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Sun, 28 Aug 2016
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'God' Apparently Responds to Lawsuit

LINCOLN, Neb. - A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response. One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

©AP Photo/Nati Harnik, file
Nebraska's longest-serving state senator says he is suing the Almighty to make a legal point.

Bulb

Man Calls Feds About His Lost Cocaine

SEATTLE - Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr. On four occasions since last December, Carr either crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.

Bizarro Earth

US: Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers Sues God

State Sen. Ernie Chambers is suing God. He said on Monday that it is to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.

Chambers said senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all.

"Thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody -- even God," Chambers said.

Calculator

Unhappy Belgian puts his country on eBay

The keys of the kingdom were posted on eBay.

Fed up with a three-month political standoff, a Belgian teacher posted an ad on the online auction site: "For Sale: Belgium, a Kingdom in three parts ... free premium: the king and his court (costs not included)."

Gerrit Six placed the advertisement on Saturday, offering free delivery, but pointing out that the country was coming secondhand and that potential buyers would have to take on more than $300 billion in national debt.

Monkey Wrench

Married couple connect in chatroom, decide to divorce

A married couple are divorcing after they chatted each other up on the Internet using fake names.

Sana Klaric and husband Adnan poured their hearts out to each other over their marriage troubles.

Using the names 'Sweetie' and 'Prince of Joy' in a online chatroom, the pair thought they had found a soulmate with whom to spend the rest of their lives.

Bizarro Earth

Dozy bank robber in Cyprus falls asleep on the job

A Turkish man who broke into a Cyprus bank to steal from the ATM machine was found fast asleep on the floor by a cleaner who raised the alarm, Cypriot police said on Monday.

The cleaner stumbled over the suspect two hours before opening time and called in the police, who turned up to catch a tired man staggering out of the building.

Bizarro Earth

The accent transplant: Brain surgery leaves Yorkshire boy speaking like the Queen

With her nine-year-old son William lying desperately ill in hospital following emergency brain surgery, Ruth McCartney-Moore prayed that she would one day hear his voice again.

But when he did speak weeks later, she was in for a shock.

He had lost his strong Yorkshire accent and was now speaking the Queen's English.

"We noticed that he had started to elongate his vowels in words like 'bath' which he never did before," said Mrs McCartney-Moore, 45, a music teacher from York.

©NNP
Recovering in hospital: William had a rare strain of meningitis.

Crusader

Love Jesus and have more babies, says Pope amid priest sex abuse scandals

Pope Benedict XVI blasted Europeans for being selfish and not having enough children, in a sermon at the 850-year-old pilgrimage site of Mariazell in Austria.

"Europe has become child-poor. We want everything for ourselves and place little trust in the future," the Pope told a crowd of faithful from his canopied area at an open-air, afternoon mass that took place under heavy rain.

Wine

Nebraska State Senator Sues God

LINCOLN, Neb. - The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he's trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.

Life Preserver

Woman saves dog from python in Hong Kong

A British woman fought with a 14ft (4.5 metre) Burmese python to save her pet dog from being crushed to death on a walking trail in Hong Kong.

Expatriate Catherine Leonard, 41, kicked and punched the snake after seeing it wrap itself around her pet dog, a 20 kg mongrel called Poppy, near her home in the former British colony.