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Sat, 21 Jan 2017
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Ridiculously Funny Medical Stories



©n/a

If you've been a reader of my newsletter for any amount of time, you're already well aware of the many worrisome accounts about the increasing number of medical errors a patient may experience, ranging from improperly prescribed or contaminated medications, to the mistakes health care workers conveniently ignore.

Comment: Who or what is Oscar Meyer? Visit cassiopedia again.


Smiley

Pot suspect served hash cake for lunch

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - A man being held in a Dutch police cell on suspicion of growing cannabis got an unintended treat in his lunch - a piece of hashish-laced cake, a spokesman said Thursday.

"It was an accident," said Alwin Don, police spokesman in the southern province of Zeeland.

Beer

Hangover is main reason for Britons taking sick leave: study

The morning after the night before is the main reason in Britain for employees calling in sick, a study published Wednesday showed.

One in five workers opting to stay in bed do so because of over-indulgence, according to 500 individuals surveyed by Unum insurance company. Scots are the most likely to take sick leave in this way.

"These figures reinforce well-documented and worrying trends that people's drinking habits are impacting on their workplace," said Unum's chief medical officer, Professor Michael O'Donnell.

Question

Mysterious air package contains thousands of dead snakes

Authorities have destroyed nearly 700kg of dead snakes sent to an unknown address in Vietnam via Thai Airways.

According to the bill of lading, the package was fresh fish sent by an Indonesian man to an unclear address in Vietnam on December 15.

Tien Phong newspaper reported that after several days waiting for the receiver, Noi Bai Airport Goods Service Company opened the package as stipulated by the rules on unknown goods. Inside they found hundreds of kilos of dead, malodorous snakes.

Smiley

Will Your Tongue Really Stick to a Frozen Flagpole?

The next time someone triple-dog dares you to stick your tongue to a frozen metal pole - don't. Your tongue will be joined to the pole, and you'll have plenty of time to ponder the thermal conductivity of metal while you await the rescue squad.

Your tongue is covered with moisture, which beings to freeze if its temperature drops below 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Your body counteracts the freezing by pumping warm blood to your tongue.

Heat from your blood warms the moisture through a process called conduction. Heat energy from the blood excites atoms in your tongue. The atoms absorb energy and vibrate. The more they vibrate, the more their temperatures increase. This incites vibrations in neighboring atoms, which take the energy and pass it up the line like a hot potato and eventually warms the surface moisture.

Smiley

Pedestrian charged for walking over car

A pedestrian has been charged with damaging property after walking over a car that was parked illegally on the sidewalk in Greece's congested capital.

"I could not get past the vehicle, a four-wheel drive, which had been parked right on the pavement so I got angry and just walked over it, slightly denting its hood," Tasos Pouliasis told state television Tuesday.

Wolf

Wolf served hamburger in Italian bar

A hungry wolf descended from the mountains in Aquila, central Italy, and went to a local bar searching for food, the Italian ANSA new agency said on Tuesday.

The adventurous wolf entered the packed Cantaflura bar in Italy's Villetta Barrea province on Monday evening. The bar owner said that the wolf behaved very calmly, paying little attention to the other guests.

Fish

Amazing escape of fish



©Dennis Bright

The owners of a trout farm were amazed a photographer caught their fish making an extraordinary escape on camera.

Comment: Swimming against the current ... not such an unnatural thing to do as we might be led to believe!


Penis Pump

The 10 Most Insane Medical Practices in History

Have you ever been left with the impression after a thorough poking, prodding and testicular cupping at the doctor's office that perhaps they don't always know what's best? The thought is usually pushed from your mind, after all these people had to go through years of school and thousands of dollars of their wealthy parents' money to get where they are! If you can't trust them about your health, who can you trust?

Here's the thing though, doctors have a long storied background of not knowing what the hell they're doing. History is filled with stories of hilarious medical ineptitude, and in all likeliness, today's medical practices will be similarly snorted at 100 years down the road. In other words, if you're looking to justify your medical phobia so you can rationalize not getting that ever-growing lump on your neck checked out, you're in the right place.

Comment: We are surprised to not see circumcision or vaccines on the list!

Despite the humorous flavor of the article, it is shocking to realize how the medical establishment and the pharmaceutical companies were - and still are! - taking advandage of their power and titles to rob people while causing them irreparable harm, or even death.



Einstein

Hmm. How Does My Hair Look, Mr. Robber?

ELMWOOD PARK, N.J. - When a robber started taking cash from his register over the weekend, Dunkin' Donuts employee Dustin Hoffmann fought back by clobbering the man with a ceramic mug. But Hoffmann admits he was less worried about the stolen cash than how he might look on the video-sharing site YouTube.