Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Pocket Knife

Drunk Russian sleeps off knifing

A Russian man trying to sleep off a night of after-work drinking failed to notice a six-inch (15-cm) knife in his back - until his wife woke him up.

Cow Skull

For sale: Triceratops, 65,000,000, one careful owner

The rare skeleton of a Triceratops which roamed the plains of North America some 65 million years ago will go under the hammer at Christie's in Paris tonight, only the second dinosaur fossil of its size to be sold at auction.

Triceratops
©Philippe Wojazer/Reuters
Whoever buys the Triceratops will get the chance to name it

Smiley

UK: Heathrow Terminal 5 song is web hit

Two disgruntled British Airways passengers have heaped more embarrassment on the airline by a posting a musical video mocking Terminal 5 on the internet.

Tim Soong turned to satire after BA managed to wreck his wedding plans by losing his luggage, leaving he and his best man, Andy Baynes, without their suits. His fiancée, Sokha Nhim, was also left minus her dress.

The 29-year-old decided to take revenge by filming a covert video in Terminal 5 after claiming the airline denied him compensation.

No Entry

Czech PM refused entry to Cyprus nightclub

He may be the Prime Minister of the Czech Republic, but those credentials were not enough to get him through the doors of a smart Nicosia night club this week.

Mirek Topolanek
©Unknown
Mirek Topolanek

Smiley

'Nazi' Pope Runs 'Child-Abusing Cult,' Says HBO's Maher

Comments by HBO's Bill Maher insulting the Pope and calling Catholicism a "cult" that promotes "organized pedophilia" have stirred resentment among many American Catholics upset he would say this the week before Pope Benedict XVI visits the United States.

Pumpkin

UK school's witch ban

A village school is to scrap its historic witch logo because of fears that it drives away pupils and teachers.

Warboys Community Primary School has used the emblem of a witch riding a broomstick for more than 60 years.

It marks the fact that the Cambridgeshire village was the last place in England to hang witches, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Smiley

Germany: Thief deposits loot with victim

Three days after stealing a rare collection of coins, a thief in Germany took them to the bank for safe keeping -- and delivered them into the hands of the man he had robbed.

"I don't think the thief was expecting that," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Dortmund on Tuesday.

Syringe

Nicolas Sarkozy inspires plastic surgery boom

Surgeons at a Harley Street clinic say more and more "alpha males", particularly those who are marrying younger women, are going under the knife, with Botox and male breast reduction top of the list.

Magic Wand

Satire: Oprah Launches Own Reality

(CHICAGO) - Calling it the next logical step in her celebrated career, and a groundbreaking achievement in applied quantum field theory, media giant Oprah Winfrey unveiled her latest project Monday: a completely separate realm of existence, known as >OpraH, which she will control on the subatomic level.

"Now, Oprah's always on!" Winfrey said through an interspatial image of herself broadcast between her world and ours. "I've created a place where anyone can come to share and laugh and feel totally free from the conventional laws of the physical universe."

"I invite you all to be guests in my new reality," she added.

Wolf

Oregon man thinks his black Labrador is an impostor

Lake Oswego, Ore. - Ken Griggs likes his new dog, but he preferred the old one. Then again, it might be the same dog. In a possible case of mistaken identity, Griggs said the black Labrador named Callie that he left at a Dundee kennel before spring break was not the same dog he picked up a week later.