Two international news agencies are at the centre of a row over self-censorship after withdrawing an unflattering photograph of the French president, François Hollande. Agence France-Presse (AFP) and Reuters were subjected to criticism and widespread ridicule on the internet and social media sites after deciding to pull the picture.

The photograph was taken when Hollande visited a school in Denain in northern France where he was presiding over a round-table discussion on recent reforms that changed school hours.

It coincided with the start of the new school term for the majority of French schoolchildren. He is pictured sitting in front of a blackboard, on which is written "Aujourd'hui, c'est la rentrée" ("Today it's back to school") with a wide grin and rather gormless facial expression.

The original picture was captioned: "During a visit to Denain Michelet school, September 3 2013, François Hollande smiles chairing a panel discussion on the reform of school timetables established by the government."

Hollande, who sold himself as Monsieur Normal during his presidential election campaign, once had a reputation for being one of the country's wittiest politicians, but has suppressed his humorous side since being elected, for fear of being perceived to lack gravitas.

A Swedish man was barred from entering his own home by a gang of elk drunk from eating rotten apples. Four rowdy elk and one calf blocked him from walking up to his house in Ingaro, an island in Stockholm's suburbs, after consuming one too many of the fermented fruit.

He was forced to call cops to come and deal with the rowdy quintet. Luckily, the group left before officers arrived, but police then ordered the man to clear his garden of the fallen food to try and stop it from happening again. Police spokesman Albin Näverberg told the Mirror that the man was right to call in authorities.

"They can be really dangerous. They become fearless," he said. "Instead of backing away when a person approaches, they move toward you. They may even take a run at you."

Swedish police reportedly take dozens of calls about drunken elk each week during the fall months.

"If there is a lot of fermenting fruit, then we get a lot of calls about drunken elk. But most often they're gone before officers arrive," Näverberg added.

Oregon - A police officer who spotted something unusual in Gresham Thursday night was given a warning not to get any closer.

"The goat will charge you," he was told.

That goat was on the roof of a house. Officers out on patrol spotted the goat on the 300 block of Southeast 172nd Avenue at 7:30 p.m. Thursday.

When they inquired if everything was OK, seeing as how goats aren't found on rooftops every day, they were told this farm animal was not the friendly type.

In fact, they were told "that goat only respects one man," according to Gresham police.

That man is the owner of the goat, who arrived at the house and got the 2-year-old animal weighing in at 35 pounds off the roof without further incident.

Officers suspect the goat used a ramp near the home to climb his way up to the top of the house.

About a year ago, I wrote on my blog:

Ops!

Tragedy, or finally an excuse to get rid of "being always available" and get my life back?

I'll probably just end up getting another cell phone, but it might be interesting seeing what happens in the meantime...

So, it's been a year, and I still don't have a cell phone, and it's really great.Why no cell phone?

Being a developer, I really need long stretches of uninterrupted time to get wired in and be productive. Having a cell phone quickly became a nightmare as I grew my client base. I would get a call every half a hour or so, and that was pretty disrupting to my work, since I had to start over 1,000 times, and right when I got back to work the phone would ring again.

Turning it off or worse yet not answer? People would accuse me that I was ignoring them on purpose, even if I'd call them back, and they'd say stuff like "what if it was an emergency! You're not reliable", bla bla bla.

All right, so what now?

When I decided to take the opportunity to drop the cell phone thing once and for all, I was a little scared. I was scared that clients would complain, and take their business elsewhere.

The main lesson from the anniversary of Martin Luther King's famous speech seems to be that everyone in the world agrees with it and always has done. Sarah Palin said "May his dream become reality". John McCain and George W Bush made tributes to him, and I expect the ghost of the bloke who shot him said, "He was a great and uniquely wonderful man, a role model for everyone in the world, and as a professional assassin it was an honour and privilege to assassinate someone with as much integrity as Dr King."

