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Sun, 20 Jan 2019
The World for People who Think

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Yummy mummy: Over 4,000 people want to drink 'skeleton sludge' from Egyptian sarcophagus

© The Ministry of Antiquities / Reuters
The much-feared black sarcophagus recently opened in Egypt may not have released any curses (that we noticed, at least) - but it certainly seems to have awakened strange desires in some people.

It would seem the story of the mysterious black sarcophagus has had its happy ending: all of the historic discovery with none of the bad mojo. But no, the weirdness is not over just yet. Now, over 5,300 people say they want to drink of the murky liquid that was discovered in the sarcophagus along with ancient bones.


Sacha Baron Cohen's 'Who Is America?' takes aim at Republicans

who is america sacha baron cohen
Sacha Baron Cohen is back to the business of eliciting embarrassing commentary all right.

A 10-minute-long sampling of his new series Who Is America?, which finds major political figures, including Sarah Palin and disgraced former Alabama senate candidate Roy Moore, saying things they might not ordinarily say about politics in front of the camera, has been released online ahead of the show's Sunday premiere.

In the clip (below), Cohen introduces his newest alter ego: Col. Erran Morad, a self-proclaimed anti-terrorism expert who believes the NRA's suggestion to arm school teachers falls short, and the organization should instead be focused on arming children themselves.

Comment: Cohen is currently taking heat from right-wingers who don't appreciate being duped for the sake of lampooning. But after watching the clip above, it seems these guys essentially got what was coming on their over-the-top ideological viewpoints.

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'Reality check': Roy Keane blasts Ian Wright for 'getting ahead of himself' and over-blowing England's World Cup chances

Roy Keane, far left, and Ian Wright, second right, were embroiled in an astonishing row during the aftermath of England's semi final defeat to Croatia

Roy Keane, far left, and Ian Wright, second right, were embroiled in an astonishing row during the aftermath of England's semi final defeat to Croatia last night
Roy Keane has been slammed as a 'miserable git' after he blasted Ian Wright and the rest of the England fans for 'getting ahead of himself' and over-blowing the country's chances in the World Cup.

The former Manchester United midfielder was highly critical of England fans and pundits alike for 'planning for the final' before the Croatia defeat.

But former Arsenal striker Wright defended the fans and said people deserved to get excited about the team after several disappointing tournaments over the past three decades.

The row went on until Wright mocked Keane's Irish accent, causing the infamous hardman to give a withering look towards the camera and direct a 'death stare' back at Wright.

Viewers took to social media to back up Wright and blast Keane's cynicism, labelling the former Ireland captain a 'right sour git'.

Black Cat

Cat-astrophic TV interview? This Polish scientist takes it all in stride

Cat poising
© Shum Gary / Getty Images
You know those parents who seem completely oblivious to the screaming child they're carting around in a crowded supermarket? We have just found the cat owner equivalent.

A Polish political scientist and historian was appearing on Dutch TV to discuss the forced removal of Polish judge Malgorza Gersdorf by the ruling PiS party when his ginger cat decided to make a rather dramatic appearance.

The cat, reportedly named Lisio, stole the limelight when he climbed Jerzy Targalski, sat on his shoulders and proceeded to sniff his ear.


Bob Ross: The artist, the afro, the soothing voice and his untold story

Bob Ross

Bob Ross
Bob Ross. Just his name brings a calm. The soft-spoken painter who didn't make mistakes, only "happy accidents," painted on PBS stations in the 1980s and 1990s. His untimely death in 1995 at the age of 52 occurred just when he was exploding on the pop culture scene. He appeared in a hip MTV spot back when MTV was hip, and then his sudden death seemingly extinguished all he built.

But Bob Ross lives on. There's a Bob Ross bar crawl, and someone's recreating all 403 of his televised paintings. But there's so much people don't know about Bob Ross, so much that will surprise you about the guy with the sweet pipes and sweeter 'fro.

Comment: RIP Bob! Thanks for giving the world so much joy - and a nice way to fall asleep.

Cell Phone

Roaming stork racks up huge phone bill for Polish eco-charity

white stork
© Alexas_Fotos/Pixabay
The white stork was fitted with a GPS tracker
A Polish charity has been hit with a massive phone bill after a GPS tracker it had put on a stork was stolen.

