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Mon, 20 Feb 2017
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Ahoy, mateys ! Thar be Jewish pirates!

There's no arrr-guing that pirates are in.

As of last weekend, Disney had plundered $1 billion worldwide with "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," and International Talk Like a Pirate Day -- that's Sept. 19, for you landlubbers -- has gone from an inside joke between two friends to a mock holiday celebrated in more than 40 countries.

©Jewish Journal
Sephardic Jewish pirate Jean Lafitte

Magic Wand

Halloween Fallout: 'Fairy tale' ruined by Facebook

A US man who lied to his boss about a family emergency has been caught out after a photograph of him dressed as a fairy in a tutu at a Halloween party appeared online.

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Kevin Colvin had a little bit of explaining to do when his pictures appeared on Facebook.

Comment: ...and the make-up is not too bad as well. Clearly a lot of effort went into this scheme!


Wolf

Indian man marries dog to cast off curse

A 34-year-old man in the Indian state of Tamil Nadu married a dog on Sunday in order to try to rid himself of a curse he believed had been placed upon him for killing two dogs, local media reported.

Selva Kumar, an agricultural worker, said that when he was 18 years old, "he stoned two mating dogs to death and hung them with a rope from a nearby tree."

Soon after the incident, Kumar told the Hindustan Times newspaper, his "legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear. Only recently, after treatment, I have managed to become mobile and that, too, with a crutch".

Monkey Wrench

Darwin Award Candidate: Best to use tools when loosening lug nut

A man trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun, injuring himself badly in both legs, sheriff's deputies said.

The 66-year-old man had been repairing a Lincoln Continental for two weeks at his home northwest of Southworth, about 10 miles southwest of Seattle, and had gotten all but one of the lug nuts off the right rear wheel by Saturday afternoon, Kitsap County Deputy Scott Wilson said.

Heart

Bride marries drunken groom's brother

Villagers at a wedding in Bihar decided the groom had arrived too drunk to get married, and so the bride married the groom's more sober brother instead, police said on Monday.

©Getty Images
The younger brother readily agreed to take the groom's place beside the teenage bride at her family's invitation, witnesses said.

Bulb

Wisconsin Cop Shocked by Own Taser

MADISON, Wis. - A police officer has been reprimanded for accidentally discharging a Taser, causing an injury _ to the police officer.

Madison police released a report Monday on the July 31 incident, without revealing the officer's name or gender. The department said the Taser accidentally discharged during a standard checkout procedure.

Nuke

Satire: U.S. Intelligence: Iran Possesses Trillions Of Potentially Dangerous Atoms

WASHINGTON - Barely two months after U.N. inspectors in Iran failed to find evidence of an active nuclear weapons program, the Department of Homeland Security uncovered new information Monday proving the Middle Eastern nation has obtained literally trillions of atoms - the same particles sometimes used to make atomic bombs - for unknown purposes.

Attention

Satire: London Met Chief Refuses to Resign after Setting Fire to a Tramp

METROPOLITAN Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair has refused to resign despite setting fire to a tramp in central London.

Sir Ian said he was too important to the fight against terrorism to be forced from his post by people who were sentimental about vagrants.

Smiley

Bush shoots Iraqi insurgents - virtually



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At least virtually Bush has chance of victory

WACO, Texas - US President George W. Bush had a shoot-out with the "bad guys" in Iraq on Thursday, playing a computer game with war veterans that simulates a firefight in Baghdad, the White House said.

Bizarro Earth

South Carolina couple find secret moldy room

Kerri and Jason Brown discovered a secret room behind a bookcase containing a homeowner's worst nightmare - mold. Also in the room was a handwritten note: "You found it!" What the Browns found was a mold problem so serious the previous owner was forced to move, according to the note.