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Tue, 22 Jan 2019
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Slovenian man builds a time machine to take him to the 45th century for 20 seconds

time machine

Don’t forget the soldering iron
Here we go again. Either a man in Slovenia has developed an operational time machine or the teachers in Ljubljana are doing a better job than others around the world at teaching creative writing. In what has come to be the standard modus operandi of alleged time travelers, this one covered his face, had his voice distorted and use only a first name. However, unlike most others, he showed his "homemade" time machine so that intrepid copycats might join him in traveling to the 45th century. Grab some computer parts and duct tape, get ready for a huge electric bill and let's see if we can meet "David" somewhere in the future.
"The first traveling with my machine lasted 20 seconds then I started to prolong the time and I saw many interesting things. I even saw the aliens, which lives inside us. I communicated with the future people. I too much wanted to bring all the facts but I understand that my invention could bring harm and evil."

Comment: Invasion of the time travelers


Blue Planet

Dear flat Earth conspiracy theorist: This selfie from the top of Everest shows Earth as round

Flat earth 1
© ISTOCK / EGAL
Most people over the age of five know that the Earth isn't flat. But for some reason the flat Earth conspiracy just won't go away.

Although there is already an overwhelming body of evidence which suggests that the Earth is round, one picture might have just put all the theories to bed once and for all.

Flat earth 2
© Reddit / Amazed_Spirit

Comment: There is actually nothing you can do to convince a flat Earther otherwise. Any and all evidence to the contrary will be explained away illogically. Perhaps that's what makes it so funny. Or scary. See: The real conspiracy: Flat earth is a psyop


Hearts

Trump and Macron: 'We do have a very special relationship. VERY special'

Trump Macron

"Come with me, Manny - our relationship's gonna be Yuuuge"
Power moves or le bromance? During a recent visit to the White House, French President Emmanuel Macron was the latest world leader to experience President Trump's awkward power handshakes and oddly-timed affection. Watch how he handles these cringe-worthy moments.


Smiley

Are you secretly a Russian troll? Take this quiz and learn the awful truth!

Troll
Based on Atlantic Council's guide to identifying Russkie trolls

Dear Reader,

You, yes you, may be a Russian troll. Either that, or the Atlantic Council is the thoroughgoing exponent of Neocon doctrine. Yes, of course, we already knew that. But we may as well take some amusement out of the confirmation. We have collected every tool from Atlantic Council Fellow Ben Nimmo's guide, where he writes: "Here's the sort of evidence which does help ID possible troll-factory accounts." Then we turned them into questions:

Rainbow

Deaf and partially blind dog stays by girl's side for 15 hours in Australian bush then leads her to safety

dog australia wilderness save girl

Max
Blue heeler Max was awarded a police honour after staying by her side for more than 15 hours in the wild and eventually leading rescuers to the child.

Max came to the rescue after three-year-old Aurora went missing when she wandered off into bushland on a rural property in Queensland state.

Emergency services launched a desperate search for her on foot and from the air on Friday, but could not find her.

But they were aided in their search by the 17-year-old dog, who had stayed with the child during a rainy night before leading her distraught family and rescuers to her on Saturday morning.

Comment: See Also:


Attention

DNC files lawsuit alleging US should never, ever stop focusing on 2016 election

DNC chairman Tom Perez
© DNC chairman Tom Perez
Demanding greater accountability for the race's outcome, the Democratic National Committee reportedly filed a multimillion-dollar lawsuit Friday alleging that the nation should never, ever stop focusing on the 2016 presidential election.

"Our lawsuit lays out, in no uncertain terms, that the nation should never under any circumstances move on from the 2016 election results," said DNC chairman Tom Perez, adding that the 66-page lawsuit filed in a New York federal court asserts that the American people must remain solely preoccupied with every little goddamn detail from the 2016 presidential race.

Attention

Most shocking things revealed in the Comey memos

James Comey

James Comey, former FBI Director
A series of memos written by former FBI director James Comey and released to Congress Thursday by the Justice Department provide more insight into his relationship with President Donald Trump, as well as offer information pertinent to the ongoing investigation into his administration's ties to Russia. The Onion presents the most shocking revelations from the Comey memos.
  • The memos confirm the existence of compromising footage of Trump being sworn in as president of the United States of America.
  • According to Comey, Hillary Clinton forgave him for the email scandal the day before the election.

Snakes in Suits

Kim Jong-un 'warming to US' after CIA chief Pompeo shows sodomised Gaddafi video

Kim Jong-un
In a complete turnaround from previous encounters, CIA director Mike Pompeo somehow forged a "good relationship" with Kim Jong-un following a secret visit and a chat, WWN can confirm.

Pompeo met the North Korean leader earlier this month to discuss possible direct talks between himself and Donald Trump over ongoing missile testing which defied international law.

"We had a really nice discussion about various different things including past events in world history," the CIA explained. "He was dubious at first, but Kim really warmed up when I showed him some old footage of Colonel Gaddafi being captured, sodomized with a gun and then murdered by his own people.

"He was strangely quiet then, so I assumed he just liked that kind of thing and then showed him Saddam Hussein being hung, followed by some declassified footage of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bomb blasts.

It is understood Kim Jong-un quickly came around to the idea of talks and even went on to suggest peace talks with South Korea, and asked the director if he'd like some money.

"It's amazing the change in him and we really look forward to the talks between our two great nations," Mr. Pompeo concluded, before winking and tapping the tip of his nose with his finger.

Coffee

Black conservative comedian trolls Starbucks by demanding free reparations coffee - and gets it

hotep jesus
A white Starbucks barista probably violated company policy when she handed over a free coffee to a black man who demanded it in the name of race "reparations."

Bryan Sharpe, who goes by "Hotep Jesus" on Twitter, filmed himself going into a Starbucks store to demand a "free coffee" because they're "racist."


Comment: Context:




Smiley

Jesus was an alien from Venus says the Aetherius Society

Jesus from Venus
© YouTube/Outer Places
Depending on your religion, you may believe that Jesus Christ was just a man, that he was the son of God, or that he never existed at all, but maybe all of those options are wrong. There's one international group of spiritualists called The Aetherius Society that believes that Jesus was definitely real, but they say the Bible got it wrong-he was not from this planet.

The group was founded in the mid-1950s by a man named George King, who claimed to have been contacted by an alien named Aetherius. King's society says on its website that it is "dedicated to spreading, and acting upon, the teachings of advanced extraterrestrial intelligences," and one of those intelligences that King learned from was "Master Jesus."

King spoke in the past about meeting Jesus on a hill at a place called Holdstone Down.