Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

This is what happens when you attempt to take video of police in Sweden

Well, at least not all countries on this planet are crazy fascist states with cops ready to hog-tie you if you're lucky and shoot and ask questions later, if you're not.


This Swedish cop reminds me of films I've seen about what the daytime-beer-swilling NYPD used to be like during the '70s and '80s! Oh, the good ol' days!

Smiley

Hail, new Prince George! Unworthy are we commoners to be in your presence!

Buckingham Palace
© The Independent, UK
What a week! Oh such boundless joy that transports us to the very heavens! It began with Nicholas Witchell gasping statements such as: "I am informed the royal cervix has currently widened to 9cm, and the Queen is said to be 'thrilled' at this level of dilation."

"The world waits" were the words the BBC put up, and indeed the whole world was thinking of nothing else. Somali fishermen abandoned their nets, saying: "Today I cannot concentrate on mackerel to feed my village, as we pray that Nicholas Witchell soon brings us news of the royal head emerging." In shanty towns of Sao Paulo, the destitute stopped begging to mark the event, declaring: "The breaking of the royal waters certainly puts our trifles into perspective."

Then he came, and even before we saw him we could tell he was majestic, glorious, divine, and the rest of us should show our gratitude by self-harming with scissors, as a sign of our pathetic humility next to his exalted magnificence. In Parliament, our representatives gave thanks, with speeches such as: "May we convey our sincerest, deepest, cosmic and interplanetary congratulations, that are yet miserably inadequate on such an orgasmic occasion, to the infinitely immaculate Royal Family upon the birth of the perfect one, and may we on this side of the House offer a selection of limbs we have severed with rusty implements as a gesture of our gratitude to their everlasting marvellousness."

Fish

Feeding Frenzy: Whales almost 'eat' divers in close encounter


When a group of divers jumped into the water off the coast of central California recently, they probably weren't expecting to get so close to a pair of whales.

In a video of the remarkable encounter, two whales appear to almost "eat" the divers as the marine mammals breach the surface of the water with mouths open wide.

The scene is rather surprising since the whales featured in the video appear to be humpback whales, which are known to feed on plankton and small fish.

Filming from the boat, one of the crew captures the incredibly close call on video as the divers scramble back to the rig to get away from the whales. The video, posted on YouTube Saturday, also includes underwater footage of the moments leading up to the whales' breach when a surge of small fish comes rushing toward the camera.

It's likely that the whales were preparing to consume the school of small fish by swimming toward them with their mouths agape.

As Smithsonian Magazine notes, technically, it is possible for certain whales to swallow humans, however it's highly unlikely.

In 2011, another pair of whales surprised a surfer and kayakers after they nearly landed atop the paddlers in a video filmed by a bystander.

The humpback whale is endangered throughout its range, which includes all major oceans between the equator and subpolar latitudes, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

Mr. Potato

Meet a moderate Syrian insurgent

ship to syrian rebels
© Niño Jose Heredia/©Gulf News
Hi, my name is Mostafa and I'll be your moderate insurgent today. I'm addressing you all because we badly need your help. We could have started a Facebook page, like We Need Your Weapons or something, or ask the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights to make a YouTube video, but I prefer to speak straight to your heart.

Our Supreme Commander, the blessed General Salim Idriss, has acknowledged we are now receiving many new weapons from many friendly Arab countries, which helped us "destroy more than 90 armored vehicles" of the Syrian regime. And Amrika helped us to get the guns, of course. But we need more.

Your President Mr Obama told the Blessed King of Saudi Arabia last Friday that he is committed to providing more support for us. Your Secretary of State Mr Kerry said on Saturday there must be more support for us "in order to have an impact on the ground". Your CIA said they will make sure only moderate insurgents get the weapons, and not the bad guys.

But your Congress is blocking our weapons. Oh people from Congress!

Crusader

China deploys elite gaggle of geese police

Image
© AlamyLaw enforcement agents described the geese as a new “highlight of stability maintenance work” and said they had proved themselves “better than dogs” in tackling crime.
"Among all poultry, geese [are known] for being extremely vigilant and having excellent hearing," Zhang Quansheng, a police chief in Xinjiang's Shawan county, told the newspaper.

The People's Daily said the "sharp, keen and brave" animals were proving an invaluable tool in Xinjiang's war on crime and were now being "actively promoted" across the region.

Law enforcement agents described the geese as a new "highlight of stability maintenance work" and said they had proved themselves "better than dogs" in tackling crime.

"Geese are very brave. They spread their wings and will attack any strangers entering [someone's] home," said Mr Zhang, the local police chief.

The birds were like "a radar that does not need power", he added.

