Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bizarro Earth

UK: 'He's Up There With The Dumbest'

A burglar has been hauled before the courts after leaving police a helpful clue at the crime scene - his name scrawled on a wall.

Peter Addison, 18, daubed "Peter Addison was here!" in black marker pen at a campsite for underprivileged children.

He and friend Mark Ridgeway, 18, had been on a drunken wrecking spree at the camp.

They had smashed crockery, let off fire extinguishers and used dinner plates as cricket balls.

When police arrested Addison, he was even wearing a T-shirt stolen from the site, the Crown Prosecution Service said.

Penis Pump

Go away, stupid! Bush thanked "Austrian" PM John Howard, for being a kind OPEC host.

Click here to see the video.

OPEC is the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries.

Mr Bush, who flew halfway around the world to be in Australia, not Austria, for the APEC (Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation) summit of world leaders, took to the stage at the Sydney Opera House.

He thanked Mr Howard for his introduction and for being such a "kind host" for the OPEC summit.

"I mean APEC summit," he said.

"I've been invited to the OPEC summit next year. The APEC summit."

The faux pas brought laughter from his audience.

Smiley

Osama shows up at APEC summit




How trusted is Canada around the world? Consider this: Prime Minister Stephen Harper is in Australia for a meeting of Asia-Pacific leaders in Sydney. But little did he know that his presence and the Canadian flag would be used to pull off a bizarre gag that hasn't left security forces there laughing.

Bulb

Cops: Pair Announced Pot Sale Out Window

BOSTON - Announcing the sale of pot out of a dorm room window is probably not a good idea when two police officers are within hearing range.

A pair of former Northeastern University freshmen are facing drug and other charges after prosecutors said one of them leaned out his dorm window on Sunday and loudly told a woman in the dorm opposite his that he and his roommate were selling pot.

Magic Wand

Yeti footprint photos go under the hammer

The first photographic evidence that the yeti, or abominable snowman, might be more than a flight of Himalayan fancy has surfaced in public and is to be offered at auction later this month.

Four photographs of large paw prints in the snow beneath Mount Everest are to be sold at Christie's in London on September 26.

Bizarro Earth

Swiss inmates slip away

Four convicts escaped from a Swiss jail after an inmate lathered himself in soap and squeezed through the food hatch in his cell door.

Skinny Bert Bruegger, 20, stripped naked and rubbed soap all over his body to squeeze through the hole.

Bizarro Earth

South Africa: Thieves pub crawl with corpse in hearse.

Two men stole a hearse with a corpse in it and hopped from shebeen to shebeen in Soweto on a drinking spree at the weekend.

They were caught after the vehicle ran out of petrol in the early hours of yesterday morning. They got stuck in Freedom Park informal settlement, near Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital, at about 3am.

The already drunk men went into a shebeen where they met three women. They asked the women to help push the car to the nearest petrol station.

They told the women the corpse in the coffin belonged to a relative and that they were on their way to bury it at Avalon Cemetery.

Sheeple

Was Jesus given a fair trial, Kenyan court to hear case

Did Pontius Pilate commit a human rights abuse when he ordered the crucifixion of Jesus Christ more than 2,000 years ago?

That is the question facing Kenya's High Court.

A case filed by a group called "Friends of Jesus" calls on the court to interpret the Law of Moses to determine whether Jesus received a fair trial for blasphemy.

Evil Rays

Pushing The Emotional Buttons! Secondhand Smoke Is A Health Threat To Pets

It has been in the news for years about how secondhand smoke is a health threat to nonsmokers. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention indicates that secondhand smoke is attributed with killing thousands of adult nonsmokers annually.

If smoking is that harmful to human beings, it would make sense that secondhand smoke would have an adverse effect on pets that live in the homes of smokers, said Dr. Carolynn MacAllister, Oklahoma State University Cooperative Extension Service veterinarian.

Comment: On the other hand, read "Let's All Light Up!"


Smiley

Malaysian taxi drivers issued dress code

Authorities are warning taxi drivers of hefty fines if they are caught without socks, shoes and the other proper attire prescribed by a licensing board, an official said Monday.

The dress code requires taxi drivers to tuck in their shirts - which have to be white, not the beige that many have been wearing.