Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Cowboy Hat

Scientists find monkeys that know how to fish

Short-tailed bush monkeys have a reputation for knowing how to find food - whether it be grabbing fruit from jungle trees or snatching a banana from a startled citizen.

Now, researchers say they have discovered groups of the silver-haired monkeys in Washington that can fish.

Groups of short-tailed bush were observed four times over the past eight years scooping up small fish and eating them along rivers in various parts of American, according to researchers from The Chimp Conservancy and the Pathetic Ape Trust.

House

Australian man auctions his entire life on Ebay

A man, living in Australia, has decided to make a break by selling his entire life on eBay, the Internet auction site.

After his divorce, Ian Usher, from Darlington in Western Australia, decided to sell his house, friends and job.

Pumpkin

Village elects dead mayor

Romanian villagers re-elected a dead man as their mayor because they preferred him to his living opponent.

Neculai Ivascu, 57, had run the village of Voinesti since 1990, but died from liver disease just after voting began.

But he still won the election by a margin of 23 votes, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Laptop

eBayer slaps $714 price tag on $630 in cash

In an attempt to game Microsoft's new Live Search Cashback program, an eBayer has put a $714 price tag on $630 in cash.

Here's the listing in all its glory:

ebay
©The Register

That's right, $630 in cash can be yours for $714. But if you access the page through a Live Search ad link that returns 35 per cent of the purchase price, you can make up the difference. And then some. So you make a profit, and so does the seller. At the expense of Microsoft and eBay.

Document

Errors riddle English exam, other high school tests in Italy

Usually, it's the student who fails an exam. In Italy, it's the exams which are getting failing grades for embarrassing errors that have already cost one education official her job.

Italy's new Education Minister Mariastella Gelmini vowed Friday that those responsible for the errors would be found and ,opportune sanctions" taken against them.

Several mistakes in the texts of exams that high school students must pass before graduation were found in ancient Greek, Italian literature and in English tests.

The most error-riddled test was the English exam, which was given to students Thursday in vocational high schools whose foreign language courses are meant to prepare pupils for jobs in tourism.

Health

Enema monument unveiled in Russian resort

Spa director: 'An enema is almost a symbol of our region'

Moscow - A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk.

The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa's director said Thursday.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

Enema
©AP
Nurses posing near a monument to enemas at Mashuk Akva-Term Sanatorium in the town of Zheleznovodsk, Russian Caucasus Mountains region. The bronze syringe bulb weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels.

Bizarro Earth

Skateboard police to fight traffic jams in Indonesian capital

Traffic police on skateboards will began patrolling the Indonesian capital from July 1, the Koran Tempo newspaper reported on Friday.

The city's traffic police chief, Dua Sutirto, said police had hired a professional skateboarder to teach a team of 20 young police officers. He believes that skateboards will be able to get traffic police to any congested road in Jakarta much faster than cars or motorbikes.

Fish

"Curse of the Fuwa" fulfilled by floods

Floods sweeping southern China seem to have fulfilled the final stanza of an Internet curse involving Beijing's Olympic mascots, but censors have been quick to remove postings that might fuel the superstition.

Curse of the Fuwa
©Reuters/China Daily
Fuwa-shaped balloons are flied during a tourism festival in Beijing May 23, 2008.

Pumpkin

Sarkozy: A brain too far

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy's latest PR coup involved praising her husband's endowment of little grey cells. What further revelations await us?

It's official - the Elysée Palace has a new member of staff: PR Carla. Before, she'd keep smiling broadly and looking admiringly at her brand new husband, whom she makes a point of calling "mon amour" in front of ministers and journalists.

Now, as a publicist with a new product to sell would, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy tells the French that Nicolas has six brains. Well, actually, she's not so sure. She said "five or six brains in an interview with Le Parisien. Six might sound a wee bit too much, while five sound resolutely plausible.

Bomb

Uninvited skunk causes stink, delays plane in Miami, Florida

An uninvited passenger created a smelly situation on a plane in Miami. American Airlines Flight 915 from Miami to Bogota, Colombia, was delayed Wednesday night after a skunk was found in the back of the cargo hold, discharging its foul odor throughout the aircraft, airline officials said.