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Princeton, NJ - The universe, long known as a bleak and unforgiving place where essentially nothing matters, is in fact even crueler and more heartless than previously thought, according to a startling report published Tuesday by scientists at the Institute for Advanced Study.
"That the world we inhabit is brutal, cold, and meaningless has of course been established scientific fact for quite some time," said Dr. Susan Doname, head of the research team that conducted the comprehensive five-year study. "But shockingly, our most recent findings indicate that the brutality, coldness, and meaninglessness are far, far more extreme than we ever realized."
"In fact, the utter futility of it all is a staggering 1.43 million times worse than predicted by our earlier estimates," she added.
The report explains that when it comes to measuring the complete purposelessness of existence, such impossible-to-reconcile-with-a-caring-God phenomena as earthquakes, disease, famine, and basic human cruelty are "small potatoes, really." It goes on to state that research in the field has long underestimated the grim discoveries of the past century: threats such as global thermonuclear war, manmade super flus, total environmental collapse, an entirely random meteor strike wiping out all life in a single blow, and so on.
Commuters in Tokyo had to deal with some slippery conditions on the way to the office his week after being confronted with this soapy street mess.
At first glance, it appears the Japanese capital has been hit by unseasonal snowy weather, but a closer look reveals an entirely different story.
The fluffy white bubbles invaded a street in the district of Ginza after a madcap office employee decided to pour 40 litres of soap powder down the sink.
A road sign in Lancaster County is attracting a lot of attention and getting quite a few laughs.
It's a green sign that PennDOT placed on Route 222 south, notifying drivers that they are approaching Ephrata. Problem is, the town is spelled "Epharta."
"Yeah, a lot of people are talking about it," said Ephrata resident Mary Luter. "I see it all over Facebook and I think it's kind of funny that they misspelled the word since Ephrata's been here for so long."
PennDOT spokesman Mike Crochunis told us that the agency printed six Ephrata signs and only one of them came out Epharta. Very odd.
The department is going to fix it, but not by replacing the whole sign which would cost about $2,100.
"We're going to cut out a section of the two letters that are juxtaposed and put a plate in there," Crochunis said. "It will be aluminum, match up with the sign."
That will still cost several hundred dollars. PennDOT expects the sign to be corrected in a couple of weeks.
Source: WHTM
© Google
The writers of Japanese comedy site Daily Portal Z got word of a Street View camera coming through the area near Mitaka Station, and decided to lay in wait with a few pigeon masks they'd been using to stage absurd photos throughout the city.
The result is just as strange as you'd expect, though the Street View backpacker (traveling the city by sidewalk rather than car in this region) doesn't miss a beat. You can step your way through the flock by going to this location on Google Maps and clicking the path ahead.
Source - Kotaku (In Japanese)
© Amy Smotherman Burgess/News SentinelFive-year-old Madison Jones of Maryville observes a new 11-month-old black bear cub at the Knoxville Zoo's Black Bear Falls exhibit in December. The 115-pound bear came from the Wildlife Center of Virginia, after being found by animal control officers in Waynesboro, Va., traveling with a group of dogs and wearing a dog collar. A black bear apparently broke into the zoo late at night on Monday, June 24, 2013.
While zoos are always alert to keep their exotic animals safely inside their habitats, they rarely experience a wild animal the size of a bear wanting to get inside their boundaries.
It was about midnight when a zoo ranger spotted a young black bear scaling the 10-foot-high chain-link and barbed wire of the zoo's perimeter fence. A neighbor had alerted the zoo a bear had been seen in the Chilhowee Park area, zoo spokeswoman Tina Rolen said today.
A zoo ranger headed to the park area near its herpetology building and close to Chilhowee Park's East Tennessee Discovery Center. The ranger saw the bear - described as a youngster weighing maybe 150 pounds - in Chilhowee Park.
That's when the bear scaled the fence into the zoo.
When Calgary Mayor Naheed Nenshi addressed the city on Sunday, he couldn't believe he had to state the obvious, which apparently wasn't obvious enough.