And everyone insists he would have supported what they're doing now. The anti-immigration, pro-war Tea Party claims Dr King was a conservative who would back them. Fox News claimed that if he was still alive he'd support their campaign against black rap music. Jeremy Clarkson will claim that when King organised a boycott of Alabama buses, it wasn't because they were segregated but because he knew public transport was rubbish, and he wanted to go everywhere in a BMW 3.0 litre V8 M60.

Psychoanalysts will insist the speech was a call for more people to go into therapy, as his dream of children living in a world in which they weren't judged by the colour of their skin can only be interpreted as an unconscious desire to drown his father.

David Cameron praised King's "visionary leadership", so he seems to believe it's in the spirit of such leadership to send vans around inner cities plastered with messages condemning illegal immigrants. Because presumably if Dr King was around now, he'd say: "I know I demanded compassion for all people, but even I draw the line at some bastard poncing off our housing benefits just because his village got burned down in Somalia."

Politicians and newspapers that condemn immigrants and Muslims for "flooding" the country are full of praise for the "Dream" speech, to the extent that you need to check you heard it right, as maybe he said: "I have seen the promised land, and there's no bloody Bulgarians in it for a start."

Marseille: Batman called upon to save desperate French city from crime wave, gang killings

Residents in Marseille, France have officially asked for a Batman to come help them with skyrocketing crime.

The mock petition, titled "Will it take Batman to save Marseille?" has thousands of signatures and a Facebook page for the group has more than 4,000 fans.

Europe's current "Capital of Culture" is also considered "Europe's most dangerous place to be young."

More than a quarter of the 800,000 population is living below the poverty line, and there have been 13 gang-related killings so far this year. In 2012, authorities intercepted around 300 Kalashnikovs.

The French city's quest for Batman comes following the death of pensioner Jacques Blondel, 61, who was shot dead trying to stop a robbery by first knocking the thieves over with his car then confronting them with a baseball bat.

The petition says increased police presence in the city hasn't been effective at curbing crime rates, and accuses politicians of empty rhetoric and sound bites.

"A Batman for Marseille aims to encourage Marseille residents to take their own security and not simply outbid opportunistic communication and political meningitis," the petition says.

The petition suggests community groups unite and work toward a "common vision" for the city rather than relying on increased police and military deployment.

Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out.

In Taiwan, an unusual kind of massage is given - to those who are brave enough. Knife massages date back more than 2,000 years to China, where they originated.

Now Taiwan is one of the few places where they are still practiced.

Cindy Sui put herself on the chopping block at a knife massage parlour to give the treatment a try.

Overland Park - Some tiny little people moved into Overland Park, Kan., or at least that's what city workers think.

Gnome homes are popping up all over the city.

The city doesn't know who is building them, but they are intricate: miniature little doors, tables and place settings.

"You know, I think it's bringing smile and laughter to those who are finding out about it," said Sean Reilly, spokesperson for Overland Park. "That's exactly what we need sometimes in our lives is a little bit of happiness, joy and truly just laughter."

The city doesn't know how many there are, but so far, they've found two along Tomahawk Creek Trail, one between Deanna Rose and St. Andrew's Golf course, and one more across Switzer behind the ball fields.

At last, a politician has been arrested.

The one they've taken in is Caroline Lucas, the Green MP, because of all the lousy things you can remember politicians doing in recent years, have any been as filthy as what she did this week, standing in a field with a placard?

Some MPs, such as Stephen Byers and others, were filmed promising to use their status to offer access to ministers, if you paid them between £3,000 and £5,000 a day. That could be seen, if you were picky about morals, as abusing your position slightly, but he only needed a mild caution, because at least he didn't bring the good name of Parliament into disrepute by standing in front of a tree protesting about fracking.

If Caroline Lucas had any decency, instead of writing a slogan about protecting the environment on that placard, she'd have sold the space for advertising. She could still have had "Stop Climate Change" in one corner, but the rest of it would have been sold for £3,000 to £5,000 to someone reputable such as British Aerospace, and say something like "There'll be sod-all to frack after our bombs attack", and the reputation of our government would be intact.