Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Fish

The psychology of beach towels

Newsflash: people who drive black cars suffer from a lack of confidence while those in orange vehicles are more likely to experience mood swings.

Leaving aside the obvious - wouldn't you have to be unstable to buy an orange vehicle? - this invaluable data comes from a recent survey conducted by Oregon-based CNW Marketing Research.

The findings contribute new insights to the scientific field known as "What X Reveals About Your Personality."

Black Cat

Cat helps debt-strapped Japanese train

A money-losing Japanese train company has found the purr-fect mascot to draw crowds and bring back business - tabby Tama.

All the 9-year-old female cat has to do is sit by the entrance of western Japan's Kishi Station, wearing a black uniform cap and posing for photos for the tourists who are now flocking in from across the nation.

Her job makes cultural sense in Japan, where cats are considered good luck and are believed to bring in business.

Tama has done such a good job of raising revenue for the troubled Kishikawa train line that she was recently promoted to "super-station-master."

Image
©AFP

Beer

Drunk clerk fakes robbery in Denham Springs

A clerk in Denham Springs reported to Livingston Parish police that he was beaten and robbed and described a suspect, but a review of the store's surveillance system showed that no robbery had occurred, according to police.

Smiley

Psychiatric patient directs traffic in Montenegro, Serbia

BELGRADE - A man suffering from a psychiatric disorder directed traffic in Montenegro's capital, Podgorica, for at least half an hour until police officers caught him, local media reported.

Better Earth

Germany: Wild Boar Help Police Round up Car Thieves

A duo of young car thieves were thwarted in their attempt to evade police capture on Wednesday night when some wild boar got in their way. Police had to rescue one of the suspects from a herd of wild boar defending their young.

Wild boar have had some bad press recently in Germany with increasing numbers of the animals venturing into cities in search of food. However, late on Wednesday night the feral creatures made something of a contribution to law and order by helping police round up some crime suspects.

Heart

13-Year-Old Twins Write Award-Winning Novel in the Face of Adversity



JBB Winner
©Unknown

Missile Rider Publishing announces the nationwide release of the award-winning novel, The Strand Prophecy, written by twins, Brittany and Brianna Winner, 13, and their father Jeff Winner. Appropriately dubbing themselves JBB Winner (Jeff, Brittany and Brianna), the twins collaborated with their father to pen this exciting science-fiction adventure even though, at first glance, the task seemed impossible.

Smiley

Get a good night's kip...on the moon

They are everywhere, popping up all over the country offering a decent night's sleep for a reasonable price.

But one budget hotel company has dec­ided to expand into the final frontier - and has bought a plot on the Moon.

Premier Inn claims it will welcome visitors fresh off the shuttle from Earth within 25 years. But first it has to work out how to carry materials for the 4,000 sq m (43,000 sq ft) building into space.

USA

Obama, Clinton, McCain Join Forces To Form Nightmare Ticket

WASHINGTON - Presidential hopefuls John McCain (R-AZ), Barack Obama (D-IL), and Hillary Clinton (D-NY) announced Monday their plans to form what many Beltway observers have already dubbed the "2008 Nightmare Ticket," a calculated move that political analysts say offers voters the worst of both worlds.

Image
©Onion
Even without any opponent, the ticket intends to triple campaign ad spending.

Bulb

High gas prices drive farmer to switch to mules

MCMINNVILLE, Tenn. - High gas prices have driven a Warren County farmer and his sons to hitch a tractor rake to a pair of mules to gather hay from their fields. T.R. Raymond bought Dolly and Molly at the Dixon mule sale last year. Son Danny Raymond trained them and also modified the tractor rake so the mules could pull it.

Cult

Tokens of doom: Chinese Olympic mascots seen as signs of times

HONG KONG: Superstitious bloggers have linked China's earthquake disaster and other recent misfortunes to the five Olympic mascots, a Hong Kong newspaper reported yesterday.