In April 2017, Polish environmental group EkoLogiczna placed a GPS tracker on the back of Kajtek, a white stork, to collect data about the bird's winter migration route as well as its feeding habits.

In the year that followed, Kajtek travelled some 6,000 kilometres but was last recorded on 26 April in the Blue Nile Valley in eastern Sudan.

Penis Pump

College professor halts penis-measurement study over unspecified 'public reaction' to picture requests

shock viewing
A US academic who appealed to the public for penis pictures has canceled her research, which has been "compromised" by "public reaction." She failed to elaborate on what was likely a barrage of lewd pictures sent to her inbox.

It's not unusual for scientific studies to ask for the help of volunteers, but it's not every day that those volunteers are asked to share photos of their penises. But that's exactly what Alice Walker, a sociologist at Missouri State University, did. She also asked the men to measure their penises and say if they believed them to be bigger than average, smaller than average, or below average.

She had no trouble finding volunteers after launching the study on June 18. By June 26, she had already received a few hundred images. But the efforts of willing participants were in vain, because Walker has now canceled the study.


All for a soda: Dumb Canadian crime couple grapples with police, gets tasered, falls through ceiling of convenience store

spruce grove
© Flickertail Times / YouTube
Escaping a convenience store with a can of soda proved an impossible task for a couple of Canadians who, in their cinematic getaway attempt, wrestled police, got tasered and fell through a ceiling, before ending up in jail.

The botched attempt to avoid justice at a Spruce Grove convenience store in Alberta occurred after a suspicious pair of Canadians tried to pay for a can of soda using a stolen credit card. Refusing to let a couple of bucks slide, the responsible store owner called the police.

The subsequent altercation was full of unexpected plot twists, CCTV footage shows. When a Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) officer arrived at the scene, the 28-year-old male suspect pushed his 29-year-old female friend towards the cop and tried to make it out of the door. The falling officer, however, managed to grab his arm and tackle both to the ground, as the store owner, Paul Chauhan, kept watch at the gate.

Leaving his shirt in the clutches of the policeman, the man ran to the backroom of the store, looking for an alternative exit, CCTV footage from multiple cameras at the store showed. At some point the criminal tried to assault the officer using a bag of nuts of some sort before the mountie tasered him.

The female suspect used the chance to make her own daring escape attempt just as her accomplice suddenly evaded the cop and his electric weapon, and she made a dash for the main door, but was blocked by owner Chauhan.

Comment: This town deserves a better class of criminal.


Donald Trump answers comedian's prank call aboard Air Force One

Pres Trump
© Kevin Lamarque / Reuters
A US comedian says the Secret Service paid him a visit after he tricked President Donald Trump aboard Air Force One with a prank call in which he pretended to be a Democratic senator.

Comedian John Melendez posed as Senator Bob Menendez for the joke and says he actually spoke to the president's adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner, while posing as an assistant, before receiving a call back from the president on Thursday.

Melendez, also known as Stuttering John, uploaded a recording of the four-minute conversation to his podcast, in which Trump can be heard revealing his plans to nominate a new Supreme Court judge in "10 to 14 days," following Anthony Kennedy's decision to step down next month.

In the recording, the man identified as Trump also congratulated Senator Menendez for his acquittal in a 2017 bribery case. Menendez was accused of accepting gifts from a Florida eye doctor in exchange for political clout.

Russian Flag

Could neocon war cheerleader John Bolton be a Kremlin double-agent? Some say 'why not?'

© Unknown
It's written all over him!
John Bolton, who has dedicated his life to getting Iran - a Russian ally - bombed, has revealed himself as a Kremlin agent after shaking Putin's hand in Moscow, according to Russiagate's most levelheaded disciples.

The US National Security Advisor met with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Moscow on Wednesday, laying the groundwork for a meeting between Putin and Trump.

The arch-hawk has accused Russia of aligning with Iran, "the world's most important financier of terrorism," and throwing its weight behind an "axis of evil." But Bolton's decision to meet with Putin can mean only one thing, according to celebrated connoisseurs of baseless Russiagate conspiracies: John Bolton has been compromised.

Neocon stenographer Michael Weiss has led the charge, hinting that Bolton's presence in Moscow suggests that the Russians probably have a video of him getting urinated on by a prostitute.

Comment: "Boltongate?" As one gate closes, another opens...