Welcome to Sott.net
Mon, 24 Oct 2016
The World for People who Think

Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


SOTT Exclusive: Is Putin really an Islamofascist refugee terrorist bent on infiltrating America? Sanity says 'no', but Hillary says 'yes'

Hillary Clinton at a recent press conference presenting her latest evidence that she says PROVES beyond any doubt that Putin is responsible for all the ills of the world
Russia invaded Ukraine. Putin and Trump masterminded the rise of extreme nationalism. 'Putin killed my son'.

Each of these claims has crossed the lips of Western radio commentators, media pundits, and politicians - even the most gracious Hillary 'The Killary' Clinton.

These claims might seem like complete fantasy to any rational, thinking person, who might, after examining the available evidence, conclude that, far from being the source of fascist nationalism, Putin's Russia is far more democratic than the US, Russia defeated fascism in World War II, Russia was responsible for helping mitigate ISIS terrorism in Syria, and Putin's Russia has done a stand-up job of rebuilding the country after its post-Soviet collapse. But they'd be woefully wrong, according to the U.S. government.

In order to rebut these ridiculously reasonable claims, the State Department has released incontrovertible evidence that Putin is responsible for everything that's gone wrong - from the rise of the Alt-Right movement in America, to destabilizing the Western world, and even establishing the American police state. That's right. If you think things are bad in America, don't blame Americans - blame Putin.


Newly trained US soldiers arrive in German town, mistaking it for Liechtenstein

© Omar Sobhani / Reuters
Two US soldiers who decided to discover the world, starting with Liechtenstein, were baffled after finding themselves in a tiny German town instead, some 600 kilometers away from their intended destination.

The case started when two US marines who completed their training at the American Air Force base near the German town of Ramstein-Miesenbach, decided to start a world tour, FreiePresse reports.

Their first stop was supposed to be the micro state of Liechtenstein located in Central Europe.

However, the navigation of the route did not quite work out as planned. Instead, both elite soldiers found themselves in the German town of Lichtenstein in the Federal state of Sachsonia.


Instant karma smite: CEO who jacked up cost of EpiPens hospitalized by bee stings

© God
Karma is a biatch if you are one
Mylan CEO Heather Bresch was hospitalized earlier today after being attacked by a swarm of bees.

Bresch was walking through a park during her lunch hour when the bee attack occurred. A large crowd of people formed to watch as she tried to run from the swarm.

"She must have gotten stung like 100 times, mostly on her face," said one shocked onlooker, who asked to remain anonymous. "Her face was puffed up all huge, she kinda looked like a muppet."

Bresch, who is apparently allergic to bee stings, immediately suffered a severe anaphylactic reaction. However, none of the bystanders had an EpiPen on hand to inject Bresch with relief.

Grey Alien

NASA admits to alien life - Just forgot to mention it

© Waterford Whispers News
"Sorry. We just kinda assumed everyone knew about it" NASA spokeswoman Trish Chamberson told a packed press conference at their headquarters in Washington DC today, after it was revealed the space agency has known for years about alien life, but just forgot to mention it.

"There are so many films, documentaries and TV programs on aliens, that we thought everyone was aware of them by now," Ms. Chamerson explained to the shocked crowd of reporters, "Grey's have been visiting our planet for thousands of years. Who do you think built the ancient pyramids and all the other megastructures across the world? C'mon guys, it's quite obvious".

During the two hour briefing, NASA scientists confirmed previously speculated information about UFOs and Alien technology, confirming that four separate races of aliens are in regular contact with NASA, and have actually asked the agency to say hello to everyone on the planet for them.

"We do apologise for this mix up, the whole thing just slipped our mind," another scientist explained, "we were so busy back-engineering their technology, we simply forgot all about it. They even have a base on the far side of the moon, and are currently mining several planets in our solar system for minerals. They've only started on Jupiter recently, hence the new rings around it. It's all good though, they're a nice enough bunch. They don't talk much though, but always complaining about our Nuclear weapons, claiming they affect parallel universes every time they're triggered".

The disclosure comes after 70 years of countless sightings and abductions, raising questions as to why it is they are here.

"The aliens are actually harmless and only interested in the planet's natural resources," the briefing concluded, "which shouldn't cause us any problems whatsoever".


'Hemp in Avalon' shopkeeper secretly grew cannabis in Glastonbury council's hanging baskets... for 18 years

© Google
Mr Cannabis's shop Hemp in Avalon in Glastonbury
A Glastonbury man says has been secretly growing cannabis in the town's prize-winning public flower displays, which are watered by the local council, for the last 18 years.

Business owner and campaigner Free Cannabis, who changed his name by deed poll in 1997, revealed he and others were planting the cannabis seeds outside his shop, 'Hemp in Avalon'.

"I and others come along and drop the seeds into the tubs, they get watered by nature - and the council.

"I am amazed that people get so excited about this, it's a sad reflection of society's hemp-phobia," he told Somerset Live.

"This is a plant that has so many medicinal qualities - it's a food, it's used for fibre and fuel, it basically gives you everything you need."

His activities were discovered after police received a complaint, and the plant was then ripped up.

He says the removal of the plant was "sad and shocking," as it had become an unofficial part of the display outside the shop for almost two decades.


Duke the Great Pyrenees becomes mayor of Minnesota town again

© Associated Press
Duke becomes mayor again.
A Great Pyrenees called Duke has been re-elected as mayor of the northwestern Minnesota town of Cormorant, for a third consecutive term.

Duke became a mayor of Cormorant, population 1,000, two years ago. He defeated Richard Sherbrook, the owner of a local store, through write-in votes. Duke was 7 at the time and can now boast of being the first mayor in the US to have taken office at such a young age.

The dog won his third election in a row, held Saturday during the 6th Annual Cormorant Daze Festival. Duke attended the event wearing a patriotic star-spangled bandanna around his neck and a small black top hat.


Copycat parrot imitates and intimidates kittens

Don't you dare ruffle my feathers!
The parrot mimics the cat's meow, and has no more fear of the feline.

Look how it intimidates those kitties.

They know who is boss!

Black Cat 2

Istanbul to dedicate monument to famous and beloved cat

© Twitter/Onedio
More than 12,000 people in Istanbul signed a petition to erect a monument of the world famous cat Tombili, which died two weeks ago.

On August 1, the Internet mega star, a cat named Tombili, died from a disease.


Jonathan Pie: "Cutting mental health care? That's mental!"

© YouTube/Jonathan Pie (screen capture)
Jonathan Pie gets annoyed at the media's obsession with terrorism whilst ignoring other massive issues...including the nation's mental health!


Brain dead police shoot department store mannequin 67 times after mistaking it for gunman

While responding to a call about a suspicious person in the vicinity of Viewmont Mall early Sunday morning, Scranton police opened fire on a discarded department store mannequin which they initially believed was a man armed with a handgun.

The mishap began shortly after 12:15 a.m. on Sunday morning when police received a call about a possible homeless man lurking in the alley behind the Macy's department store on Viewmont Drive. Officers arrived on the scene to find what they believed was a muscular African-American man standing idly behind a dumpster. "The individual in question was dressed in a tan hoodie-style sweatshirt and appeared to be naked from the waist down," Major Howard Colvin told the Scranton Times.