Fish

Flap over fins lands mermaid in hot water


  • Fishhawk Ranch - Eden Sirene moves with an almost "otherworldly" grace. Eden, better known as Jenna Conti, feels at home wearing her custom made silicon mermaid suit. "It makes me feel amazing makes children smile makes adults smile, everybody happy, you don't expect to see a mermaid at the pool," Conti said. "I'm a 48-year-old man and I get a big smile on my face seeing her swim," said bob Abruszzese, a neighbor.

    The problem is, the tale about her tail doesn't appear to have such a happy ending -- at least not yet. Monday, she learned from her community board that she cannot wear her outfit in the pools at Fishhawk Ranch. The Community Development District saying it's a safety concern, and that there's a "no-fin" policy.

    Rules are rules, they say.

    "This can't come flinging off in a pool like swim fin, and it's not made of a hard plastic," Conti said. "We love what's she trying to do, be kind to children and do something good for the community. We love her intentions -- it's simply that it violates rules," said board chair Terrie Morrison.

    So it looks like this little mermaid won't be able to swim freely, but she says the silver lining is all the support she's received from the community. She says despite the setback, she still plans to reach her ultimate goal of swimming underwater at the Florida Aquarium. Perhaps then, this mermaid will find the fairytale ending.

    "We just wanted to show some magic here in Fishhawk, that's all," she says.

    Smiley

    Squirrel accused of vandalizing SUV


    Martin County, Florida - A family that though it was being targeted by vandals is breathing easier now that they captured the culprit - a squirrel - on video, according to WPTV. Nora Ziegler had called police on two occasions after 6-inch holes were found on two wheel wells on her SUV.

    "They asked me if I had any enemies and I said no," Zieglar tells WPTV.

    Then one day while taking out the trash, Ziegler noticed some funny business and grabbed her smartphone. Turns out it was a squirrel that was causing the damage.

    "I'm not happy to see my car like this but at least I didn't have any enemies, at least not people," she said.

    The family has since named the squirrel Munchy.

    Book 2

    J.K. Rowling revealed as secret author of crime novel

    Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling donned an invisibility cloak of her own for her new novel.


    J.K. Rowling
    © Getty ImagesJ.K. Rowling
    In top-secret fashion, she published The Cuckoo's Calling under the name Robert Galbraith. Her publisher, Mulholland Books -- an imprint of Little, Brown and Company -- described the author as a former member of the Special Investigative Branch of the Royal Military Police.

    "He left the military in 2003 and has been working since then in the civilian security industry," the publisher's website said. "The idea for (protagonist) Cormoran Strike grew directly out of his own experiences and those of his military friends who returned to the civilian world. 'Robert Galbraith' is a pseudonym."

    The Sunday Times, curious about who this mystery novelist really was, connected the dots -- noting that "he" used an agent, editor and publisher who had worked with Rowling.

    Yoda

    This pig's forehead looks just like Yoda from Star Wars

    Yoda Pig?
    © Metro.co.uk
    A pig with a furrowed brow that resembles Yoda has become the delight of Star Wars fans and pork connoisseurs.

    Two-year-old pot belly pig Ramona Flowers takes regular strolls around her neighbourhood and is said to enjoy the reaction her unique forehead gets from local residents.

    Proud owner Luis Bojorquez, 34, from Tijuana, Mexico said: 'It was my wife's cousin that first noticed her head after she took a few pictures of Ramona.

    'It looks just like Yoda's face and I was really surprised that I had never noticed it before.

    'I'm not so sure she would like the comparison as we've always thought of her as a spoilt princess and if she found out it might make her have one of her infamous temper tantrums.

    'We called her Ramona Flowers because she reminds us of the character from the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels and has a feisty but fun nature, just like in the comics.

    'She attracts a lot of attention from neighbours and as she roams around freely and she is often brought back home by the local kid in the area.'

    Frog

    Incredible moment a snail makes its way over the back of a sleeping frog in the slowest game of leapfrog ever!

    To go at a 'snail's pace' is rarely considered a good thing.

    But when a snail decide to slide across a sleeping frog, it's very slow and steady rate probably saved it's life - because it didn't wake the amphibian, which normally feasts on the molluscs.

    This snail enjoyed a long game of leapfrog as it takes eight minutes to calmly climb over a croaker before reaching its destination.
    Image
    Here we go! The frog was napping in a branch when a snail slid along to interrupt its snooze

    Image
    Slow and steady wins the race: The snail decides the only way to reach its destination is to slide over the frog - which takes eight minutes

    The frog was enjoying an afternoon nap in a branch in Indonesia when the snail slid along to interrupt its snooze.