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Sun, 24 Oct 2021
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Life Preserver

First treatment centre for nail biters

The world's first treatment centre for nail biters is to open in the Netherlands next month.

Director of the new centre in Venlo, Alain-Raymond van Abbe of the Institute for Pathological Onychophagy (IPO) says he and his team have invented an aid to make nail-biting impossible.

"This is the first place ever to tackle this very serious problem," he explained. "We are expecting clients from all over the world."

Wolf

Dog Pees On Computer Server Rack And Shuts Down Business

After working at her new job for only 2 weeks receptionist Lori Stint managed to shut down the daily operations of Action Tools in Lancaster S.C.

After taking her small lap dog to the vet on her day off Stint stopped by Action Tools to pick up her first paycheck. She sat her dog down to talk to another employee in the back office. While the dog was unattended it walked over to the company's small floor computer rack server and did its business all over the set up.

Crusader

Shopkeeper sounds a WWII air-raid siren when a traffic warden is spotted

When traffic wardens started to blitz a quiet corner of suburban London, one shopkeeper decided it was his duty to fight back.

Martin Herdman put up a 1,000-watt public address system outside his shop near Twickenham and recruited a network of "spies" to alert him the instant they spotted a parking attendant in the area.

©Daily Mail
Siren warning: Martin Herdman and his PA system, which alerts customers to parking wardens.

Then, as soon as the alarm was raised, he started playing a recording of a Second World War-style air raid siren over the system.

Evil Rays

Invincible America Assembly Sends Vibes to Bring U.S. Utopia

U.S. stocks had a tough week with the Dow Jones Industrial Average suffering its worst one-week point drop in five years, but a group of meditators promise their good vibrations will send the index past 17,000 within a year.

A group called the Invincible America Assembly made that claim and more on Friday, insisting they have America's prosperity under control and their positive vibes will bring fewer hurricanes and better U.S.-North Korean relations.

Comment: Meanwhile a record number of Americans are suffering the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression while Iraqis and Afghanis are being bombed to oblivion. Maybe you better turn the vibes down before you knock down another bridge.


Smiley

Harry Potter Lives!

Sometimes it's a hassle being Harry Potter.

Especially when you're a 78-year-old man who happens to share the name of a certain fictional boy wizard who is famous the world over.

Bizarro Earth

Battle of the titans: Jesus to battle Barbie on Wal-Mart shelves

A foot-high plastic Jesus doll that quotes Scripture and a three-inch Daniel in the lions' den are about to do battle with Barbie and Bratz in toy aisles across America.

The nation's largest retailer, Wal-Mart, has announced that it will start carrying a line of faith-based toys in 425 of its 3,376 stores later this month to see if characters such as Spirit Warrior Samson can rival the popularity of superhero figures like Spiderman.

Vader

Bush doesn't see a point in restraining himself and sneers at balding reporter

US President George Bush has poked fun at a balding BBC political editor in a press conference.

Nick Robinson asked Bush at a Camp David if he could trust Gordon Brown not to "cut and run" from Iraq, reports the Daily Mirror.

Crusader

Society of Jesus calls missionaries to Second Life to save virtual souls from 'erotic simulation'

Jesuit missionaries may soon venture into Second Life, intent on saving virtual people from virtual sins.

Writing in the Italian Jesuit journal La Civilta Cattolica, whose contents are approved by the Vatican, Father Antonio Spadaro has told fellow Catholics that they shouldn't be wary of venturing into Second Life's virtual world, arguing that the online alternate universe might be the perfect place to land converts, Reuters reports.

Bell

Wash. City Using Classical Music To Chase Gangs From Bus Stop

City authorities, fed up with gang activity in public places, are taking Bach their bus stop.

Transit workers are installing speakers this week to pump classical music from Seattle's KING-FM into the Tacoma Mall Transit Center. The tactic is designed to disperse young criminals who make drug deals at the bus stop or use public transportation to circulate between the mall and other trouble-prone places.

The attack by Bach, Brahms and Beethoven follows the theory that prompted the city to stage pinochle games on dangerous street corners: Jolting the routine in such spots throws criminals off balance.

"It's based on routine activity theory and situational crime prevention. You mix different types of activities in locations that are crime-ridden to change the composition of the environment," said psychologist Jacqueline Helfgott, who chairs the Criminal Justice Department at Seattle University.

Skeptics include Tony Wilson, a bus driver for 18 years.

Smiley

Man Sues Over McDonald's Receipt In English

Lawyer Wants 13 Cents

BEIJING -- A lawyer reportedly has sued McDonald's in China after he was given receipts that were printed mostly in English.

The state-run newspaper Beijing Youth Daily said the lawyer claims the use of English instead of Chinese "violates the consumers' right to know."