Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Magic Hat

Man 'buys' $3billion CD-ROM on Amazon - just to see what would happen

A man in the U.S. has 'bought' an item on Amazon with a price tag of nearly three billion dollars - just to see what would happen.

Brian Klug spotted the copy of the Discovery Channel's 'Cells' CD-ROM for sale at $2,904,980,000 (£1,800,979,540).

Out of sheer curiosity, convinced the price tag was a mistake, he put in his credit card details to buy it and stepped back to see what would happen next.

Amazon page1
© Amazon/Daily MailMr Klug posted a link on Reddit.com to his emailed confirmation order from Amazon proving that he had indeed purchased the CD-ROM for $2,904,980,000.00 - plus $3.99 shipping and handling (CLICK to enlarge)

Heart

Back from dead - Mother and Baby 2009 Christmas Miracle

A Christmas Miracle- the mother appeared to have died during childbirth. The baby seemed dead on arrival and then - miraculously - both were alive and well.


Bell

Wisconsin: Man's Bank Quip Earns Him Champion Liar Title

Milwaukee - A jab at the woes of the nation's banks has been named the top tall tale of 2009.

The Burlington Liars Club bestowed its highest award Wednesday for this line: "I just realized how bad the economy really is. I recently bought a new toaster oven and as a complimentary gift, I was given a bank."

The quip earned Larry Legro of Sun Prairie, Wis., the dubious - but serious - distinction of being the year's World Champion Liar.

"I was ecstatic," said Legro, 58, a state health inspector. "I told people all year I was planning to win this contest."

Legro told The Associated Press he had been submitting entries for four to five years, even if his wife didn't share his enthusiasm.

Magic Wand

Nebraska Troopers Finds Gift-Wrapped Pot in SUV

Scottsbluff - A Nebraska trooper found an unexpected holiday present at the end of a police chase. The Nebraska State Patrol says the trooper found 7 pounds of gift-wrapped marijuana inside an SUV that ran off the road during a chase in Morrill County.

The patrols says the trooper tried to stop the SUV for failure to signal on Tuesday. After a short pursuit, the SUV turned into a cornfield.

The patrol says the driver fled on foot but was captured a short time later. A passenger, who was pregnant, remained in the SUV and was arrested.

The patrol says the two face charges of possession of marijuana with intent to deliver.

Cell Phone

Tweets, Sexting "Unfriended" in U.S. Banned Word List

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© Mario Anzuoni/ReutersA Twitter page is displayed on an Apple iPhone in Los Angeles.
If you recently tweeted about how you were chillaxin for the holiday, take note: Fifteen particularly over- or mis-used words and phrases have been declared "shovel-ready" to be "unfriended" by a U.S. university's annual list of terms that deserve to be banned.

After thousands of nominations of words and phrases commonly used in marketing, media, technology and elsewhere, wordsmiths at Lake Superior State University on Thursday issued their 35th annual list of words that they believe should be banned.

Tops on the Michigan university's list of useless phrases was "shovel-ready." The term refers to infrastructure projects that are ready to break ground and was popularly used to describe road, bridge and other construction projects fueled by stimulus funds from the Obama administration.

And speaking of stimulus, that word -- which was applied to government spending aimed at boosting the economy -- made the over-used category as well, along with an odd assortment of Obama-related constructions such as Obamacare and Obamanomics.

Stormtrooper

A Colonoscopy at Every Airport?

The Underpants Bomber may very well have opened up a whole new chapter in airport security. For example, how long will it be before rectums become the hiding places of choice? What do we do to detect this? The conglomeration of odors may very well either confuse or repel the sniff dogs. In fact, the sniff dogs may lie down and play dead. The security personnel will be required to wear gas masks. They may also call in sick for work more often than usual.

Newspaper

The plot thins ...

The more I read about the latest plane terrorist, the more I know it's all fake.

Yesterday we were told the terrorist himself said the explosive was strapped to his leg, today we are told by the Telegraph, quoting nobody at all, that it was sewn into his underwear. Okay, maybe he was wearing long winter underwear.

The Telegraph, again quoting nobody at all, tells us the explosive was the same as Richard Reid used. Yet in all this time, authorities have not come up with a detection method for this type of explosive?

I can't wait to see what stories the other rags are coming out with.

Mr. Potato

Jesus Image Appears on Banana Peel

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© The Daily TelegraphHoly banana ... Lisa Swinton found an image which resembles Jesus Christ in her fruit bowl.
Sitting down for an after lunch snack turned into a brush with all things holy when Lisa Swinton saw the face of Jesus on her banana peel.

''I was like 'Oh my God! It's Jesus on a banana!''

''I got it out of the fruit bowl and was about to peel it and eat it when I saw his face,'' she told The Daily Telegraph.

The impact of seeing Christ pressed into the banana did not stop the 39-year-old of Haberfield from still eating the fruit and depositing the holy peel.

''I put some photos up on Facebook - one of my friends said it looked like a monkey.''

Ms Swinton is not a stranger to holy visions appearing in day to day household objects.

Snowman

Friends pack apartment with gifts in holiday prank

A Chicago man could be unwrapping the hundreds of Christmas gifts spread around his apartment for days, even weeks.

Trouble is, they aren't really presents. They're his own belongings meticulously wrapped by friends as a prank while he was out of town.

Louie Saunders' packages contain everything from couch cushions to the beer in his refrigerator.

His friend Adal Rifai masterminded the scheme after Saunders gave him a spare key. It took 16 people, 35 rolls of wrapping paper and eight hours to finish the job.

Saunders tells the Chicago Sun-Times he's only been able to unwrap about 10 percent of the packages.

He jokes that the upside is that, with each package he unwraps, he finds something inside that's just what he needs.

Question

Astral mystery endures in Nova Scotia church

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© CBCThe mysterious chancel ceiling at St. John's Anglican Church in Lunenburg, N.S., was reconstructed in 2004 after a fire three years earlier. While locals now know what the star pattern represents, they don't know who originally designed it, or how.

Parishioners at a one of Canada's oldest Anglican churches will be puzzled by an enduring enigma when they gaze heavenward this Christmas.

The chancel ceiling at St. John's Anglican Church in Lunenburg, N.S., has a special pattern of gilded stars on it, and while locals now know what it represents, they have yet to find out who originally designed it, or how.

The conundrum emerged after the church, built in 1754, burned on Halloween night in 2001 as a result of arson. The parish sought to reconstruct the building's interior as closely as possible, and it brought in parishioner Margaret Coolen in 2004 to re-create the ceiling over the altar.

But the church didn't have a complete set of photographs of the original star pattern, so Coolen, hoping the pattern reflected the actual alignment of heavenly bodies in the night sky, sought the help of astronomer David Turner of St. Mary's University in Halifax.