit Six placed the advertisement on Saturday, offering free delivery, but pointing out that the country was coming secondhand and that potential buyers would have to take on more than $300 billion in national debt.

Monkey Wrench

Married couple connect in chatroom, decide to divorce

A married couple are divorcing after they chatted each other up on the Internet using fake names.

Sana Klaric and husband Adnan poured their hearts out to each other over their marriage troubles.

Using the names 'Sweetie' and 'Prince of Joy' in a online chatroom, the pair thought they had found a soulmate with whom to spend the rest of their lives.