Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Cult

Vicar offers stress relief in grave

A Vicar in Germany who had the novel idea of helping parishioners escape the stresses and strains of daily life by letting them lie in an open grave was upset when intrusive journalists spoiled the atmosphere.

"I meant it as a meditative exercise," pastor Thorsten Nolting said.

Bulb

Magistrate issues arrest warrant for 'God'

A Magistrate today issued an arrest warrant for a man who failed to turn up to court because he is "God" and above the law.

Better Earth

Speeding ticket drives man round bend

NO one likes getting a speeding ticket in the post.

But when South Australian police sent one half way around the world to David Smart in northern England, the 65-year-old former surveyor was flabbergasted.

Mr Smart was fined $196 for driving 8km/hr over the speed limit in the Adelaide Hills, despite the fact he has never been to Australia.

Target

Blind luck helps archer make one-in-a-million Robin Hood shot



Tilly Trotter
©Apex
Tilly Trotter holds the bow she used to split one arrow with another,
an extremely rare feat known as a Robin Hood

An archer has achieved a one-in-a-million feat of marksmanship after splitting one arrow with another. What makes the shot even more remarkable is that Tilly Trotter is blind.

Smiley

The Speedos that could be just a bit too speedy

A revolutionary bodysuit that British swimmers hope will help them power to medals at the Beijing Olympics could be banned.

The skintight Speedo LZR Racer costume, which was developed with help from NASA scientists, has been worn in 16 world record-breaking swims in just six weeks since its launch, and now swimmers are clamouring to try it.

But the sport's governing body is worried that, because it apparently helps swimmers go faster, wearing it could constitute cheating.

Recycle

Whirlwind Romance Is Finished by Text

A supermarket worker who took advantage of the Leap Year to propose to her boyfriend on February 29 is back on the shelf.

Mail

US: Mystery WWII Letter Found In New Pants

A mystery surrounds a long-lost love letter sent from a soldier serving in World War II to his wife in Massachusetts.

The mystery is where that letter ended up.

It was found recently in a Tennessee shopping mall, inside the pocket of a new pair of pre-washed pants, which were made in China.

Briefcase

Satire? US Accidentally Ships Missile Parts to Taiwan, Accidentally Ships Back Money

Last week the Pentagon discovered a mistake that took place 2 years ago involving a shipment of fuses for intercontinental ballistic missiles to Taiwan. News came of this just minutes after relations between China and Taiwan became heated.

Wall Street

Man flees home half naked to evade mouse

Berlin - A man in Germany fled his home half naked for cold, snow-swept streets to escape a mouse in his living room, authorities said on Thursday.

"He said there was nothing he was more afraid of," police in Goettingen said in a statement.

Image
©izaspie
Sott editor's conceptualization of mouse-like behavior that caused such a fright.

Bizarro Earth

India: Puzzled pilot refuses to land at new airport

An airline pilot took his passengers on a 1,200-mile detour after refusing to land at a new airport in the southern Indian city of Hyderabad, claiming he had never heard of it.

With 233 passengers on board, the KLM pilot diverted the flight from Amsterdam northwards from Hyderabad to New Delhi, was denied permission to land, and finally arrived in Bombay two hours later.