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Mon, 27 Mar 2017
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Tough street-racing law nabs 85-year-old

Toronto - A new law meant to help crack down on young Canadian street racers in their souped up cars has nabbed an octogenarian in his Oldsmobile.

The 85-year-old man is one of 2,300 drivers across Ontario to be charged under new legislation, designed to combat "street racing, stunts and contests", since it came into effect three months ago -- and he's the oldest.

Star

Pope tells astronomers to pack up their telescopes

The Pope has given the Vatican's Jesuit astronomers their marching orders, banishing them and their infernal instruments from his summer palace and billeting them in a disused convent instead.

Question

Bizarre: Scientists in Antarctica stumble upon statue of Lenin

Scientists trekking across a little visited part of Antarctica have discovered a bizarre relic of the Soviet Union is dominating the South Pole of Inaccessibility.

In the middle of no-where - literally the point on Antarctica furthest from the sea - an imposing bust of revolutionary Bolshevik Vladimir Lenin peers out onto the polar emptiness.

©Unknown
SOVIET IN THE SNOW: Top: An imposing bust of Russian revolutionary Bolshevik Vladimir Lenin greets scientists at the South Pole of Inaccessibility - the point on Antarctica that is furthest from the ocean. Below: a new marker is placed at the true South Pole, which sits on a shifting glacier and has to be re-marked each year.

Attention

Man using GPS drives into path of train in New York suburb

BEDFORD HILLS, New York - A Global Positioning System can tell a driver a lot of things - but not when a train is coming.

Life Preserver

12-year-old catches 551-pound bull shark in Florida waters

A 12-year-old Connecticut boy may be the new Florida state record holder for catching the heaviest bull shark.

Aidan Murray Medley had a spent a half day at sea Tuesday when he reeled in the 551-pound bull shark just north of the Palm Beach Inlet.

Smiley

Satire: CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

A report released Tuesday by the CIA's Office of the Inspector General revealed that the CIA has mistakenly obscured hundreds of thousands of pages of critical intelligence information with black highlighters.

Question

Woman in Burning Truck Keeps Driving

PAW PAW TOWNSHIP, Mich. - Having live electrical wires fall on her truck and set it on fire wasn't enough to slow a motorist in southwest Michigan. State police say the unnamed woman ran a stop sign Monday night in Van Buren County's Paw Paw Township and hit a cable supporting a utility pole.

Magic Wand

Traveling without moving: Iron mask wager 'was a fib'

Even the great fictional traveller Phileas Fogg would have baulked at such a wager: walk around the world while pushing a pram and wearing an iron mask, and pick up a wife along the way without ever letting her see your face or know your name.

Beer

Men shoot themselves in tattoo attempt

Getting a tattoo can be a painful proposition, but usually it's just the needle you have to worry about. Two men trying to trace a loaded .357-caliber Magnum as a pattern for a tattoo accidentally shot themselves, the Otero County Sheriff's Department said Monday.

Robert Glasser and Joey Acosta, both 22, were treated at a hospital in El Paso, Texas, after the shooting Thursday evening in nearby Chaparral.

Document

'Surge' makes the banned-words list

Resist the urge to say you will "wordsmith" your list of New Year's resolutions rather than write one. And don't utter, "It is what it is" when you fail to meet your first goal.

Those are two of the 19 words or phrases that appear in Lake Superior State University's annual List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness. The school in Michigan's Upper Peninsula released its 33rd list Monday, selecting from about 2,000 nominations.

Among this year's picks are "surge," the term for the troop buildup in Iraq. "Give me the old days, when it referenced storms and electrical power," Michael Raczko of Swanton, Ohio, said in nominating the word.