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Thu, 20 Oct 2016
The World for People who Think

Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Satire: U.S. Intelligence: Iran Possesses Trillions Of Potentially Dangerous Atoms

WASHINGTON - Barely two months after U.N. inspectors in Iran failed to find evidence of an active nuclear weapons program, the Department of Homeland Security uncovered new information Monday proving the Middle Eastern nation has obtained literally trillions of atoms - the same particles sometimes used to make atomic bombs - for unknown purposes.


Satire: London Met Chief Refuses to Resign after Setting Fire to a Tramp

METROPOLITAN Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair has refused to resign despite setting fire to a tramp in central London.

Sir Ian said he was too important to the fight against terrorism to be forced from his post by people who were sentimental about vagrants.


Bush shoots Iraqi insurgents - virtually

At least virtually Bush has chance of victory

WACO, Texas - US President George W. Bush had a shoot-out with the "bad guys" in Iraq on Thursday, playing a computer game with war veterans that simulates a firefight in Baghdad, the White House said.

Bizarro Earth

South Carolina couple find secret moldy room

Kerri and Jason Brown discovered a secret room behind a bookcase containing a homeowner's worst nightmare - mold. Also in the room was a handwritten note: "You found it!" What the Browns found was a mold problem so serious the previous owner was forced to move, according to the note.

Bizarro Earth

Texan sets record with 87 snakes in tub

DUBLIN, Texas - Another day, another bizarre world record for Jackie Bibby, the "Texas Snake Man." Bibby spent about 45 minutes in a see-through bathtub with 87 rattlesnakes Monday, fully clothed, shattering his own record by 12 snakes just in time for Guinness World Records Day, which is Thursday. A Guinness official certified the record.


Greek pilots refuse to transport Russian soccer fans

Russian soccer fans have spent more than 24 hours at an airport in central Greece after pilots refused to transport them, an airport spokesperson said Saturday.


German flasher strips off in court

A German flasher stunned lawyers during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction by stripping off in court, authorities said on Thursday.

"The court withdrew for deliberations and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again," said a spokesman for the court in the western city of Duisburg. "It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art."


Germany: Man forgets car at petrol station

A German man forgot his car after filling it up at a petrol station, police said on Friday.

"He just forgot about it and walked off home," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Wuppertal.


Tattoos and shaved heads out for China judges

A court in central China has banned on-duty judges from wearing heavy makeup and "frolicking" with colleagues, in an exhaustive list of 55 regulations to improve judicial etiquette.

A notice issued by the high court of Henan, the top judicial authority in the heartland province, also banned judges using certain phrases in the courtroom, including: "Are you the judge or am I?" -- and "You will certainly lose this case."

Judges would not be allowed to wear jewels, Friday's Beijing Times said, citing court spokesman Xie De'an. Holding hands with colleagues is also out, he said.


Texas Border Agents Find Man in Suitcase

EL PASO, Texas - A man hiding in a suitcase and a driver have been detained by Customs and Border Protection officers after a failed smuggling attempt. Authorities believe both men were headed for Denver.