"I can't believe I actually have to say this," said Nenshi, "but I'm going to say it. The river is closed."
Referring to people who were still using the river while the city was in a state of emergency due to flooding, Nenshi said he couldn't let Darwin's law take care of it...or call people what we can only [assume] are names that include swear words.
Catch the hilarious transcript of Nenshi's address below, or watch the video above.
"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."
No harm, no fowl, say admirers of McNugget, the rooster who shares a downtown Issaquah, Washington parking lot with Your Espresso and Staples stores.
He's not exactly a wild creature, but he's too independent to be considered a farm animal or a pet.
He's a free-range kind of guy.
Since the bantam rooster known as McNugget first showed up in a downtown Issaquah parking lot 11 years ago, he's stuck around and brought smiles to shoppers and passers-by.
Michelle Schneider, owner of the Your Espresso stand on Front Street North, was terrified when the black-feathered bird suddenly appeared one day at her window.
After calming down, she learned he had escaped from a customer of the nearby Grange Supply store. A Grange employee captured him, but he escaped again, and at that point, attempts to catch and return him to his owner ended.
McNugget, who was named in a poll of Your Espresso customers, hasn't left since.
He sleeps in a maple tree next to the espresso stand and splits his days between the coffee shop, a Staples office-supply store and Issaquah Creek.
Baristas and a neighbor feed him chicken feed and mealworms. Customers and other admirers bring him treats.
When he's hungry, he flies up to a serving window.
"If I say, 'Down!' " - Schneider snaps her fingers - "he gets down. He's like a dog."
© Mike Siegel / The Seattle TimesAs she leaves Staples in Issaquah, Katheryn Parker admires McNugget the rooster, who has been wandering the parking lot for 11 years.
He's a free-range kind of guy.
Since the bantam rooster known as McNugget first showed up in a downtown Issaquah parking lot 11 years ago, he's stuck around and brought smiles to shoppers and passers-by.
Michelle Schneider, owner of the Your Espresso stand on Front Street North, was terrified when the black-feathered bird suddenly appeared one day at her window.
After calming down, she learned he had escaped from a customer of the nearby Grange Supply store. A Grange employee captured him, but he escaped again, and at that point, attempts to catch and return him to his owner ended.
McNugget, who was named in a poll of Your Espresso customers, hasn't left since.
He sleeps in a maple tree next to the espresso stand and splits his days between the coffee shop, a Staples office-supply store and Issaquah Creek.
Baristas and a neighbor feed him chicken feed and mealworms. Customers and other admirers bring him treats.
When he's hungry, he flies up to a serving window.
"If I say, 'Down!' " - Schneider snaps her fingers - "he gets down. He's like a dog."
© Cleveland Animal Protective League/APCat nurses a newborn pit bull.
When Noland was merely 1 day old, he was taken to the Cleveland Animal Protective League without his mother.
"Obviously a 1-day-old puppy, even in the best of circumstances, [the chance of survival] is pretty iffy," Sharon Harvey, president and CEO of the CAPL, told Yahoo News by phone. "We want to give him every chance we could."
The staff decided Noland's best chances were to join a litter of nursing kittens. The question: Would the cat accept a puppy into her brood of four? Amazingly, mom-cat Lurlene welcomed the outsider.
The image says it all: The pit bull is being nursed back to health by a very tolerant feline.
"They're a happy family now," said Harvey.
If you suffer from ophidiophobia - an irrational fear of snakes - you may want to think twice before watching the above video. And if you assume that the albino Burmese python opened a closed door purely by accident, know this: Snakes and other reptiles are surprisingly clever.
A 2011 study published in the Journal of the Royal Society: Biology Letters found that lizards are smart enough to solve puzzles to help them find food, and could quickly adapt to changes in those puzzles, meaning they're as smart as some other vertebrates.
These findings upended previous assumptions about how higher intelligence is limited to social species with varied daily diets. Most reptiles are solitary creatures, and many will eat only occasionally, not every day.
Perhaps it's time to deadbolt your doors - and hide the key in a snake-proof container.
A bit of comic relief during the NSA spying "scandal"...
