Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Reaction to Bin Laden's Death

Aasif Mandvi expresses surprise, Sam Bee tries to flip Bin Laden's compound, John Oliver continues to cover the royal wedding, and Jason Jones looks forward to flying.


Smiley

Colbert Quotes: In 60 Seconds

Barack Obama laughs hard at an Osama bin Laden joke, and Francis Fukuyama warns Stephen about the Chinese. (01:01)


Smiley

The Daily Show: Big Deady

New Yorkers couldn't be more satisfied that a United States special ops raid killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad.



Cookie

Colbert Report: Long-Awaited 'We Got Bin Laden' Party

As much as it pains Stephen to say it, Obama is the number one most Bin Laden killing president in American history. (05:22)



Smiley

Royal wedding: Vanuatu tribe soon to hold 'world's last royal wedding party'

The world's last party to celebrate the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton will certainly be a joyful affair. But it may not begin for several days.

Vanuatu Tribe Worshippers
© Torsten Blackwood/AFP/Getty Images

The Yaohannen tribe, living on a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, are said to be excited about the royal wedding - but without radios, phones, television or the internet, they are unaware that it has actually happened.

Jacob Kapere, director of the Vanuatu Cultural Centre visited the Yaohannen this week, where he found the tribe planning a special celebration to mark the event. But until he returns to the village some time in the next few days, to tell them that the wedding has happened, the celebrations will not commence.
Vanuatu Worshippers of Edimburgh Duke
© REXTwo members of the Tanna tribe, who worship the Duke of Edinburgh, proudly show the photo he sent them in 1980. He is holding a war club the tribe sent to him.

"This is a very important day for them, they feel that Prince Philip is part of their family, and his grandson is getting married, so that is very special for them," Mr Kapere said.

He added that the tribe would hold a special ceremony and roast a pig in honour of the royal wedding.

"There will be a big feast and everyone from the village will take part, there is a big population there," he said.

USA

Superman threatens to renounce U.S. citizenship

Superman
© unknown
Superman, citizen of the world?

The Man of Steel, in the latest issue of Action Comics which hit newsstands on Wednesday, said he intends to renounce his U.S. citizenship in a speech before the United Nations.

"I'm tired of having my actions construed as instruments of U.S. policy," Superman said in a short story in the issue, Action Comics No. 900 from the Time Warner Inc unit DC Comics.

In the comic, Superman never actually renounces his citizenship, he only talks about his plans to do that.

But conservative commentators reacted with disgust to the new storyline, given that the fictional superhero has long proclaimed he stood for "Truth, Justice and the American way."

In a blog post at The Weekly Standard, senior writer Jonathan Last questioned Superman's beliefs, now that he seems to have rejected the United States.

War Whore

Satire: Al-Qaeda: Latest Missile Attack Bears Hallmarks Of U.S. Military

Iranshah, Pakisan - At a press conference Monday, al-Qaeda spokesman Abu Musab al-Madani stated that last week's missile attack on a terrorist hideout in Pakistan's North Waziristan region bore all the hallmarks of the United States military. "While the investigation is still ongoing, we can say that the timing of the strike, the sophistication of the explosive device, and the fact that it came from a predator drone are all consistent with previous confirmed attacks by American forces," said al-Madani, who noted that the terrorist organization had also received an anonymous tip alleging that the U.S. military was in the advanced stages of plotting one of its regular weekly attacks on al-Qaeda soil.

Alarm Clock

Satire: Games console 'stole millions of players' lives'

playstation
© unknownIf you look into the screen for long enough, the screen looks into you
Millions of Playstation users are in turmoil after it emerged that the console had stolen huge chunks of their existences.

The mass realisation happened during an outage in the Playstation Network, when many players discovered that they had been seated in front of a screen holding a piece of plastic for over a decade, with the curtains drawn.

Technology journalist Tom Logan said: "People bought the machine without realising that unscrupulous games designers had gotten into the software and made it really, savagely compelling for their own nefarious ends.

House

US: Misaddressed marijuana goes to elderly Pennsylvania couple

Upper Darby, Pa. - Police say an elderly Pennsylvania couple was the unintended recipient of a very seedy delivery: a five-pound brick of marijuana.

Police in Upper Darby, just outside Philadelphia, say the couple paid little attention to the package when it was delivered last week. Not recognizing the name, they left it on their porch, expecting it to be picked up.

When nobody claimed the package, the couple opened it to find what police say was $10,000 in high-grade marijuana.

Handcuffs

'They're the experts...': Police call in doctor to tell them headless man is dead

Police beheaded man dead
Dead: Waldemar Drobig's body was found in the River Wandle
When police pulled a headless body from a river, you would not have thought it needed a doctor to confirm the person was dead.

But there are rules and procedures to follow. And a medic was duly called in to declare that the man in question was actually 'life extinct'.

Yesterday a coroner expressed surprise at why a doctor was summoned.

'Even though there was no head, and the maggots, you had to call him in?' Dr Shirley Radcliffe asked Det Insp Chuk Gwams.

The officer replied: 'Yes Ma'am. They are the experts, we are not.'